9w1 & 9w8 Enneagrams: Relationships (A Complete Guide)

This article will look at how well the two enneagram types , 9w1 and 9w8, go together by looking at their traits. It will also comment on how these enneagrams behave in relationships and what their basic fears and desires are. The article will also introduce the two enneagrams.

Relationships And Traits: 9w1 & 9w8

In relationships, the 9w8 and 9w1 may differ in the following traits:

  • Perfectionism
  • Intimacy
  • Reserved Nature
  • Aggression
  • Relaxed Attitude
  • Conscientiousness

Before we look at each of these in detail, we will take a look at the two enneagram types and how they behave in relationships!

What Is The Enneagram Type 9w1?

The enneagram type 9w1 is an enneagram which identifies mostly with the type 9 enneagram but also shares some traits with the type 1 enneagram. These individuals are pretty much stable in life with accepting and trusting behaviour. They are friendly and are hence approachable by others; they tend to create relationships easily with others due to their traits of trusting and accepting others as they are.

This enneagram wants everything to be smooth. They make sure they themselves behave and feel as well as think in such a way that there are no hurdles and they expect the same from others. They want to be in a conflict free zone where people have a generally accepting nature and do not let any elements of their thoughts or feelings create any sort of dispute.

People with this personality are usually optimistic and want to think good of others or the events that are going around them. This is necessary to maintain a peaceful state of affairs internally and externally.

What Is The Basic Fear Of The Negotiator?

The name puts it right on the table! The negotiator is afraid of losing what they are fighting for; basically, they do not want to lose the thing or people that matters to them the most and they will put in all their efforts to keep what they want with them.

They are afraid of separation and distance coming between them and their loved ones. Whether it is a foreign assignment, new work tasks that prevent the negotiator from being at home with loved ones or the new kid at school who is slowly taking over their friends, the negotiator fears whatever can be a source of destruction for their most loved relations.

What Is The Basic Desire Of Type 9w1 Enneagrams?

The type 9w1 enneagram desires peace which is not only external but internal too. They want to feel content, satisfied and secure in their life and not be fearful that someone or something can take away what they desire most. Their wing 1 personality encourages them towards an idealized world hence these individuals not only want peace but the best type of peace which can only be achieved if they create a surrounding that is based on the best foundations.

What Is The Enneagram Type 9w8?

The enneagram type 9w8 associates with the type 9 mostly but also shares traits from the type 8 enneagram. Compared to other type 9 enneagrams, these types are more outspoken and like to take more risks! 

These individuals like to remain out of harm’s way but they have this innate urge to be assertive hence they have conflicting traits due to the fact that they share traits from two different enneagrams. So they tend to avoid conflict but if pushed a lot they will speak up and won’t back down at all! So be careful when you deal with them. They may seem harmless and easy to take advantage of but they will fight back if you exceed the boundaries they have set up!

These individuals like to simplify issues they are facing. If something is very stressful they will like to avoid it completely but in other cases they will try to minimize the magnitude of problems they experience. This may be very soothing in the initial term but as things go along, the problem will start becoming bigger and bigger and eventually the enneagram will have to face the music. They can’t run away from problems forever.

All in all, this enneagram is creative and optimistic. They are supportive and engage well with people because they are sociable. They are comfortable talking to people and enjoy the experience because they get to learn new things, can figure out what is going on around them and what things, if any, they need to be aware of.

Now that we have a general idea of this enneagram, we will take a deeper look at its personality by looking at its fears and desires!

Fears – 9w8 Enneagrams

The 9w8 enneagram is afraid of being separated from others or falling into the bad books of people! They want to be on the good side of people and not get on their nerves. This is why they avoid conflict or disagreement with others so they can be likeable and not the one who tends to ruin things – even if it means hiding the sour truth!

You will see people with this enneagram type backing down from their long held stances just to avoid getting into a fight. Even if they believe in something wholeheartedly or have done much research to easily prove the other person wrong, they will refrain from doing so. They are afraid they will be left alone because of following their own whims and desires or beliefs.

Desires

The one thing this enneagram desires is peace – internally and externally. They want to feel content and happy within and they also want to be at peace with those around them. They do not want to face any sort of conflict that will become a source of stress for them and force them to choose one thing over the other.

What happens is that this enneagram tries to attain peace at quite some costs which may work in the short term but will adversely affect this enneagram type in the long run! They often numb their negative feelings so as to avoid erupting into a conflict with others and feeling happy ‘artificially’. They also engage in hectic or repetitive routines to avoid thinking about the problems that bother them.

Relationships – How They Behave?

Although they can be supportive of their significant other, the 9w8 enneagram may sometimes avoid personal conflict and run at the show of emotions. They simplify things and tend to be blunt or stubborn which can hamper their efforts in a relationship. This may hurt their significant other who may not understand their personality and take offense.

The 9w1 enneagram on the other hand behaves differently when it comes to intimate relationships! They put the needs of their significant other first to the extent that they may overlook their own. However, they also have issues in facing conflict but will remain open minded even in tough situations. They are able to see things from different angles and are better at understanding the needs of their loved one.

Relationships And Traits: 9w1 & 9w8

In this section we will briefly compare the two enneagrams with regards to the following traits keeping in mind their behavior within a relationship:

  • Perfectionism: The 9w1 enneagram is higher on this trait where they tend to look at the small things and details in life. Hence they will have higher expectations with regards to their partner’s behaviour and may have the habit of pointing things out that they may think are not sufficient or wrong!
  • Intimacy: The 9w8 enneagram is quite instinctual and sometimes cannot overcome their animal desires as easily as others. The lust component in them may be higher as compared to the 9w1 enneagram and they may have higher expectations with regards to the intimacy they desire with their partner.
  • Reserved Nature: The 9w8 is also less reserved in their nature and more assertive. They will say what they feel, think or want and hence may be better at communication and getting what they want when compared to the 9w1 enneagram in a common relationship they share.
  • Aggression: Again, the 9w8 is higher on this trait because they have the habit of acting on their instincts and may not be as sophisticated as their partner the 9w1 enneagram. They may get angry quickly or express it more often.
  • Relaxed Attitude: At the same time, due to lesser perfectionist tendencies, this enneagram is more relaxed as compared to the 9w1 one.
  • Conscientiousness: The 9w1 wins here because they are more self aware and like to keep an eye on things in their environment. This makes them more responsible and organized as compared to 9w8 enneagrams.

Conclusion

This article took a look at the relationship between 9w1 and 9w8 enneagrams and highlighted behaviours and differences they exhibit in relationships. It also introduced both enneagram types in detail.

References

https://www.crystalknows.com/enneagram/type-9/wing-1

https://www.crystalknows.com/enneagram/type-9/wing-8