In this blog we will discuss some of the possible reasons as to “Why does it feel like no one cares about me”.
We will also discuss some things you can do if you feel like no one cares.
Why does it feel like no one cares about me?
It can be very distressing to experince the thought that no one cares about you and the feeling that comes with thsi kind of thoughts can be very distressing.
Let us understand why we tend to struggle with such thoughts. Some of the reasons as to why you might be feeling like no one cares about you could include:
You are making assumptions
Another dangerous reason as to why you have made the conclusion that they do not care about you is because you are making assumptions that have been negatively informed by negative beliefs.
It is very unlikely that No one in your life, not even a single person, does not care about you. This kind of thinking- “no one cares about me”- is what Cognitive psychologists call a generalisation which is a negative assumption.
Negative generalisations often tend to appear all too real ; however, it is a result of negative schemas that one builds over time and are generally not as true as one thinks.
You are misinterpreting their behaviours
You have to understand that most of what happens to us and our experiences are also impacted by the way we perceive the world.
Cognitive psychologists believe that it is not the events that cause mental distress but how we perceive these events.
It is most likely that they do care about you however, you have to understand that when we are struggling mentally- most of our thoughts and perceptions are negatively oriented.
So it is most possible that the reason why you feel alone is because you have been misinterpreting their behaviours.
It is more likely that your loved ones are busy with their own lives and their own struggles to tend to yours, however that does not mean that they do not care about you.
You are engaging in self pity
As mentioned, because you are having a hard time it is easy for one to take a victim stance and this can lead us to hold one to beliefs that one is worthless and that life is hopeless.
This attitude can impact an individual’s perceptions of almost anything in their life, including their social relationships.
You are withdrawing from your relationships
Most probably, when someone is struggling, they might choose to push other people away.
The more you do it, the more other people also realise that you either need time to yourself as a result, of which they too can pull away from you.
If you have been withdrawing from others without knowing that you have been doing so, when other people choose to withdraw from you it can cause hurt.
You are engaged in negative relationships
Another reason as to why you might be feeling like no one cares about you is probably because they don’t.
It is likely that people that you consider friends and loved ones do not care because these relationships are negative and shallow.
If you find yourself in such relationships, it is like examining them and ending negative relationships in favour of positive and supportive ones.
What to do if it feels like no one cares about you?
If you feel like no one cares about you, some of the steps that you can take include:
Examine your perception
You have to understand that most of what happens to us and our experiences are also impacted by the way we perceive the world.
Cognitive psychologists believe that it is not the events that cause mental distress but how we perceive these events.
Most of how we perceive the world and other people tends to affect us more than what actually happened. If you have been noticing that you’re feeling like no one cares about you, it is time to examine our perception of our relationships.
It is more likely that the people around you do care about you, however, negative experiences from the past can turn neutral events into negative events based on our beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world.
For example, if your friend did not pick up your calls or respond to your messages it could be because they are busy with their own life however negative beliefs can turn these very normal and mundane events into something negative.
Your negative beliefs can make it seem like your friend has intentionally rejected your calls or has decided to avoid your messages. Most of these negative beliefs are impacted by how we see ourselves.
What you can do is to change the way you view these events and instead of wallowing in negative thoughts, you can choose to take a more realistic point of view, reach out and let them know you need them.
Evaluate your behaviour
The next thing you can do is to evaluate your behaviour- have you been reaching out to let your friends and loved ones know that you are struggling or have you shunning them away.
Most probably, when someone is struggling, they might choose to push other people away.
The more you do it, the more other people also realise that you either need time to yourself as a result, of which they too can pull away from you.
If you have been withdrawing from others without knowing that you have been doing so, when other people choose to withdraw from you it can cause hurt.
You might feel as though they do not care about your pain and that you have been abandoned.
So, you’ll need to examine what you have been doing, and if you have been pushing people away, let them know what has been happening to you for the past couple of days and ask them for support.
Realise Others May Be Struggling
It is important to remember that people might not be able to offer their support when they are struggling to cope with their own problems or feelings.
Their inability to provide any internal sources to provide you the support you need does not mean that they don’t care about you; it is just that they just don’t have the emotional strength to take care of others when they are having a hard time caring for themselves.
It is important that you do not take things personally when this happens because internalising this and engaging in self blame or negative self-views can only make it worse.
Communicate
Now, you must understand that no matter how close you are with the people you love, they cannot read your mind.
One must communicate our needs to be able to feel fulfilled, supported,and satisfied in the relationship. So choose to communicate with others how you have been feeling and what you need from them.
Seek support elsewhere
If you have been struggling and have found that the people around you do not understand nor are they willing to understand, one choice that you do have is to seek support from other people.
It is challenging to accept that the people you love the most do not understand your condition but that does not mean that you remain lacking in support.
You can choose to reach out to a mental health therapist or a counsellor to help you process your feelings, your thoughts, and build plans for treatment together towards recovery.
If you’re facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.
You can also choose to seek out group support for people struggling with depression so that you can experience emotional support first hand within these communities and over time learn how to manage your challenges by learning from each other.
It is possible that people with depression can also struggle with a sense of worthlessness, a feeling that you have nothing of value to offer.
By joining a group that is open, empathetic, and growing towards healing, you and your experiences can be an excellent sense of support to someone else who is also in their early part of their journey.
End Negative Relationships
Another thing that you can do is to set boundaries with people as well as cut negative people out of your life.
This could mean setting healthy and clear boundaries with people who tend to be overly sceptical about your condition or those who are mean and say hurtful things about your and your struggle with mental health.
You could choose to clearly tell them about these boundaries or you can remove them from your lives- you have the power to do that.
Some ways you can cut them out of your life is by either limiting your contact with them or by garnering support from people who do care and facing their snide remarks with positive support.
As you set boundaries and cut people off, it is important to remember that there is nothing wrong with minimising contact with people who have a negative impact on your well-being, or completely cutting truly toxic people out of your life.
Consider solitude
There is no hard and fast rule that healing only comes from other people. If you have been struggling and you find that people do not seem to care about you, you can make the choice to spend some time alone- with yourself.
The best person that can tend to you and offer support during hard times is yourself. You can consider solitude- read a book, engage with a personal therapist and learn how to tend to your own needs.
Conclusion
In this blog we have discussed some of the possible reasons as to “Why does it feel like no one cares about me”.
We have also discuss some things you can do if you feel like no one cares.
FAQ related to why does it feel like no one cares about me
What does it mean when you feel like you don’t care?
If you have been feeling as if you don’t care about anything anymore, this might be related to anhedonia or apathy which is a symptom of mental health distress and conditions such as depression, bipolar disorder, and substance use.
What does it mean when someone says no one cares about them?
When someone says that no one cares about them it is very much likely that they are over generalising their expeirnces as a result of their own low sense of self worth. They beleive themsleves as unworthy of love and support and thus assumes that no one cares about them.
References
Why Does No One Care About Me? Tony Robbins. Retrieved on 3rd April 2022. https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mind-meaning/nobody-cares-about-me/
What to Remember When You Feel Like No One Cares. Blossom Tips. Retrieved on 3rd April 2022. https://blossomtips.com/feeling-unwanted-no-one-cares/