7 ENFJ Secrets that will surprise you (A complete List)

In this brief guide, we will look at 7 ENFJ secrets that will surprise you as well as some ENFJ weaknesses and ENFJ Famous people.

ENFJ Secrets

ENFJ is also known as the protagonist, and the secret behind this naming of the ENFJ is that they tend to be very popular and people-oriented, and they have a strong value system and a good understanding of the people around them.

It is no secret that ENFJ deeply cares about people, and is able to understand people well, but there are many things about this personality type that they tend to keep to themselves and do not really like to talk about.

For instance, it is no big ENFJ secret that these people will go to any lengths to help them out, but many people may not know that behind the title of being the peacemakers, the ENFJ actually has a need to avoid conflict and may sometimes go to great lengths to avoid it as well.

Sometimes, the ENFJ may secretly hope to avoid dealing with people who are being unreasonable or too emotionally-charged, as the ENFJ might find themselves getting deeply perturbed by this sort of behaviour.

The possible reason behind this ENFJ secret might simply be that these individuals are extroverted feeling type, which means that any emotion they come across, they feel with intensity, and this can be hard on them sometimes because they find themselves reflecting emotions that they find negative, which takes a toll on them.

Of course, the ENFJ keeps this secret, and their need to help is far greater than their need to avoid, which means that they may find themselves in these positions far too frequently for their liking and this makes it very likely that they will feel extreme stress. 

The ENFJ keeping this tendency a secret and getting involved in a conflict that they would ideally want to avoid may actually make them feel physically ill, but due to the fact that they feel so compelled to speak up, they may find it hard to stop.

More ENFJ secrets like the one mentioned above are given below.

ENFJ Secrets 1: They can be Reserved

The biggest ENFJ secret probably is that these people-pleasers and helpers can actually be very introverted at times, and they tend to be far more reserved than the other extroverts.

It has been mentioned before that the Jungian theory does not necessarily mean someone who loves to be with people and is open and laughing all the time, or going to parties and just doing the kind of manic things that people expect extroverts to do.

Even though the ENFJ is portrayed as someone who is constantly outgoing, energetic, and loves being around other people, the truth is that even these people need alone time as the introverts do, and this may be because of their inferior function of introverted thinking, which needs some time off to think about things.

Sometimes the ENFJ worries that their own self-expression would hurt someone else, or that they maybe need to step out so someone else may shine, and that may be another reason they may lurk away into the shadows, but the truth is they will find the shadows pretty comfortable, and like other extroverts, for example, the ESTP, they won’t feel the need to peek out and see if they can come back out. 

ENFJ Secrets 2: They are good judges of character

This ENFJ secret comes from the fact that the ENFJ has an introverted intuition function to corroborate their extroverted feeling, which makes them an excellent judge of character, and very few things may escape their understanding of people.

As they grow up, their people skills only grow better and better due to the information they take in through years of socializing with others. 

The ENFJ is not just great and reading people, they can also be great at recognizing other people’s motivations, desires, and emotions. 

Let’s face it, a personality whose primary interest in life is to help people improve, it’s natural that they develop and hone this skill to the level of a superpower, however, one needs to also remember that they can use this skill to form very set judgments about people as well.

ENFJ Secrets 3: They care most about people

This is not that big of an ENFJ secret but these peoples’ entire perspective of their environment is nearly completely shaped by other people, which explains their desire to mingle and help.

The ENFJ may often feel that most of their motivation is about their environment, and their needs and drives may often be based upon human situations and relationships. 

IF they were to take a thematic apperception test, which is meant to measure how the person’s personality figures into their interpersonal and dynamic functions, they may likely come up with a lot of social scenarios and likely show a high social intelligence.

The bad thing about this tendency is that the ENFJ may sometimes work too much, too tirelessly to make things right in the world or to make sure they do everything to enable and empower friends, colleagues, and family members, and they may do this at a great personal cost of physical or mental state.

While the ENFJ are good empathizers, they have their own secret inner life they need to also take care of else they run a serious risk of burning out.

ENFJ Secrets 4: They have low self-esteem

This is a big ENFJ secret and many of them may feel very insecure that it is known to other people, but the fact is that many ENFJs have rather a low self-esteem. 

It is entirely likely a person develops an ENFJ personality as a consequence of dealing with some sort of inner sense of low self-worth, and they feel that since they don’t feel the sort of accomplishment that other people might feel from their goals, they focus all their energy on taking care of other people, so that they are able to feel accomplished in that sense instead.

The ENFJs get their sense of self-worth and their self-esteem from the people and environment around them, and often they may feel like they need to be protecting everyone around them and standing up for everyone because secretly they may feel like they can’t do it for themselves.

This theory assumes that the ENFJ has something of a “hero complex” too, likely, which means that they may possibly be trying to make up for some perceived flaw that reduces their self-esteem.

