Enneagram Do’s & Don’ts (A Complete Guide)

This article will take a look at what enneagrams should do or should not do to ensure they improve their own selves and avoid a deterioration of their own selves. The article will point out tips for each enneagram type.

Enneagram Dos’ & Don’ts – A Piece Of Advice To Take Or Leave

There are certain do’s and don’ts for each enneagram type that are based on their personality traits, fears and desires to ensure they grow and do not deteriorate into a bad version of themselves.

In this article, we will highlight what each enneagram should do to ensure they grow into a better version of themselves and so that they can avoid or recover from stress. Furthermore, the article will also list what each enneagram should abstain from so they do not fall into the darker side of their personality.

Let us take a look at each enneagram now and what they should and should not do!

Enneagram Type 1

The enneagram type 1 is also known as the Reformer because of their desire to change the world for the better – they believe they are on a mission to set things right! They are rational and idealistic and can be described by the terms self disciplined, purposeful, possibly perfectionists and hold values high.

Do’s

  • Learn to accept beauty in the flaws
  • Practice meditation
  • Set realistic and practical goals

It is important to understand there is some good in everything with some exceptions of course! Even in the mistakes we make there is something we can learn from! When we experiment and end up with different outcomes from the goal we learn about new phenomena, ideas and methods to do different things which will help us widen our horizon and things in creative ways when required.

From the sections above, the readers must have realized that the one issue with type 1s is how they think and process their thoughts, feelings and desires. They are in a constant battle with themselves not to mention they think in a negative way. This can cause them anxiety especially if they keep focusing on how they are not meeting their goals in the perfect way they imagined.

The goal of achieving true success is when you choose the right journey. It is not only the outcome that matters but the journey as well because that is indeed what shapes you. It is important that type 1 enneagrams look towards long term success which is not in bouts but is consistent. This is only possible if they set realistic goals that can be achieved. It will make it easier for others to stay with type 1s in their journeys.

The best way to do this is by taking input from their partners before they declare a worthy objective! Set SMART goals.

Don’ts

  • Don’t let your anger get the best of you
  • Don’t ignore your emotions – let them flow
  • Stop judging people based on what you see or hear

Enneagram Type 2?

An enneagram type 2 is also known as the Helper because of their desire to help others and make their tasks easier or remove any burden upon them.  They are very caring and have great interpersonal skills that allow them to interact with people to help them and understand their situation and needs. Personality traits used to describe type 2s include possessive, demonstrative, helpful and people pleasing.

Do’s

  • Prioritize your needs
  • Take help from others
  • Value yourself

It is very important for enneagram type 2s to not only recognize their own needs but fulfill them too. Our body has certain rights over us that we must tend to whether they are related to hunger, thirst, sex, rest or exercise. We must strive to fulfill these needs in the right way to ensure our physical and mental health remains ideal. Oftentimes type 2 enneagrams overlook their own needs and this causes them to deteriorate slowly in both spheres.

Sometimes the type 2 enneagram needs to realize that others also have the resources to help them. They are not the only ones who seem to have the ability to help others. This thought process will instill a sense of humility and appreciation for others. Furthermore, accepting this reality will allow type 2s to take help from others and they will be able to experience how it feels like to be able to allow others to grow by helping. This in its way is therapeutic!

The type 2 enneagram must be honest to himself! Is he helping the other person because they really need help or because he is looking for a way to feel good about himself and find an opportunity to be in a position of higher status? Helping others indeed makes one feel good about their own self but that should not be the purpose.

Don’t’s

  • Don’t let your anger boil over you
  • Don’t overthink – unnecessary suspicion is unhealthy
  • Think before you speak

Enneagram Type 3

A type 3 enneagram is also called the ‘Achiever’ because of their desire that drives them to accomplish the big things in life. They are very hard working; putting in much time and energy in their work in order to achieve the success they desire!

Do’s

  • Be honest
  • Take short breaks
  • Give charity

The achiever is obsessed with pleasing others and overlooks what they feel is important or desirable. As time passes they lose touch with their inner selves and develop the habit of ignoring what it is that they themselves desire. This happens because they focus on what others want or what they consider to be the definition of success or true bravery!

Like we said, the achiever is extremely competitive to the extent that they immerse themselves in their work and forget about many important tasks like spending time with family! They will involve all their energies and resources into what it is that they do so they can achieve the results they desire. Type 3 enneagrams need to stop and take a break.

