When Empaths Meet (A guide on what to expect)

In this article, we explore who empaths are and answer the question – ‘What happens when empaths meet?’

Usually, in a relationship between two empaths, they are well taken care of as both of them put others’ needs before theirs and tend to anticipate what the other person needs even before it arises.

Empathy is a feeling that allows one person to connect emotionally and cognitively with another. Empaths are people who tend to be in tune with other people’s feelings more than an average person. They tend to recognize others’ feelings better, feel those emotions more intensely and process emotions on a deeper level than the others. In other words, empaths are those ‘who put themselves in others’ shoes’ more than most.

Empaths are exceptionally sensitive to the world around them that they see their world through their intuition and usually have an exhausting time intellectualizing their feelings. Let us look at some of the unique traits of empaths below:

What to expect when empaths meet 

When two empaths meet and are on a road to build a relationship, what they ideally look for in a partner or a friend is balance, reliability and honesty. As an empath, they provide these qualities to the world, so they tend to seek these qualities in a relationship.

Empaths: Traits and Signs to look for

Empaths are highly sensitive

Empaths are naturally open to stimuli from their environment that they are highly sensitive. They tend to be an open book who are very giving in nature that they also get hurt easily. They are always looking for an exchange of emotions that makes them sensitive people. Empaths may also have a heightened sense of jarring sounds, physical sensations and fragrances along with emotions.

Empaths allow their intuition to guide them

Empaths tend to recognize their environment and other people’s emotions early and accurately than most people as they have a sense of strong intuition guiding them. They are good observers and pick up on subtle cues that provide insight in their decision-making process.

Honesty is an empath’s founding policy

Empaths usually are clear-headed and almost always know what they want. This allows them to be transparent and honest. They are strongly rooted to their belief systems and do not waver. In some ways, this belief system is what grounds an empath as they feel too many emotions.

Empaths need alone time and replenish

As empaths draw people who want to share their problems and feelings, it drains the energy out of them emotionally, spiritually and physically. Therefore, empaths need time alone for themselves to reflect and replenish themselves. They are usually drawn towards nature to replenish themselves.

Empaths mirror movements and emotions

Empaths tend to unconsciously mirror other people’s movements such as postures, hand gestures, mannerisms and facial expressions. They also tend to unconsciously mirror other people’s emotions and pain. This is concluded from a research study involving MRI scans of brains of highly empathetic people in which it was found that an empath’s brain fires off the same neural circuit as a normal person feeling an emotion.

Empaths are more likely to try new things

Empaths are known to try new activities and approaches if they observe someone enjoying themselves.

Empaths are more likely to help people in distress

Empaths, being highly sensitive and responsive in nature tend to reach out a helping hand to people in distress. They are good listeners and highly intuitive that guides them to give action points to others.

Empaths are easily overwhelmed

Being open to stimuli from the environment does have its downsides. Empaths can be easily over-loaded with extensive stimuli and feel overwhelmed from the array of emotions they feel.

Empaths are not experts at setting boundaries

Since it is an exchange of emotions and stimuli for empaths, it is perplexing for empaths to set boundaries for interactions. It costs them a lot of emotional energy.

Empaths dislike conflicts

Empaths are naturally clear-headed and hence dislike conflicts. Unfortunately, they face conflicts more than most as they feel emotions deeply and this puts them in a position of vulnerability, emotional distress and cognitive dissonance.

When Empaths Meet: What to expect

Given the broad traits of empaths, we have understood how they view and interact with the world around them. What happens in the world where two empaths meet?

When two empaths meet and are on a road to build a relationship, what they ideally look for in a partner or a friend is balance, reliability and honesty. As an empath, they provide these qualities to the world, so they tend to seek these qualities in a relationship. The best pair for an empath, is an empath. Let us explore what happens when two empaths meet:

Deep Understanding

When two empaths meet, it is as if finally someone feels everything the same that one has been able to feel the world. There is an intense connect that pulls the two empaths together as they share the way they view and experience the world. This leads to a deep understanding of the experience of emotions and validates the way one feels. A sense of belonging sets in, as the partner is able to understand the feelings the way they do. The two empaths share and build on this as a cornerstone for their relationship.

Unwilling to settle

As empaths usually are honest and know what they want, they seek truth in a deeper level of their being. They are able to filter the superficial layers of a person and see what is underneath. This makes them stubborn and unwilling to settle for anyone less than who is honest and is capable of returning the same intensity of emotions to them.

Communication

Empaths are highly expressive in nature. When two empaths meet, their way is paved with an explosion of emotions that are communicated and expressed. Over time, empaths develop communicating their feelings better and hence effective communication is another cornerstone of two empaths’ relationship.

Intense Love

Intensity is the key in any empaths’ relationship. Empaths are sensitive and tend to feel all emotions on a deeper level, hence love is no odd one out. Emotions of love and affection are shared intensely and deeply in empaths’ relationships. They do not shy away from their love language and ensure to constantly express love and affection towards their partners. In some cases, they expect the same or more degree of love expression in return.

