My girlfriend broke up with me because she is depressed (+What can I do)

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This article will discuss why your girlfriend, who is depressed, might have broken up with you. Along with that, the article will show how depression may affect her, and what are ways you can cope with this breakup. 

Family Counseling
Family Counseling

My girlfriend broke up with me because she is depressed

If your girlfriend is depressed, and she broke up with you, it might be important to consider how your relationship has been so far, and how their mental health was affecting the relationship.

Depression changes the way people feel and how they see the world. It could be that she broke up with you because of that, she might be having trouble relating to people. Not only that, she could be worried that she was a burden to you.

When a person is depressed, so many changes. They lose their ability to feel pleasure, they might feel empty and isolate themselves. In battling depression their self-esteem sinks, and the same happens to their sense of self-worth. 

Aside from that, they might have less energy, and have trouble focusing, which can make it hard for them to be around people.

And even though you might have been a supportive partner, she might think it is too difficult to maintain a relationship as she feels all of this. You could be the partner that was trying to help them through this, but it could be that she needs some time to focus some energy on herself, and her healing. 

What is important to keep in mind here is, once she broke up with you, you should respect her will. That doesn’t mean you should wait for her to get better. But rather you should focus on your healing, but have in mind that the break-up is not necessarily related to you.

But if you realized the relationship has been having its struggles for some time, it might be that the breakup was something that would have happened even if your girlfriend wasn’t depressed. When that is the case, even though it can be hard, it is important to look after yourself. 

Let’s discuss some ways you can cope with your breakup.

How to cope with a breakup

Allow your feeling to show 

Going through a breakup is always hard. Allow yourself to feel the sadness and even anger that can come from it. Give yourself time to grief, if you bottle your feelings up, they tend to come through more roughly.

Get some distance 

Although it might feel strange, it is important to get some distance. Don’t be in touch with them, or keep looking at their social network. This will only make you sadder or more anxious about how they are going, if they feel better than you, or if they are already over you. And this will all be answered by your imagination rather than the facts.

Be in touch with people you love 

During this time, be close to the people you love. Get in touch with your friends and family. Having them around will be a great relief, that will allow you to have people to talk to. Aside from that, it will make you feel less alone.

Open yourself to new experiences 

When you were in a relationship, you had a routine with your partner. Now is a good time for you to open yourself up to new things. It can be going on a trip or allowing yourself to try something you always wanted. All of this will rekindle the joys life can have.

Think of your future without them 

When a relationship ends, it can seem as if your life won’t have a meaning anymore. Little by little, as you cope with the pain, it will be possible to start to think about your life without them. And soon enough you will be able to think of your future without your girlfriend and make plans for yourself.

Get in touch with yourself

Rediscover who you are without this relationship. A lot of things about you may have changed during this relationship. It is always exciting to discover new things about you, and this can be helpful for you to move on.

Indulge in self-care

Exercising, eating better, or starting to meditate. All ways you can find to take better care of yourself are important now. It will help you value your individuality, and feel better about yourself. Read a good book, or watch a show you wanted. The important thing at this time is to feel like you are worth caring for.

Keep in mind what you learned

All relationships, and even breakups, leave people with lessons learned. Try to understand what this last relationship taught you, and try to look at it from a positive perspective. Chances are that what you learned in this relationship will be a great step forward for your next one.

Let go of the “what ifs” 

Keeping in mind what should have been will only prevent you from moving forward. Have that in mind and understand that what happened was what was possible back then. And if you keep holding on to it, it will be harder to imagine a life without that relationship.

Open yourself when you feel ready 

Once you are ready, try meeting other people. It shouldn’t be to be in a relationship, but it might be good to see how there are other fish in the sea. Aside from that, it can be good to feel desired.

Accept the closure you’ve got 

Sometimes people are so obsessed with getting closure that it might be serving to keep in touch. All those calls and messages might make it even harder to let go. Accept the conversation you had as closure and start your healing process.

Let go when you are ready

Little by little you may start to feel like you are letting go. Your life seems to be going back to its track, and you even have a sense of normalcy. Your energy will be directed to your well-being, and the future will seem bright.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): What can I do if my depressed girlfriend broke up with me?

Should I break up with my girlfriend that has depression? 

Your girlfriend having depression isn’t a reason for breaking up. People with depression are completely able to have a caring and compassionate relationship. What you should be aware of is if they are in treatment or willing to be in treatment.

Aside from that, keep aware of red flags, as with any other relationship. If it starts to be violent, or people your partner starts to show an inability to deal with emotions, they can be disrespectful, start to have hallucinations, and lack remorse or empathy. 

If those signs start to appear, then, considering your safety, it might be important to think about breaking up. Always keep in mind that having a mental health condition is no excuse to treat people poorly.

How do I break up with someone? 

Breaking up a relationship is never easy. But as you decide to do it, and are getting up to tell the person, try to have in mind why you are doing this. Think about what you want to say, and consider what the other person might say. 

Be honest, but don’t be brutal. Share your ideas, but be sensible with them. Always try to do it face to face. This will show you respect them and, even though you already made up your mind, you can listen to what they have to say.

When you are breaking up with someone you should never be disrespectful to them. And even though sometimes it might seem easier, don’t avoid your partner and this conversation. 

Many people might want to avoid having this talk and would rather act distant until the other person breaks up. Although you shouldn’t rush to break up before you make your decision, you shouldn’t delay it too much as well.

What I shouldn’t do after a breakup? 

After a breakup, you should avoid getting in touch with your ex in any way. This will only prevent you from healing. Along with that, try to be mature and deal with your feelings without lashing out or being impulsive. 

Try to avoid having a rebound relationship, or seek another ex. You are emotionally vulnerable at this moment, try to focus more on yourself than on having other people in your life. And although it might be easy at this point, try to not let go of yourself. It is extremely important for you to feel better about yourself at this moment.

Don’t focus too much on what if, understand you did what you could, and if the relationship ended, there was a reason for that. Along with that, don’t bottle up your feelings. Have friends and loved ones you can talk about what is going on.

And the most important thing, even though you are hurting, don’t give up on love. All relationships have trouble, and it might end. But remember how good it feels to be in love and have someone to share life with.

What are the signs my ex will come back?

Some signs will let you know that your ex might come back. The first thing is that they will do is keep tabs on your social networks. Your break-up was on the best of terms. They might be in a rebound relationship, and this means that they are having trouble getting over you.

They might be considering going back to you if they have given your belongings back, or if they call or text you when you are drunk. Along with that, they are still meeting your friends, and they call you or answer your texts quickly.

If they have only good things about you, and keep running into you. They will go back to you if they haven’t changed since the breakup, this means that they might want to go back from where you both left off. 

If it was a long-distance relationship, it might be that the relationship didn’t end of the lack of love, and this could mean that you might get back together. And lastly, if they seem unhappy to see you.

What are the stages of a breakup?

There are 5 stages of a breakup. Denial, when you have trouble believing it is real. Anger, when you feel irritated about it. Bargain, in which you may try to get back together. Depression is when the sadness about the break up hits you, and finally acceptance.

Conclusion

This article discussed why your depressed girlfriend might have broken up with you. Along with that, the article showed in what ways depression may affect her, and how you can cope with this.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write it in the section below.

References

https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/relationships-love/a28748535/what-to-do-after-breakup/
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/relationship-and-family-issues/girlfriend-broke-up-with-me-due-to-her-mental-health—struggling-to-deal-with-it

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