ENFJ Secrets 5: They crave Security

Another possible ENFJ secret is that the ENFJ might possibly be somewhat insecure on the inside, and that is the reason why they are just about always helping out and trying to figure out how to make other people’s lives better.

The ENFJ may also crave the same thing they are trying to provide for someone else, because it is a common hypothesis and that people often overdo the kind of behaviour towards other people that they want to be done to them; it may almost be like a signal people send out saying “look, this behaviour is good and I like it, and if I am doing it so much that means I would like to have it done to me as well!” 

The ENFJ may also have an innate need to receive affection from people because they are secretly insecure about being left alone, unloved, or abandoned, and this may be driving hem to create a social circle where they are loved and popular and they may feel secure to know that so many people like them.

ENFJ Secrets 6: They can be Antagonistic

This ENFJ secret does not apply to a lot of ENFJs, but despite their amazing people skills, the ENFJs can actually be against people as well and use their skills to hurt people rather than to help them.

Due to their extroverted feeling function, the ENFJ can convince people to do anything they want, but in most cases, at least in the case of healthy and positive ENFJs, they may do this through encouragement, however, some unhealthy ENFJs that are more narcissistic in nature or those who have negative needs like being revered or respected or just seeking power, they may do it through manipulation.

Manipulation is not that hard for the ENFJ should they choose to do it, given their feeling function, and they may easily figure out what people around them want, and use that against them.

. Since the majority of ENFJs are truly concerned with the welfare of others, it is rare that an ENFJ will use this ability for misdeeds. They do have this power though and may exert more control over others than they realize.

The ENFJ may also use their ability to read people to subtly direct people into making decisions that they deem necessary for the person, or something that might help the ENFJ in some way.

Instances where the ENFJ may use these secret abilities usually come in handy when they want to avoid conflict or argument, which they hate in an intense manner, so they may use their insight into the person to come up with a solution, that not only benefits them but also avoids the conflict that they wanted to avoid.

The ENFJs are also very charismatic and enthusiastic, and due to the lack of the telltale villainous sort of signs that one may get from the argumentative ENTP, people may often not realize when the ENFJ has manipulated them.

ENFJ Secrets 7: They like people to stand up for them

The last ENFJ secret is that because the ENFJ hates confrontation or conflict so much, they may be very touched if someone stands up for them or defends them in the same way they do for others, and they would very much like the opportunity to have someone help them out in one of their helping episodes.

The ENFJ is usually running around hending a hand whenever they can, and they may not realize it, but when someone helps them out for a change they may be ridiculously touched and being spoiled like that would just about make this person’s day.

ENFJ Weaknesses

Here is a list of some ENFJ weaknesses:

  • They may be too idealistic or expect too much perfection at times.
  • They may struggle to make decisions.
  • They may sometimes be overly emotional.
  • They may have trouble taking care of themselves.
  • They may be stubborn.
  • They may be sort of interfering and try to help out even when someone does not want it.

Famous ENFJ People

Given below is a list of famous ENFJ people:

  • Johnny Depp
  • Martin Luther King Jr.
  • Matthew McConaughey 
  • Barack Obama
  • Nancy Reagan
  • Nelson Mandela
  • Mikhail Gorbachev
  • Jennifer Lawrence
  • Julia Louis-Dreyfus
  • Morgan Freeman
  • Andy Griffith
  • Reese Witherspoon
  • Helena Bonham Carter
  • Dakota Fanning
  • Ben Affleck
  • Emma Stone

Conclusion

In this brief guide, we looked at 7 ENFJ secrets that will surprise you as well as some ENFJ weaknesses and ENFJ Famous people. Please feel free to reach out to us with any questions or comments you may have.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs): ENFJ Secrets

Why are ENFJs the best?

ENFJs are the best because they feel happy when they are able to help others.

The ENFJs feel the best when they are able to indulge their genuine interest in humankind and they may like to use their exceptional intuitive awareness so that they may be able to help people the best way possible.

What are ENFJs attracted to?

ENFJ may be attracted to types like INFJs, INFPs, INTPs, and ISFPs.

Typically, an extroverted and intuitive personality like an ENFJ is attracted to a more introverted personality that is also feeling and intuition-based.

What makes Enfj happy?

The ENFJ is happy when they are able to spend time with people and help others out in the best way possible.

Citations

https://www.16personalities.com/enfj-strengths-and-weaknesses

https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2019/08/09/heres-the-secret-struggle-you-face-based-on-your-myers-briggs-personality-type/

https://www.yourtango.com/2018315772/super-secret-personality-traits-each-myers-briggs-personality-type

Divya is currently a Clinical Psychology Trainee in a Master of Philosophy program and holds a Master’s in clinical psychology. She has a special interest in Personality studies and disorders, having researched the subject before, and Neuropsychology; with an additional interest being Mood disorders. She likes to write about Psychiatric issues, having worked in multiple specialty setups during her time as a clinical psychology student, and in her free time she likes to cook and read.

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