Are ENFJs Shy? (A Complete Guide)

In this guide, we will answer the question: Are ENFJ Shy?. We will also delve into understanding other interesting aspects of the ENFJ personality type. We look at the ENFJ personality type in romantic relationships and their strengths and weaknesses.

ENFJ is one of the sixteen personality types of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). These extroverted beings are outgoing and social. Despite this, they might often come across as shy in certain situations. Has this been surprising for you? In the following sections, we delve into understanding the shy side of the ENFJ personality type.

Are ENFJs Shy?

Generally, ENFJ individuals are considered to be extroverted, outgoing, and social. Therefore, the term “shy” seems to be a misfit when describing the ENFJ personality type. However, these individuals can be shy in certain situations

The Shy ENFJ

The cognitive functions of the ENFJ personality type are:

Dominant Function: Extraverted Feeling

Auxiliary Function: Introverted Intuition

Tertiary Function: Extraverted Sensing

Inferior Function: Introverted Thinking

The ENFJ person’s dominant function is Extraverted Feeling (Fe). This allows them to engage in social behavior with great ease. The ENFJ personality type is very comfortable around people. The natural abilities of the ENFJ allow them to start a conversation with even the most withdrawn individual in the room!

The general perception of an outgoing and extroverted person is someone who is loud and social. However, the Jungian perception of an extroverted person is far from loudness. The ENFJ individual is often called a people’s person. They enjoy interacting with individuals. In a room full of strangers, the ENFJ person will be comfortable striking a conversation with everyone.

The ENFJ person wants to be liked by people. They can be shy when they are nervous about people’s reactions to them. Sometimes, this shyness might push them away from people. This can affect the ENFJ negatively since they desire a connection with people

The ENFJ personality type is very receptive to the needs of the people around them. Consequently, they might be aware of how their actions might affect another person. If they sense that someone might not respond well to them, some ENFJ persons might be too shy to initiate a conversation in such a situation. However, if they are confident of the other person showing interest, they will be confident in their approach. In such circumstances, they are very expressive, confident, and put forth their thoughts with articulation.

The naturally caring ENFJ can be taken advantage of sometimes. Even as children, they are likely to put the needs of others before their own. They will not veer away from offering help and support when needed. However, this makes them susceptible to being hurt by others frequently. Growing up, they tend to take adopt a more reserved stance as a means to avoid being hurt. Sometimes, they might hesitate to be their usual outgoing self for the fear of being hurt by people.

The ENFJ person craves social interaction. It forms a central aspect of their personality. As mentioned earlier, in a room full of people, the ENFJ person is most likely to initiate a conversation with everyone. However, they might not always be confident in initiating a conversation. This is especially more when they might be romantically interested in a person. In such situations, they also prefer people approaching them, as opposed to being the ones making the first move every time.

ENFJ and Romantic Relationships

For the ENFJ person, a relationship is an important part of their life. They see it as an opportunity to learn about themselves and grow as individuals. It is a serious deal! When they are truly interested in someone, the ENFJ person is likely to be in it for the long haul. They are not the most suitable candidate for a casual relationship. Although, the ENFJ person might, at some point dip their feet in the pool of casual relationships. However, for the ENFJ, being in a committed relationship brings them great joy. They often find a sense of comfort knowing they have found a home in a person. They will encourage their partners to pursue their goals.

In a relationship, the ENFJ person is likely to be a dependable and trustworthy partner. The ENFJ person will be very receptive to the feelings and needs of their partner. They will make an effort to keep tabs on the health of the relationship. In the process of doing so, they might constantly ask their partner about their feelings and needs. They tend to initiate conversations about the relationship frequently. This is done as a means to avoid any conflict. However, in the process of doing so, they may come across as overbearing or clingy.

