ISTJ relationship with ENFP (+5 tips)

This blog will discuss the viability of a relationship between an ENFP and ISTJ. it will further outline the differences between the two personalities to sharpen our understanding of the behavior of both personalities.

What is the Viability of a relationship between an ISTJ and ENFP?

The following are the key areas of a successful relationship:

  • Communication
  • Showing affection
  • Organization
  • Feeler and Thinker
  • Extrovert and Introvert
  • Sensing vs Intuition


The ISTJ and ENFP have two different styles of communication which can result in contention. 

The ISTJ is a straight talker who is blunt and precise. They communicate facts backed by evidence. They are not good at sugar coating information so they may hurt the feelings of the sensitive ENFP.

The ENFP has a wide and extensive imagination. They often go on and on about their grand ideas which may overwhelm the ISTJ.

The ENFP is an extrovert and as a result, they are driven to socialize and be talkative. They may therefore overwhelm the ISTJ with non-stop chatting.

Showing affection

Because ISTJs are not verbally expressive people, they rarely show affection with their words. Once they commit and proclaim their love, they see no need to repeat themselves.

They believe that their partners should just know they are loved and express their feelings by being responsible partners who do things for them.

The ENFP is an emotional person who needs constant love and attention. They are too high maintenance for the ISTJ in this regard and will only overwhelm them with outbursts and demands for love.


ENFPs are great idea generators, but they rarely follow through. They end up talking a lot but doing very little.

ISTJs find this ENFP trait very frustrating because they feel overwhelmed by all the options and ideas that ENFPs throw at them, and there isn’t any tangible result at the end.

ISTJs think that leisure must be earned and that fun activities can only take place after their work is done. ENFPs are the opposite. They prioritize having fun and not work.

ENFPs often don’t perform their essential duties and procrastinate a lot while pursuing their numerous interests.

This, of course, may lead to frequent conflicts between the two partners. The ISTJ will be perpetually annoyed by the lack of seriousness on the part of the ENFP and will be driven to nag them. 

The ISTJ’s nagging will cause the ENFP to get annoyed and possibly quit the relationship.

Messy vs orderly

The ISTJ always maintains a neat and orderly environment. They take good care of their possessions and want to live in a neat and organized home.

As a result, they are typically demanding of their spouses and expect them to do the chores assigned to them and generally live on a schedule.

ENFPs, however, prioritize comfort more than getting organized, which may sometimes result in a messy home. ENFPs cannot work unless they feel inspired to do so.

They are not big on schedules and so they also want to sleep and wake up whenever they want. The same goes for other daily activities such as eating and working.

The ISTJ’s attempts to control them or blame them for being messy will make them very unhappy.

ENFPs are always late, full of apologies and promises to do better in the future. But to ISTJs who value time, being late is a very irresponsible thing to do.

Feeler and Thinker

ENFPs have the feeling function which makes them emotionally sensitive. They are warm and loving but they are desperate for other people’s love and support.

They want to feel loved and appreciated. To get love and appreciation from other people, they give love to everyone around them. They give out strokes to others in hopes of getting strokes in return.

But the ISTJ is a Thinker and so they are emotionally detached individuals.  They are not very affectionate or romantic and may not be able to adequately support the ENFP emotionally.

Extrovert and Introvert

The ISTJ is an introvert and so they need to have some quiet time at home to rest and recharge. On the other hand, the ENFP enjoys heading out for social activities and other highly stimulating activities to get energized. 

This difference in preference would be an issue of contention in the relationship.

Sensing  vs Intuition

Because they are sensors, ISTJs are more focused on the present. They do not plan so much for the future or bother about it.

The ENFPs are intuitive and so they concentrate on the future. They are always thinking ahead and planning for the future. They are not so in touch with their present.

This may deprive a couple of shared goals and a common future to look forward to. Eventually, the couple will not have any chemistry.

Differences between the ISTJ and ENFP

The following are the major differences in behavior between the ISTJ and ENFP:

  • The ENFP is a flexible and adaptable type, while the ISTJ is somewhat rigid.
  • ISTJs are planners and can’t imagine life without their to-do list, but ENFPs can’t stick to a schedule even if they try.
  • The ENFP does things randomly while the ISTJ cannot function without his or her to-do list.
  • The ENFP is relaxed and takes time to play and have fun while the ISTJ doesn’t know how to relax and play.
  • The ENFP likes to be around people, making new friends, and socializing while the ISTJ is picky with his or her friends. ISTJs get drained by too many social interactions and they generally prefer to be alone.
  • ENFPs are always young at heart while ISTJs are mature even as children.


This blog discussed the viability of a relationship between an ENFP and ISTJ. It further outlined the differences between the two personalities to sharpen our understanding of the behavior of both personalities.

The following are the key areas of a successful relationship:

  • Communication
  • Showing affection
  • Organization
  • Feeler and Thinker
  • Extrovert and Introvert
  • Sensing vs Intuition

We hope this blog was able to offer some clarity. Let us know in the comment section below.

Frequently Asked Questions: ISTJ relationship with ENFP

Who Should an ENFP marry?

The most compatible personality types for ENFP are INTJ and INFJ. When it comes to dating and marriage, people are attracted to a partner who is strong in areas that they are weak. 

Who should ISTJ marry?

The ISTJ’s natural partner is the ESFP or the ESTP. ISTJ’s dominant function of Introverted Sensing is best matched with a partner whose personality is dominated by Extraverted Sensing.

Are ENFP and ISFJ compatible?

Yes, ENFPs and ISFJs are compatible because ISFJs can help ENFPs to prioritize their physical needs and create consistent routines. Additionally,  ENFPs can help ISFJs to pursue their dreams and explore their more quirky, imaginative side.

What do ISTJ hate?

ISTJs hate the following things:

Time wasters
Dirty and messy people
Breaking the rules
Emotional people

Are ISTJs smart?

Yes, ISTJs are the most intelligent of all the Sensors. 

Are ISTJs good at math?

Yes, ISTJs are good at mathematics. They excel at all types of mathematics, but specifically calculus, geometry, and algebra. 


Clawson J, G, (2008), ‘Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, Retrieved from 

Raya A. Jones, (2013), ‘Jung’s “Psychology with the Psyche” and the Behavioral Sciences’, Behavioral Science (Basel).  Published online 18/07/2013. doi: 10.3390/bs3030408

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