Enneagram 5w4 Relationships (A complete guide)

In this brief guide, we will look at enneagram 5w4 relationships, as well as other details of the 5w4 personality type. We will also look at some other concepts about enneagram like enneagram test and Enneagram type 5 in love.

Enneagram 5w4 Relationships

The 5w4 relationships may be concerned with discovery and knowledge as other parts of their life, as the enneagram 5w4 cares most about knowledge and wisdom, though in a relationship these individuals might often be devoted and attentive towards their partner.

An enneagram 5w4 relationship will be punctuated by their desire to know everything about their partner, which will usually make them keen and curious, and while some people might like this, some people may find them too curious and investigative and this may put them off.

5w4 relationships are by no means a priority to these people and even though they like people just fine, they may not like very much to hang around someone and do affectionate things and so on, and they may not be inclined to wait on someone or show too much love in a conventional manner.

5w4 relationships may be full of gestures, however, and they might want to do things for someone or use the wisdom they have gained to help them when they need it and often they will want to include their partner on their journey to whatever they are currently interested in studying and their partner needs to see this as a great honor because this is the most amazing thing these people can offer.

While the wing 4 makes the 5w4 quite emotional, they may still not be too emotional, like the type 2 for instance, but when they love someone or are in a relationship with them, they may think about them a lot sometimes even more than the great mysteries of life, and they will definitely prioritize them over others.

5w4 relationships may also display a very strong need for boundaries but sometimes they may be willing to cut some slack for the one person they love the most, and they might be much more flexible and adaptable, and they may also be more willing to do things they ordinarily would never even consider.

The enneagram 5w4 relationship that involves true love may even see them change their schedules or even the quest for the wisdom they are constantly on, to make time for the person they love.

Enneagram 5w4: Features

5w4 is a personality type that stands for Type 5 with a wing on type 4, or simply 5 wing 4, and in this personality type one might find the core traits of the type 5 and some traits of type 4.

Enneagram 5w4 is also known as the Philosopher, because at the crux of this personality are type 5 traits like investigating and observing and a healthy drive to attain knowledge, and they may always be trying to find the answers to both the abstract and the real world.

The enneagram 5w4 personality is full of the ability to introspect and they have an innate capacity to ponder the great mysteries of both self and the world.

The 5w4 will identify most with 5, but they definitely share traits with type fours, which makes the individual curious, creative, and reserved, but they may at the same time be introverted and deeply emotional as well.

5w4 may have a tendency to be alone so they may reflect and recharge, but in a twist they may also be very emotional and artistically self-expressive than other fives, who tend to be more rational and pragmatic in their quest for knowledge and wisdom, and they may also not fit the type 4s, which may be shy or withdrawn.

Type fives with a four wing has a basic fear similar to that of enneagram type 5, that is, being helpless and incompetent and not knowing enough or being caught without their knowledge in some way.

The unhealthy enneagram 5w4 may overcompensate to get over this basic fear by spending their time developing new knowledge and skills to feel useful and worthy and sometimes these individuals may even ignore the more practical, real-world needs in the process.

The basic desire of the five wing four is to feel helpful and able, and find out as much as they can about the things that exist both inside and outside them.

The enneagram 5w4 desires more than anything to pursue knowledge and gain an understanding of the world, and they may do so rather passionately, even trying to seek people to see what they might learn from them.

The enneagram 5w4 may also guard themselves against any possible accusations of being incompetent or not being good enough by withdrawing from the world and being by themselves while they introspect on these very fears, which may sometimes get them into troubled waters.

The enneagram 5w4 has a tendency to be guarded or withdrawn from others, which expresses itself in their preference for isolation in weak moments, which may sometimes make 5w4 relationships rather strained.

This personality type is all about seeking new skills and knowledge and their tendency to explore new environments is unparalleled.

Enneagram 5w4 Characters

Given below is a list of some of the best enneagram 5w4 characters from fiction:

  •  L from D-Note
  • Alex from Modern Family
  • Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter)
  • Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds
  • Howard Roarke from the Fountainhead 
  • Shallon from Way of the Kings book series 
  • Agent Mulder from X files
  • Elphaba from Wicked
  • Daniel Jackson from Stargate
  • Peter Parker (Spiderman) in the comics 
  • Ford from Gravity Falls

Enneagram 5 in Love

An enneagram 5 in love tends to be someone who is very creative and passionate about displaying their affections, and they may struggle with the actual emotionally expressive aspects of the relationship.

