In this brief guide, we will discuss what it means when a guy says he wants to take baby steps, as well as other common problems and their solutions in a relationship.
When a Guy Says he Wants to Take Baby Steps
When a guy says he wants to take baby steps, it may mean one of two things, either he is scared of commitment, or he just wants to get to know you properly and let the relationship develop at a more natural pace instead of rushing things.
Sometimes people want to take baby steps because they have been hurt in romantic relationships before, and this can often lead to them feeling vulnerable, causing them to feel insecure about being in a new relationship.
When a guy says he wants to take baby steps, it may mean that they are hurt deeply and want to ensure that they won’t be again, which is why they don’t want to rush the confessions of love or the promises of commitment.
Sometimes a guy may also say he wants to take baby steps because they are afraid of commitment, maybe because they have a fear of being stuck in a relationship, or because they want to keep playing the field, so to speak.
Many guys tend to attach their sense of fun or adventure to sexual conquests, and being in a relationship can change that, so they say they want to take baby steps because they don’t want to give up that privilege just yet, and this is a reason that applies equally to women as well.
Other times when a guy says he wants to take baby steps can be because they are scared of being tied down in some way because they don’t feel emotionally ready to form a deep attachment with someone, or because they don’t feel that they are financially in a place in their lives where they can have a relationship with someone and not worry about the trivial everyday things.
It is crucial to remember that guys mature later than girls in many cases, but also that girls can be more emotionally volatile at times, which means that finding the right balance of emotion in any relationship is like tuning a musical instrument.
It can take a lot of hard work to get on the same page, and get to a point where the guy feels ready and the girl hasn’t given up in exasperation, but once that balance is found, there is a solid foundation on which to build the relationship.
Whatever the reason behind the guy saying he wants to take baby steps, it can’t be bad to actually try it, because either he is scared about the future and committing to someone, in which case taking baby steps will save you a tonne of heartache, or it means he wants the relationship to grow deeper rather than enjoy the moment superficially, which means that he is serious about whom he lets into his life.
Both of these consequences are good for you, regardless of whether you are a girl or guy, and if you have the emotional capacity to take baby steps, you should probably listen to the guy and take it slow for a bit.
He wants to take it slow, is he interested?
It is possibly the biggest myth of our generation that taking things slow always means that someone is disinterested, maybe because we belong to the era of fast and instant, everything is in the now, so when someone you connected with says they want to take it slow, your mind immediately goes, oh, he is not interested.
This is not always true however, and sometimes when he says he wants to take things slow, he may be more interested, or it may simply mean that he wants a serious relationship rather than a casual fling.
Of course, there is always a chance that he wants to take things slow because he is not sure about where things stand with him in his life, and you may not be a factor here at all, and how interested he is in you may not be a concern.
It can still help to know about some sure signs that he is interested, though, so here are some signs that he is interested even if he says he wants to take things slow:
- He likes talking to you.
- He makes an active effort to try and reach out to you.
- He does nice things for you for no reason.
- He listens when you talk.
- He likes to get physically intimate and affectionate.
- He likes telling you about his day and life.
- He shares things with you, even if it is once in a while.
- He is not opposed to the idea of discussing the relationship at some point.
- He doesn’t shoot you down completely when you talk about moving forward.
- He doesn’t get disinterested when you talk about your future.
Possible Reasons He Wants to Take Things Slow
There are many reasons why someone might want to take things slow, some of which we discussed before, that is, like when someone wants to get to know a person or when someone is afraid of commitment, but here are some other possible reasons why he might want to take things slow:
- He has his own personal milestones he wants to achieve before he gets into a relationship, and he doesn’t want to rush into something before he is at a stage in his life where he can manage a relationship properly.
- He doesn’t want to misunderstand you or repeat the mistakes he made before.
- He likes to take time to understand people in general, and he believes in “slow and steady”.
- He learned from his past relationships that going fast in a relationship doesn’t always end well, and he wants to take things slow now because of his lessons from the past.
