This article will explain how an enneagram type 4 can work on their self improvement in order to reach a better version of themselves! The article will also provide a brief introduction to this type and explain why it is necessary for them to work on their personality by highlighting their ‘dark side’!
How Can An Enneagram Type 4 Work On Self Improvement?
The enneagram type 4 can work on their self improvement by focusing on the following 5 areas that they can inculcate into their daily routines:
- Think objectively
- Stay in the present
- Be productive
- Avoid lengthy conversations in imagination
- Self Discipline.
Let us take a look at who a type 4 enneagram is and what it is about their bad personality traits that makes it so important for them to work on their self improvement.
Who Is A Type 4 Enneagram?
They are also known as the individualist because of their desire to be self-sufficient and do things on their own terms. Being dramatic innately, expressive and and sensitive describes them very well. Such individuals are very honest, creative and remain reserved and personal however they do long to connect with others. What prevents this? Their fear of being vulnerable or abandoned hence they tend to keep a distance.
Another highlighting feature of such personalities is that they dislike the ordinary lifestyles people have most probably because they feel they cannot achieve something like this in their life.
Type 4 enneagrams are confused about who they really are or what beliefs and values define them. They fear not having an identity or self worth. They feel as though they are not benefitting society and have no place in it. Such individuals become a victim of self pity and self indulgence and want to stay inside their thoughts.
If you’re facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.
Their basic desire stems from their fear; they want to discover themself and hence possess an identity. They want to be known for who they are and be visible in the eyes of others so maybe they can connect with them and experience the life of the ordinary and live the dream they imagine.
What Is The Dark Side Of Type 4 Enneagrams?
These enneagrams can become very toxic to themselves if left alone for too long. They fear that they will never develop a self identity with which they can understand themselves. However, they always feel as if something is missing from their life which they can’t seem to pinpoint. The type 4 enneagram is brutally honest with himself or herself; they accept feelings, thoughts, pain and fear which they experience. Hence they are often more equipped to go through experiences others may break during.
When their fears become too much, they can adopt the path of self destruction and engage in habits of excessive alcohol consumption, drugs, reckless sexual behavior and in the worst cases suicide.
The type 4 also experiences very negative thoughts. They become extremely pessimistic and torment themselves with their thoughts to the extent that they view themself with hatred and dissent. They will try to drive away anyone who tries to help them.
Even when they are not at their worst, these individuals have the habit of internalizing what they feel to the extent that they become self absorbed and detached from their surroundings. They begin to think they are different from others, perhaps a coping mechanism, and dislike the ordinary life they pursue such as having friends, getting married and having kinds and generally having hope from life and looking forward to important events.
As you now realize, the type 4 enneagram can become extremely self destructive if they do not take care of themselves. This is why they need to work on their behavior and thoughts so they can become a better version of themselves! The next section of the article will mention the five areas where type 4 enneagrams can work on self improvement!
How Can An Enneagram Type 4 Work On Self Improvement?
It is important not to experience everything in terms of what one feels. Enneagram type 4s must realize that their feelings may deceive them at times so they must look at the real picture. If they feel extremely down they need to look at the achievements they have accomplished over time. If they feel too distant from others they must remind themselves that they possess similarities; other people also experience negative feelings but overcome them so they should too! If someone tries to help them then they should focus on their effort rather than their own feelings.
It is important for the type 4 enneagram to rationalize things only then can they escape their negative thoughts and feelings. They need to be their own therapists who challenge their own thoughts by asking confrontational questions, evaluating their feelings in terms of what really is going around them and try to see the positive in things.
Stay In The Present.
Type 4 enneagrams have the habit of dwelling in the past. Why? Once they are in their dark phase, the past is what helps them reinforce the negative feelings that leads to self destruction. They focus on how people hurt them, what mistakes they made and how they let their own self down. They also tend to perceive present events in light of what has gone on before thus not giving people chances to help them because they already know what is going to happen. It is not their past that dictates their present but their persistence that what happened will happen again. This negative thought often leads them to behave in ways that reinforce past happenings.
These individuals need to focus on the now so that they can let go of their past and the haunting memories and try to lead a new and better life. They not only need to give others a chance but their own self too!
Be Productive – It Helps Keep Focus.
The type 4 enneagram is surrounded by disturbing thoughts, feelings and negative views about their own self. This leads to low self esteem and a bad self image. How can they break out of this cycle and feel good about their own self? They must be productive and be useful to others.
People with this personality type can lead a healthier lifestyle and set simple goals for their own self which may include healthier eating, more exercise, learning something new everyday and doing one thing daily that they like. This will not only prove to them that they can be productive but it will help them feel good about themselves.
Another way to feel productive and avoid the cycle of negative thoughts is to help others. It will bring an innate feeling of satisfaction and it will also help the individualist realize that not only do they suffer; there are people who are homeless, live alone, don’t have a job or sleep hungry every night!
Avoid Lengthy Conversations In Your Imagination.
Type 4 enneagrams have the habit of imagining themselves in a state of self pity and talking to others that may arouse feelings of disappointment, self hate and sadness. They need to think less about such things and focus on the present rather than the past. They must learn how to think about positive things. They can learn self help exercises such as writing 5 things they are thankful for every day to encourage good thoughts.
Change only comes when you focus both on your thoughts and behavior. Oftentimes the type 4 enneagram engages in self destructive behaviour. In order to improve themselves, they must impose limits on what they do!
This article took a look at how the type 4 enneagram can improve their own self by working on five major areas. Also, the article provided an introduction to this personality type and apprised the audience as to why it is necessary to focus on self improvement.
Frequently Asked Questions: Enneagram Type 4 & Self Improvement.
How can I improve my enneagram level 4?
You can improve your enneagram level 4 by being productive, volunteering and being self disciplined.
Why do enneagram type 4s go into stress?
Enneagram type 4s go into stress because they have an innate fear that they will not be able to live the life others have or that that they dream of.
Who should an enneagram type 4 marry?
An enneagram type four should marry type fours, fives or sevens.