The ENFJ person derives great satisfaction from seeing their partner happy. Often times, their own happiness will be based on how their partner is doing. They want their partner to express their appreciation for them. This also adds to their happiness. If their partner is in distress, the ENFJ person will go out of their way to help and support them. The ENFJ person makes for a very encouraging partner. They will readily motivate their partner to pursue their dreams. They will support them in whatever way they can. Seeing their partner’s dreams translate into reality brings the ENFJ person joy. However, they may tend to be overly focused on their partner’s needs. In the process of ensuring their partner is satisfied, they may neglect their own needs.

For the ENFJ person, conflict often turns out to be a highly dreaded territory. Their natural tendency enables them to strive for peace and harmony in situations. They dislike conflict. In relationships, conflicts are bound to arise. In such situations, the ENFJ person is likely to sweep the issue under the carpet. They might give in to the situation, by ignoring their own opinions and values, only for the sake of peace.

The ENFJ person tends to put their heart and soul into the relationship. Often, their investment in the relationship might appear to more than that of the partner. If they feel their efforts are not being reciprocated adequately, the ENFJ person might experience resentment. This can have an adverse effect on the relationship. If the relationship ends under such circumstances, the ENF person might feel betrayed.

If their partners make an effort to understand their needs, reciprocating efficiently, the ENFJ person is likely to be satisfied. They want their partners to appreciate and value the effort they are putting into the relationship. With this, they are likely to have a meaningful and passionate relationship. When it comes to their intimate life, the ENFJ person will prefer routine over spontaneity. However, they will give utmost importance to satisfying their partners.

ENFJ Personality Type – Strengths

Individuals belonging to this personality type are adept at ensuring peace and harmony in a situation. They are master peace-keepers!

They are known for their confident communication style. They are able to put their thoughts into words with great ease. They can converse proficiently in diverse settings; from small crowds to larger gatherings.

The ENFJ person is great at persuading people. They are able to get people to do what they want them to. However, the ENFJ intention is not manipulation or personal gain. It is generally to benefit people or help them notice their potential.

ENFJ individuals make for great leaders. they can motivate people. They thrive in situations that allow them to work towards implementing change in society. they have a beautiful way while engaging with people. Their personalities are replete with a sense of idealism that allows them to see the potential in people around them.

ENFJ Personality Type – Weaknesses

They can be very selfless. So much so, that they lose sight of their own needs and desires. They tend to prioritize others over themselves.

The ENFJ person finds trouble saying “no”. They tend to say “yes” to every situation that comes their way. This is partly due to their openness to the many opportunities that life has to offer. However, in the process of over-committing, they end up with more than they can handle. They end up starting tasks without being able to finish all of them.

The ENFJ person may find it hard to make decisions that require them to leave their heart out. They struggle with impersonal reasoning.

If you’re facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.


In this blog, we answered the question: Are ENFJs Shy?. We also delved into understanding other interesting aspects of the ENFJ personality type. We looked at the ENFJ personality type with respect to romantic relationships, and their strengths and weaknesses.

Frequently Asked Questions: Are ENFJs Shy?

Why are ENFJs weird?

The ENFJ person is often drawn to things, situations and experiences which are unusual and strange. Due to this, people might label them weird (

What are ENFJ attracted to ?

The ENFJ person is drawn to a person who is confident and carries themselves with a sense of sureness. This mysterious demeanour is very appealing to the ENFJ personality type (

What makes ENFJ sad?

According to, the ENFJ person becomes sad when they feel they aren’t meeting others needs. They feel sad when people close to them are in distress and they are unable to help them. Additionally, the ENFJ person always strives to see the best in other people. They feel sad when others don’t do so. 

How do ENFJs show love?

The ENFJ person shows they care by acts of service towards the partner, having long conversations about the partner’s need and wants. Their highly emotionally intelligent self allows them to have open conversations with their partners about how they feel (


The Ways in Which Shyness Affects You, Based on Your Personality Type

15 ENFJs Explain The One Thing They Wish Others Understood About Their Personality


If You Have These 13 Characteristics, You Belong To The Most Giving Personality Type

Was this helpful?

Thanks for your feedback!