- His past relationship ended badly, and he wants to understand properly what he did wrong or what he can do differently this time.
- He wants to know the real you, that is beyond the portrayal we all have in the beginning of the relationship.
- He values his alone time more right now and wants to keep it a little longer.
- He doesn’t know what he wants, and he doesn’t want to let you go while he figures it out.
- He has some concerns about you because he has seen some red flags.
- He wants to know if you are really interested in a relationship.
Whatever the reason for him wanting to take it slow, if you have major concerns about this attitude, or if you have baggage of your own that makes you concerned about taking things slow, you need to talk to him, and express your concerns because communication is key in a relationship.
He Wants to Take it Slow How Long Should I Wait?
Even if you understand his reasons, it can be hard to know how long you should wait when he says that he wants to take it slow, and the simple answer is, ask him.
This doesn’t mean that you call him up and go, hey, how long should I wait to leave, it means when he says he wants to take things slow, you can tell him that you are okay with it, and you understand, but that you have plans of your own and milestones you want to achieve, so it would be nice to know how long he has in mind.
When talking to someone about where a relationship is going it can always help to express your feelings with “I feel…” phrases, rather than “you should”; you need to tell the other person where you stand, and ask about where they see themselves going in the next few years.
Another important thing to do when you want to know how long you should wait, you should ask them why they want to take things slow, because if it is simply that they want to reach their personal goals, it may mean that they have specific time frames in mind, and they might be able to tell you.
Whatever you do, try to not put an arbitrary clock on it, because your 6 months may mean nothing to the other person, while their 1-year might mean a lifetime to you, so talk.
In this brief guide, we discussed what it means when a guy says he wants to take baby steps, as well as other common problems and their solutions in a relationship.
Taking a relationship slow is not a big deal, and sometimes it can actually be very good for the relationship if it is taken one day at a time, however, if you are one of those people that likes to jump in headfirst, you may hate the idea of keeping things slow.
It can also start being a problem that someone wants to take things slow or wants to take baby steps when the person is doing so because they have issues with intimacy and commitment, and in such a case it is very easy to be on totally different pages in the relationship.
If you are in a new relationship and want to know other things about what it means when a guy says he wants to take baby steps, please feel free to reach out to us at any time.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs): When a Guy Says he Wants to Take Baby Steps
What does it mean when a guy says he wants a baby with you?
When a guy says he wants a baby with you, it means he is serious about you and has also thought about wanting a family. When a guy says he wants a baby with you, it means that he has also thought about marriage and he is likely someone who has thought about the concept of marriage with you or at least a long-term committed relationship.
Another possible meaning of a guy saying he wants a baby with you means that he is capable of giving lots of affection and time, and he is also likely to be at a position of financial independence that is required to have a baby, which is always a good thing.
What does it mean when a guy says he wants to take things slow?
When a guy says that he wants to take things slow, it may mean that he wants a pace that helps intimacy, connection, feelings, and commitments grow at a more comfortable pace.
Of course, one also needs to realize that whether it is a guy or a girl taking things slow can be quite subjective, and the meaning of this phrase can vary significantly depending on who says it and how they feel about being in a relationship.
What does it mean to take things slow in a relationship?
To take things slow in a relationship means moving forward at a pace you’re both comfortable with and not rushing things related to intimacy, feelings and commitment.
Taking things slow may involve not talking excessively about commitment or about spending the rest of your life with someone, although in some cases taking things slow can also have negative connotations, like when someone does not want to commit at all and wants to keep seeing other people.
How do I know if my boyfriend wants a baby?
Here is how to know if your boyfriend wants a baby:
It’s hard for him to get annoyed by crying kids.
He is good at taking care of you.
He says he wants the relationship to progress to the next level.
He loves playing with kids.
He’s financially secure.
He likes the idea of family and gets along well with yours and his.
He’s emotionally mature.