Are ENFJs Insecure? (A Complete Guide)

In this guide, we will answer the question: Are ENFJs Insecure?. We will delve into understanding the ENFJ personality, their relations, strengths, and weaknesses.

ENFJ is one of the sixteen personality types of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. They are extroverted, social, warm, and kind individuals.

Are ENFJs Insecure?

The ENFJ person can experience insecurity in different situations.

They are likely to be insecure when they are criticized. They do not handle criticism well. Their self-esteem can take a dip if they have been criticized. The ENFJ person takes into consideration the feelings of others. They tend to make decisions from a more emotional perspective. Therefore, a feeling of insecurity seeps in when they have to make impersonal decisions that might affect others. The dominant function of the ENFJ is Extraverted Feeling (Fe). This pushes them to maintain peace and harmony in a situation. They are very receptive to others’ emotions and feelings. Hence, they will always take into account how their actions will impact someone. 

In situations, where their decision is right but is likely to hurt someone’s feeling, will leave the ENFJ feeling overwhelmed. It will stir up an unsettling storm within the ENFJ. Consequently, if they receive criticism for their actions, the ENFJ person’s confidence will further plummet. They might resort to defense mechanisms to cope with this feeling. Further, they might tend to be too critical of themselves.

Usually, being in a thinking environment for prolonged periods of time might require them to act in this manner, thus increasing their frustration. However, with time and experience, the ENFJ is likely to become adept at handling criticism. Typically, ENFJ children thrive in environments that allow them to nurture their creativity. They might experience a sense of insecurity when they are expected to engage in repetitive tasks in a structured environment. Further, as children, they tend to focus on the bigger picture, rather than the details. Hence, they might be uncomfortable in situations that require them to focus on the finer nuances.

When they are older, the ENFJ person is efficient in charting out possibilities and outcomes. However, as children, it becomes difficult for them to visualize possibilities. They are more likely to focus on facts in the present.

ENFJ Personality Type

The ENFJ person is outgoing, empathic, considerate, and idealistic. They are touted to be a people’s person. Resultantly, they are able to appreciate the unique potential of each person. They will readily empower people to nurture their abilities and pursue their ideas. They are termed as “catalysts for human growth”. The idealistic ENFJ will be able to extrapolate outcomes and possibilities. 

These extroverted individuals are highly receptive to the needs of others. They carry an awareness of human suffering. Their optimism enables them to envision changes in the future. They believe in the scope for improvement of circumstances. Their ambition leads them to feel personally responsible for bringing about change in society.

Cognitive Functions

Each personality type of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)  is represented by a stack of cognitive functions. These functions determine how an individual interacts with the world around them. These functions help us understand how each personality type perceives the information and utilizes it to carry out actions/ make decisions.

Dominant Function: Extraverted Feeling

For the ENFJ personality type, the dominant function is Extraverted Feeling (Fe). This allows them to freely engage with others. Typically, the ENFJ person is an outgoing personality. They enjoy engaging in social behavior. They feel energized by social interactions. This function also allows them to be highly receptive to the feelings and emotions of other people. They will prioritize the needs of others. Oftentimes, they might neglect their own feelings in the process of helping or pleasing others.

While making decisions, the ENFJ person will adopt a more personal stance. Their feelings and emotions are more likely to guide their decisions and actions. They do not want to hurt anyone. Hence, they always think about how their action or decision will impact other people. However, in the process of doing so, they might neglect practicality and objectivity.

Auxiliary Function: Introverted Intuition

The auxiliary function of the ENFJ personality type is Introverted Intuition (Ni). They take in the information and then generate ideas, impressions, and opinions from it. This function allows them to join the dots between complex pieces of data, spot patterns, and make sense of any abstract data. The ENFJ person is generally inclined to thinking about the future. They tend to focus on the larger picture, often missing out on the finer details.

Tertiary Function: Extraverted Sensing

For the ENFJ, their tertiary function is Extraverted Sensing (Se). These individuals are very receptive to the present. They are able to gather sensory information from their environment. Therefore, the ENFJ is constantly drawn to new experiences. Consequently, they tend to harbor a deeper appreciation for aesthetics and finer nuances.

Inferior Function: Introverted Thinking

The ENFJ personality type’s inferior function is Introverted Thinking (Ti). This contributes to a sense of organization and structure. This function enables the ENFJ to plan and schedule, bringing about a systematic approach to life. However, since this is an inferior function, the ENFJ might not be very confident of their ability to be organized. Further, since this is an inferior function, it tends to function unconsciously. When they develop this function, they are able to generate greater confidence in their decision-making abilities. Further, developing this function allows them to take actions and make decisions with an element of logic, as opposed to their general tendency to basing their decisions on personal values.

