What Does An Enneagram 4 Go To In The Stress?

This article will take a look at the type 4 enneagram and how they become when they experience stress. Furthermore, the article will also talk about the dark side of this enneagram and introduce it in detail to the audience. The article will then attempt to provide suggestions as to how it can improve and reach a healthier version of themselves.

What Happens When An Enneagram 4 Goes Into Stress?

When 4s become stressed out, they become an unhealthy version of the type 2 enneagram who thinks they can do anything and get away with it. They feel as if people owe them a lot and may expect many things from others – if they do not get what they expect they become quite moody and upset. They are blunt and controlling.

Here are some of the traits or behaviours they exhibit when they go into stress:

  • Controlling
  • Coercive
  • Entitled
  • Blame Others

Before we take a look at these behaviours in detail, let us introduce the type 4 enneagram to the audience!

Who Is A Type 4 Enneagram?

They are also known as the individualist because of their desire to be self-sufficient and do things on their own terms. Being dramatic innately, expressive and sensitive describes them very well. Such individuals are very honest, creative and remain reserved and personal however they do long to connect with others. What prevents this? Their fear of being vulnerable or abandoned hence they tend to keep a distance. 

Another highlighting feature of such personalities is that they dislike the ordinary lifestyles people have most probably because they feel they cannot achieve something like this in their life.

The type 4 enneagram does have a dark side to itself. These enneagrams can become very toxic to themselves if left alone for too long. They fear that they will never develop a self identity with which they can understand themselves. However, they always feel as if something is missing from their life which they can’t seem to pinpoint. The type 4 enneagram is brutally honest with himself or herself; they accept feelings, thoughts, pain and fear which they experience. Hence they are often more equipped to go through experiences others may break during.

When their fears become too much, they can adopt the path of self destruction and engage in habits of excessive alcohol consumption, drugs, reckless sexual behavior and in the worst cases suicide. 

The type 4 also experiences very negative thoughts. They become extremely pessimistic and torment themselves with their thoughts to the extent that they view themself with hatred and dissent. They will try to drive away anyone who tries to help them. 

Basic Fear.

Type 4 enneagrams are confused about who they really are or what beliefs and values define them. They fear not having an identity or self worth. They feel as though they are not benefitting society and have no place in it. Such individuals become a victim of self pity and self indulgence and want to stay inside their thoughts.

Basic Desire.

Their basic desire stems from their fear; they want to discover themself and hence possess an identity. They want to be known for who they are and be visible in the eyes of others so maybe they can connect with them and experience the life of the ordinary and live the dream they imagine.

What Is The Dark Side Of Type 4 Enneagrams?

These enneagrams can become very toxic to themselves if left alone for too long. They fear that they will never develop a self identity with which they can understand themselves. However, they always feel as if something is missing from their life which they can’t seem to pinpoint. The type 4 enneagram is brutally honest with himself or herself; they accept feelings, thoughts, pain and fear which they experience. Hence they are often more equipped to go through experiences others may break during.

When their fears become too much, they can adopt the path of self destruction and engage in habits of excessive alcohol consumption, drugs, reckless sexual behavior and in the worst cases suicide. 

The type 4 also experiences very negative thoughts. They become extremely pessimistic and torment themselves with their thoughts to the extent that they view themself with hatred and dissent. They will try to drive away anyone who tries to help them. 

Even when they are not at their worst, these individuals have the habit of internalizing what they feel to the extent that they become self absorbed and detached from their surroundings. They begin to think they are different from others, perhaps a coping mechanism, and dislike the ordinary life they pursue such as having friends, getting married and having kinds and generally having hope from life and looking forward to important events.

Type 4s & Stress 

In this section, we will take a look at the more frequent behaviours this enneagram exhibits when they are in stress!

  • Controlling: In a stressful state, the type 4 enneagram becomes very controlling. They will impose their beliefs and way of doing things on others and expect them to conform to how they want things to be done. However, they will not consider the needs or wants of others – they just want to do things their way otherwise it’s the highway!
  • Coercive: They use threat or force to push others to listen to them. The concept of asking or requesting has been erased from their dictionary and they do not like to waste time in convincing others or showing them the logic of why they want to do a certain thing in a certain way. 
  • Entitled: The type 4 enneagram in a stressful state thinks they own what they have under them. They will exercise their rights over things or people.
  • Blame Others: To avoid responsibility, they will often blame others and play the victim.

How Can An Enneagram Type 4 Work On Self Improvement?

Think Objectively.

It is important not to experience everything in terms of what one feels. Enneagram type 4s must realize that their feelings may deceive them at times so they must look at the real picture. If they feel extremely down they need to look at the achievements they have accomplished over time. If they feel too distant from others they must remind themselves that they possess similarities; other people also experience negative feelings but overcome them so they should too! If someone tries to help them then they should focus on their effort rather than their own feelings.

It is important for the type 4 enneagram to rationalize things only then can they escape their negative thoughts and feelings. They need to be their own therapists who challenge their own thoughts by asking confrontational questions, evaluating their feelings in terms of what really is going around them and try to see the positive in things.

Stay In The Present.

Type 4 enneagrams have the habit of dwelling in the past. Why? Once they are in their dark phase, the past is what helps them reinforce the negative feelings that lead to self destruction. They focus on how people hurt them, what mistakes they made and how they let their own self down. They also tend to perceive present events in light of what has gone on before thus not giving people chances to help them because they already know what is going to happen. It is not their past that dictates their present but their persistence that what happened will happen again. This negative thought often leads them to behave in ways that reinforce past happenings.

These individuals need to focus on the now so that they can let go of their past and the haunting memories and try to lead a new and better life. They not only need to give others a chance but their own self too!

Be Productive – It Helps Keep Focus.

The type 4 enneagram is surrounded by disturbing thoughts, feelings and negative views about oneself. This leads to low self esteem and a bad self image. How can they break out of this cycle and feel good about themselves? They must be productive and be useful to others. 

People with this personality type can lead a healthier lifestyle and set simple goals for themselves which may include healthier eating, more exercise, learning something new everyday and doing one thing daily that they like. This will not only prove to them that they can be productive but it will help them feel good about themselves.

Another way to feel productive and avoid the cycle of negative thoughts is to help others. It will bring an innate feeling of satisfaction and it will also help the individualist realize that not only do they suffer; there are people who are homeless, live alone, don’t have a job or sleep hungry every night!

Avoid Lengthy Conversations In Your Imagination.

Type 4 enneagrams have the habit of imagining themselves in a state of self pity and talking to others that may arouse feelings of disappointment, self hate and sadness. They need to think less about such things and focus on the present rather than the past. They must learn how to think about positive things. They can learn self help exercises such as writing 5 things they are thankful for every day to encourage good thoughts.

Self Discipline.

Change only comes when you focus both on your thoughts and behavior. Oftentimes the type 4 enneagram engages in self-destructive behaviour. In order to improve themselves, they must impose limits on what they do!

Conclusion

This article took a look at how the type 4 enneagram behaves when they become stressed out and also what they can do to deal with the stress. The article also introduced this enneagram in detail to the audience. 

References

https://www.truity.com/blog/how-cope-enneagram-type-4-under-stress
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