Type 3 enneagrams need to realize that everything is not about them! Also, they don’t have to flaunt whatever good they do. Sometimes it is very healthy for the mind to help others and not show off.  That is the true meaning of humanitarian work. This will not only make them realize that they need to help others and put their needs first but will also allow them to develop the habit of working quietly without exhibiting their accomplishments!

Don’ts

  • Do not numb yourself out
  • Do not withdraw
  • Do not stop working hard

Enneagram Type 4

They are also known as the individualist because of their desire to be self-sufficient and do things on their own terms. Being dramatic innately, expressive and sensitive describes them very well. Such individuals are very honest, creative and remain reserved and personal however they do long to connect with others. What prevents this? Their fear of being vulnerable or abandoned hence they tend to keep a distance. 

Do’s

  • Think objectively
  • Stay in the present
  • Be logical

It is important not to experience everything in terms of what one feels. It is important for the type 4 enneagram to rationalize things only then can they escape their negative thoughts and feelings. They need to be their own therapists who challenge their own thoughts by asking confrontational questions, evaluating their feelings in terms of what really is going around them and try to see the positive in things.

Type 4 enneagrams have the habit of dwelling in the past. Why? Once they are in their dark phase, the past is what helps them reinforce the negative feelings that lead to self destruction. They focus on how people hurt them, what mistakes they made and how they let their own self down. 

The type 4 enneagram is surrounded by disturbing thoughts, feelings and negative views about oneself. This leads to low self esteem and a bad self image. How can they break out of this cycle and feel good about themselves? They must be productive and be useful to others. 

Don’ts

  • Don’t let your feelings take you over
  • Don’t forget to think things rationally
  • Don’t overthink – avoid having lengthy conversations in your heard

Enneagram Type 5

These individuals are very much interested in learning things that are relevant to their area of interest. They will investigate its elements and try to gather as much information as they can! The enneagram type 5 is alert, innovative but secretive at the same time.

People with this enneagram type have the ability to build complex ideas and skills; this is possible only because of their focus on the specific area they are working within and their dedication to master it.

Do’s

  • Think Less, Work More
  • Fact Check
  • Small Steps In Planning

To stay healthy, this type should focus on staying practical and hence not getting lost in their thoughts. In case they do come across something controversial, they must get their facts correct. Lastly, they should not aim to accomplish things in one go but take baby steps.

Don’ts

  • Do not hold knowledge to yourself – spread it
  • Do not ignore your thoughts – challenge them
  • Do not blindly believe

Enneagram Type 6

A type 6 enneagram is also known as the loyalist because of their traits that include commitment and engaging with others and willing to fulfill their promises. These individuals are very hard working as well as reliable and people that can be countered. They believe in being there for others, especially their loved ones.

Do’s

  • Learn New Things
  • Regulate Emotions
  • Remain Aware of Thoughts

The type 6 should always focus on  learning new things to keep them busy and productive as well as ensure that they regulate their emotions and understand them. 

Don’ts

  • Do not be too suspicious
  • Don’t think of the worst
  • Don’t let your feelings blind you

Enneagram Type 7

These individuals are versatile and spontaneous! They have a lot of energy in them and they like to be in high spirits! However, by continuously working themselves out, they can get tired and become exhausted and hence lose focus. They will become distracted and lose track of the goal they had in mind. It is obvious then that they have problems with impulsiveness and impatience.

Do’s

  • Try to focus on one thing at a time
  • Start something then finish it
  • Follow a routine

Don’ts

  • Don’t always focus on gratification
  • Do not run away from responsibilities
  • Do not force others to be like you

Enneagram Type 8

This enneagram type can be described as confident, confrontational, decisive and assertive as well. They do not hesitate to voice out their opinions or take a stand for what they firmly believe in. Furthermore, these individuals are focused on what they want and will not stop at anything when it comes to achieving their goals or desires.

Do’s

  • Be accommodating
  • Make others feel comfortable around you
  • Speak wisely

Don’ts

  • Do not always choose confrontation
  • Do not intimidate others to get what you need
  • Do not push others to do things as you like

Enneagram Type 9

These personalities just want everything to be okay! They desire peace and justice and will do absolutely anything to obtain this. They avoid conflict at any cost and will prefer to stay far away from it due to the suffering and pain it causes as well as the unproductive outcomes that accompany it.

Do’s

  • Learn to stand up for your values
  • Take initiatives – call out what is wrong
  • Focus on the root problem

Don’ts

  • Don’t always try to solve problems the easy way
  • Do not run away from difficult situations

Conclusion

This article took a look at what each enneagram type should or should not do keeping in mind their personality type, fears, desires and major characteristics.

References

https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/
[Sassy_Social_Share type="standard"]