ENFJ Relationships

The Child

As a child, the ENFJ person is hight empathic. They are receptive to how others are feeling. This could stir up strong emotions in the child. Care-givers and other individuals should not be critical of the child’s emotions. Further, the ENFJ child will be very helpful to everyone around them. They might struggle to ask for help, for the fear of being a burden. It is important for parents to help the child understand the importance of nurturing their own emotional and mental well-being as well.

The Parent

The ENFJ parent might set high expectations for their children. Their children might struggle to meet these expectations. Their parenting style might often turn out to be over-bearing, restricting the child’s freedom to gain an understanding of the world around them. It is important for the ENFJ parent to allows their child to explore and learn.

The Friend

The ENFJ person is a very supportive friend. They are receptive to the needs of others. Therefore, they will go out of their way to help a friend in need. They want their friends to appreciate this nature of their personality. Additionally, they also wish the same in return. In the process of prioritizing everyone’s feelings, the ENFJ may tend to neglect their own. Consequently, they might not ask for help even when needed. It is important for their friends to be aware of this. Lending an ear to an ENFJ friend can often go a long way!

The Lover

In a relationship, the ENF partner’s happiness will rely on how their partner is feeling. This is due to their sensitivity to the feelings of others. They are likely to place their partner’s needs before their own. Further, they might often struggle to ask for support and help when needed. The ENFJ person wants their loving and affection to be appreciated and values in a relationship.

ENFJ Personality Type – Strengths

Individuals belonging to this personality type are adept at ensuring peace and harmony in a situation. They are master peace-keepers!

They are known for their confident communication style. They are able to put their thoughts into words with great ease. They can converse proficiently in diverse settings; from small crowds to larger gatherings.

The ENFJ person is great at persuading people. They are able to get people to do what they want them to. However, the ENFJ intention is not manipulation or personal gain. It is generally to benefit people or help them notice their potential.

ENFJ individuals make for great leaders. they can motivate people. They thrive in situations that allow them to work towards implementing change in society. they have a beautiful way while engaging with people. Their personalities are replete with a sense of idealism that allows them to see the potential in people around them.

ENFJ Personality Type – Weaknesses

They can be very selfless. So much so, that they lose sight of their own needs and desires. They tend to prioritize others over themselves.

The ENFJ person finds trouble saying “no”. They tend to say “yes” to every situation that comes their way. This is partly due to their openness to the many opportunities that life has to offer. However, in the process of over-committing, they end up with more than they can handle. They end up starting tasks without being able to finish all of them.

The ENFJ person may find it hard to make decisions that require them to leave their heart out. They struggle with impersonal reasoning.

Their headstrong, passionate self tends to jump into a situation without fully understanding the consequences of their decisions.

Conclusion

In this blog, we answered the question: “Are ENFJ insecure”. We further delved into understanding the ENFJ personality, their relations, strengths, and weaknesses.

Frequently Asked Questions: Are ENFJs Insecure?

What do ENFJ want in a relationship?

The ENFJ person is outgoing, empathic, and goal-oriented. They want a relationship where they feel appreciated, valued and understood. They want to be able to express their feelings opening (psychologyjunkie.com).

How do ENFJ show love?

The ENFJ person will show their love for a partner by having deep and long conversations about the partner’s needs and wants. They may also express their affections by their actions. Their high emotional intelligence allows them to verbally express their feelings for their partners (personalityclub.com).

Are ENFJs controlling?

The ENFJ person is adept at influencing people, they might not be able to control them completely. Therefore, if the ENFJ feels they are unable to help someone of their efforts criticized, their self-confidence might plummet (personalityperfect.com).

What makes an ENFJ happy?

The ENFJ personality type is known for its ability to understand people. They derive a sense of happiness from helping and serving others. They have a genuine interest in humankind and an intuitive awareness of people. (personalitypage.com

References

ENFJ Personality Type: The Protagonist

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/personality/enfj-personality-type-the-protagonist/

The Childhood Insecurities of Each Myers-Briggs® Personality Type

https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2018/06/09/the-childhood-insecurities-of-each-myers-briggs-personality-type/

ENFJ: The Giver (Extraverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging)

https://www.verywellmind.com/enfj-extraverted-intuitive-feeling-judging-2795979

Divya is currently a Clinical Psychology Trainee in a Master of Philosophy program and holds a Master’s in clinical psychology. She has a special interest in Personality studies and disorders, having researched the subject before, and Neuropsychology; with an additional interest being Mood disorders. She likes to write about Psychiatric issues, having worked in multiple specialty setups during her time as a clinical psychology student, and in her free time she likes to cook and read.