Nobody likes me (+How depression causes you to think that)

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This article will explain why people that are depressed usually have the notion that people don’t like them. Through that, the article will show how the mind of a person that is depressed is constantly focusing on the negative, and how this is also influenced by their low self-esteem.

Aside from that, the article will explain how people that are depressed can open themselves up to others, and put in question this line of thought.

Why does depression make it seem like nobody likes me?

Depression can easily make you feel like nobody likes you. This mental illness, which affects so many people worldwide, causes you to have a more negative view of the world and yourself. 

It causes you to think you are not worthy of anything, even having people around you that care for you. It has a huge impact on your self-esteem and your self-worth. When you are depressed you tend to see yourself as expendable, someone people will not be interested in.

Along with that, depression causes you to isolate yourself, it can be a way of protecting others and yourself, but that can make it harder for people to try to be around you. 

You may have a whole support system, friends, and family that want to be near you, and help you in going through this, but when you are depressed, you might not see it, or let them in.

In knowing this, it is possible to say that depression can make it harder for you to keep your relationships positive.  That is why it is so important to look for treatment as soon as you can. And although treatment can take some time to make you feel better, knowing you are on that path is something to be hopeful about.

In what other ways is depression impacting my relationships?

Depression is a condition that takes the color out of your world. It turns everything into black and white. You lose your ability to feel joy, and interest in things you used to love. This can make it extremely hard to be around people.

Just imagine you are with your friends, and they are talking about something all of you love, but now that you are depressed, this seems uninteresting, and you hardly have anything to say on the topic. This can make you feel like you don’t belong there anymore, or that your friends would be better off without you.

What can leave you feeling ashamed and guilty for not being a good person, and a good friend. Causing you to distance yourself even more. Depression also makes you have less energy and the ability to focus, so being around people can become harder for you.

It can be harder to keep up with the conversation since you might be thinking a little slower, and sometimes even doing simple things, such as getting out of bed can be an ordeal for you. With that, having a schedule to see people, can be impossible to keep.

You can start to skip school, or events with your friends because you don’t feel good that day, distancing yourself from them even more. All of this, in time, can cause negative effects on your relationships. 

And it is not that nobody likes you anymore, it is just that you might feel like you don’t deserve to be liked by anyone. Causing you to retreat and not want to be around people anymore. 

But is it only depression that makes you think nobody likes you?

No, it is not only people that are depressed that can feel like people don’t like them. When a person experiences many rejections in their life, they can start to think that people don’t like them. In those situations, it can be a defense mechanism.

People had been hurt so much before, that they don’t want to keep their hopes up. It might also be that you have a harder time connecting to people. This can be because you are shy, or of your social skills, but that trouble connecting can make it seem like people don’t like you.

You can start to think people don’t like you because you have been told that many times. It could be that a bully, an abusive friend, or a family member has been telling you this again and again to a point you start to believe what they are saying.

But what is important in all of these situations is to try and move past the black and white mentality. It is not possible for everyone to not like you, the same way it is not possible for everyone to like you. 

You can’t please everyone, and that can be frustrating at times.  But some people around you certainly do like you, and you should hear more about what these people have to say about your qualities.

How can I change my relationship with people?

If you understand people don’t like you and have been diagnosed with depression, treatment is the way to go. It won’t magically change how you feel or make it easier to be around people, but it can be something that will help you connect to people little by little.

Here, treatment can be therapy and sometimes even medications. But it is through therapy that you will be able to speak about the troubles you are facing in your relationships, and how you feel your self-esteem and self-worth were affected by your mental illness.

It will be a process of putting those negative thoughts about yourself in check and trying to reframe your thoughts in a pattern that you are worth the care, love, and support of people around you. And hopefully, through this, it can become a little easier to let people in.

A brief word for the friends and family of people going through depression

When you are a friend or family member of someone battling depression, it can be hard to know what to do. It can leave you feeling helpless, and as they push people away, you might start to question what is left for you to do.

The key in this situation, even though it can be hard, is to make yourself present. Understand that they are going through something they didn’t choose, and they are probably pushing you away as a form of protection, they can be thinking they are protecting you and themselves by this.

So make yourself present, it can be physically or even through digital ways. But ask them how they feel, what is on their mind, and listen to it. This can help break down this wall they have been building and might make the relationship better.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): Why does depression make it seem like nobody likes me?

How can I improve my relationships if I am not depressed? 

When you feel you are having trouble making friends, or even that no one likes you, it might be important to rethink the efforts you have been making. The first thing to have in mind is that there are a lot of people in the world. Having one person that doesn’t want to be your friend is not everything. 

Find other people with similar interests that you can relate to. And as you are in touch with these new people, try to keep an open mind, don’t be judgmental. This is usually something that pushes people away. 

As you interact with them, show interest in what they are saying, be empathic and respectful. This will allow people to feel listened to by you, which makes it easier for them to connect with you. 

Have in mind that making friends is something that takes time and effort. So try, as much as it is possible to take the initiative. Invite them to meet, set plans for doing things together. With time you will feel more connected with them, and the friendship will begin to form. 

How can I battle my self-criticism?

The first thing is to understand what your self-criticism is telling you. Is it telling you are boring, or uninteresting. Write down what it says, you can first start writing using the “I”. “I am boring”, take a hard look at it, and rewrite those sentences using “you”. This will help you distance yourself from that.

Aside from that, it is important to try and understand where those critical latitudes come from. It can be related to your parent’s attitude or previous life stories. Understanding where it comes from can give you a more compassionate look at yourself.

Answering that self-critical voice is another step to take. Try to think and say positive things about yourself. Stick up to your inner voice the same way you would stick up to someone who is criticizing you. 

Have in mind how those voices affect your actions, and how once you don’t listen to them as much, you have the chance to change your behavior.

How can I improve my social skills? 

There are some ways you can improve your social skills. The first thing to consider is how you act during social interactions. Try to be positive, and don’t interrupt people when they are talking. When you speak, be polite, and be careful of the volume of your voice so it matches the situation you are in. 

You should be attentive to boundaries. Don’t overshare, and also respect other people’s space. You can improve your social skills by being in social situations often. This is often something that needs practice. A great way to do that is to find hobbies that suit you. 

Is it normal to have no friends?

It is not a rule that people should have friends. Although having them can be extremely beneficial to your health. But you should not blame yourself if you prefer to be alone. It is a fine line, wanting to isolate can be a sign of mental health issues, but no one should be forced to be around people.

The rule here is to listen to yourself and your needs and respect them. 

Does depression have a cure?

No, mental health professionals tend to say that depression goes into recession. This is because it is impossible to affirm that a person will never have another depressive episode again. 

The treatment aims to reduce the symptoms of depression and allow people to get back to their life. But also to keep mental health care, even after they feel better.

Conclusion

This article discussed how depression can have a huge impact on people’s relationships. It can even cause them to consider that no one likes them. Along with that, the article discussed ways people can put those negative thoughts in check, and how they can improve their relationships.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write it in the section below.

References

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/amp/entry/depression_uk_5cbf255ce4b0255d40bb0c3e/
https://socialpronow.com/blog/no-one-likes-me/

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