The enneagram 5 in love may be just as focused on information and on logically understanding things that they may forget that there is more to love than trying to solve the mystery of how and why.

The enneagram 5 in love may try to understand the partner as well, and while that can be really nice sometimes, to be the center of such attention, it can get quite exhausting after a while when the person just won’t show emotions in a more direct manner. 

Just because the enneagram 5 in love can’t show their love doesn’t mean they do not feel things deeply, it is just that they find it so much easier to focus on the knowledge aspect of their connection. 

Because of their basic fears and desires, the main thing an enneagram 5 is concerned about is being seen as capable and according to their logic, someone who is caught up in feelings won’t be seen as capable, which is why they prefer to focus on their inner minds and intellectual practices.

While this is a great strategy in the real world, an enneagram 5 in love may quickly find there is little place for intellectual pursuits in a romantic relationship and while they can rely on their traits like loyalty, creativity and problem-solving abilities, sometimes they may need to let go and be emotional even if they think of it as weak.

Enneagram Test

The first enneagram test was made by Don Riso and Russ Hudson after they had theorized about the presence of levels of development in a personality and accounted for the possibilities of growth or disintegration in the personality types.

Their test came to be known as the Riso-Hudson Enneagram Type Indicator (RHETI), and they recommend taking another supplementary test after someone has taken this one, and this other test is known as the Instinctual Variants Questionnaire, which helps to further refine the understanding of the Enneagram subtypes and centers.

Other tests for enneagram personality types also exist online, but one has to keep in mind that these tests are not validated as carefully as the original tests, and may therefore not provide the absolute true data.


In this brief guide, we looked at enneagram 5w4 relationships, as well as other details of the 5w4 personality type. We also looked at some other concepts about enneagram like enneagram test and Enneagram type 5 in love.

The enneagram type 5 and 5w4 personalities are both intensely investigative and thinking oriented personalities, which means that they are unlikely to want to be with someone that they don’t relate to on an intellectual level.

These personality types may find that they relate much more to people who like to think and seek knowledge and care about significant things, and this is evident in the way they get along with the thinking oriented personality types.

If you have any questions or comments about the enneagram 5w4 relationships or other things about this personality, please feel free to reach out to us.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs): Enneagram 5w4 Relationships

What Enneagram types go best together?

The enneagram types that go best together are type 3 and type 1 and type 6 and type 8.

Which Enneagram type is most rare?

The enneagram type that is most rare is type 4 the individualist and type 8 the challenger. Along with these types, enneagram type 5 and type 2 are also considered somewhat rare.

What does Enneagram 5w4 mean?

Enneagram 5w4 contains the characteristics of both enneagram Type 4 and Type 5, and in 5w4, the type 5 traits are the core type. 

People of the enneagram 5w4 personality type can be somewhat withdrawn and individualistic, but the wing 4 traits may also make them slightly more emotional and self-revealing and this personality type may be prone to some intense emotions.

How do you make an Enneagram 5 feel loved?

To make an Enneagram 5 feel loved, you can do things like the following:

Try to get them new and interesting insights to problems and theories they may be pondering, as they appreciate a true intellectual match.
Provide them a place where they can let their guard down and share things, as they are usually deeply personal.
Witty and well-thought out gifts and cards.
Give them plenty of space to learn and grow together.
Try to provide them with an easy and comfortable feeling of familiarity.

What Enneagram should a 2 marry?

Enneagram type 2 should marry someone that needs their grounding and affectionate abilities most, like type 3 or type 8, as these individuals might need the grounded approach of the type 2 and the affection they show their partners.

When an enneagram type 2 marries a type 3, they may get along very well because they share similar interests, energy levels, and charisma, and this may often be a beru high-energy match.

How do you make an Enneagram 9 feel loved?

Here is how you can make an Enneagram 9 feel loved:

Try not to take their critical or judgmental attitude too personally and try to show them you accept them.
Try to create rapport with them, and try to respect their integrity and take things seriously.
Try to avoid Making agreements or promises with them that you may not be able to keep
Try not to ignore traditional good manners.
Try to work with them towards seeing how things can be improved.


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