Inquisitive seek for balance

Since empaths are naturally givers, they are in a position to give more to the world than receive. When it comes down to an intimate relationship, they tend to maintain and seek equality and balance in emotional support, expression and stability. Empaths expect their partners to be caring and nurturing just as how they are towards them. True empaths usually work this out and strike a balance with effective communication and genuine concern and love for their partner.

Being Empaths: Are there downsides?

While empaths are one-of-the-kind people that we need more in this world, they also have some unusual perks and downsides. Many empaths tend to put others’ needs before others. This leaves them broken hearted very easily. Since they process emotions strongly and deeply, they collect emotional baggage and tend to be beacons of the broken. Experiencing the world in the way empaths do also burns them out emotionally and spiritually. 

The world takes more from empaths than give, hence, they experience fatigue and drains of energy quite often than most. Empaths also are sensitive to stimuli from their environment and are very intuitive. Hence, they tend to have a shift in their emotions often, which may be had to understand and keep up with.

When empaths interact with empaths, they need to look out for the degree to which their partner is experiencing an emotion and work through them to be effectively compatible. If there is an imbalance, conflicts arise in the forms of trust issues, miscommunication and shutting out of the partner. They can misunderstand the imbalance as not giving one the space and truly understand them.

In terms of a female empath especially, besides being sensitive to others and understanding, they are goaded with societal impositions to be lady-like and conventional. Calling out and spotting liars and being honest puts them in a harsher light. Some female empaths also tend to be ‘fixers’, choosing to fix their partners who are in need of great psychological, financial or spiritual support. Deviating from convention, female empaths often walk a lonely path until someone who truly understands them comes along.

In conclusion, empaths are one-of-a-kind people, who experience others’ emotions as their own. They are trust-worthy and understanding partners, who always put others’ needs before their own. One of the best feelings to connect with a partner is to share and experience one’s feelings and there is no better than empaths to do that. As friends, empaths are reliable and good listeners who can provide honest opinions for the situation at hand. They come very close to walking one’s path just by putting themselves in other’s shoes.       

They tend to recognize others’ feelings better, feel those emotions more intensely and process emotions on a deeper level than the others. Empaths are exceptionally sensitive to the world around them that they see their world through their intuition and usually have an exhausting time intellectualizing their feelings.

FAQs: When empaths meet

Are empaths drawn to each other?

Yes, naturally empaths are drawn to each other. They would ideally form compatible relationships or friendships who truly support one another as they share the way they view and experience the world. 

In some cases, empaths and narcissists are drawn to each other because of two reasons: 1) Narcissists at their core, have an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for attention and admiration and a complete lack of empathy for others. In the beginning, they mask these qualities with a confident, open and charming portrayal of themselves. 2) On the other hand, empaths are sensitive, giving and understanding people with the ability to sense what others are thinking and feeling. Empaths tend to be ‘fixers’ who take up the responsibility of being with their partner to support and fix them. This agenda of these two types of people draws them together. 

The relationships between empaths – narcissists tend to be toxic in nature as the giver always gives and the taker always takes in the relationship. There seems to exist a component of exploitation in these relationships and empaths find themselves drained, burnt out and hurt at the end.

What happens when an empath gets hurt?

Empaths tend to get hurt very easily and experience heartbreaks often. They tend to get hurt when people try to cage them or dismiss their feelings saying ‘overly sensitive’, ‘emotional’ and ‘unstable.’ They do not usually get the same degree of love and compassion that they give out to the world. Because they are available and relate to other’s emotions, they put themselves in a vulnerable position too often and get hurt.

Why do empaths struggle in relationships?

In most relationships, empaths become the emotional sponges who absorb and cushion their partner’s experience of emotions. This may not be always reciprocated leaving them with a feeling void and with no support. The empath may also feel dismissed of their feelings as they experience a range of emotions from one moment to another. 

Many empaths also struggle with anxiety and self-worth issues as they always centre others instead of themselves. They also tend to carry emotional baggage due to hurtful experiences in life. Given all these facts, empaths struggle in relationships that do not give them space to be themselves. But, they thrive in relationships where their fears and anxieties are validated and protected.

Why do empaths feel so deeply?

Empaths are people who draw their energy from their external world. Although not all empaths are extroverts, their view and experience of the world is at the deeper level than most. Most empaths are honest and expressive of their emotions in the rawest form. That is how they are able to connect and feel others’ emotions as their own. They process emotions in multitude of layers instead of just one which increases the intensity in which they experience it. They also feel all emotions at once which causes them to feel a large array of emotions moment to moment.

Are empaths born or made?

Empaths become what they are through nature and nurture. There some personality traits that empaths are predisposed to while there are characteristics built through experience as well. In some people, there is an inborn temperament with heightened sensitivity. Experience of trauma in life can affect the level of sensitivity and empathy one can possess as a person. The parenting ways that a child is put through also affects the empathic nature of a person.

References

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Shobhana is a HR professional with a masters in Psychology. She believes that life-long learning is the only constant experience that uplifts the quality of life. She has experience in working with schools and consultancies for counselling and psychometric interventions. She is a proactive and resourceful individual who practices art-therapy and has a passion towards adding value in the fields of learning and development.

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