Twin Flame Separation (The Ultimate Guide)


In this brief guide, we will discuss Twin Flame Separation, as well as other concepts related to this subject.

What is Twin Flame Separation?

Twin flame separation means the process of separation from the spirit that is closest to yours, or your twin flame, which may feel like your entire life has been shattered. 

Twin flames share a deep and intense love that makes separation from our twin flames agonizing and almost unbearable, which is why so much has been written about this subject.

Lost souls going through twin flame separation, can feel an overwhelming sense of loss, intimidating fear about how to get through it, and terrified at the prospect of the future, and any twin flame sufferer will tell you how insufferable it is to separate, even if it is just temporarily.

Twin flame separation, sadly, is quite frequent, too, as it has been seen that many twin flames separate after the initial union. 

Many spiritual teachers who study the concept of twin flames and are well-versed in it suggest that this is a conventional and necessary path, as twin flames may separate after the initial union because they are not prepared for ascension.

Ascension refers to fulfilling one’s individual mission, almost like Maslow’s Self-actualization but in a more spiritual way, to the point where one may collaborate and co-create with one’s twin.

This makes twin flame separation rather common, as it has been seen that many of them may detach for a period of time until they are ready, or in some cases, it may happen due to the involvement of other partnerships, which are known as karmic relationships.

It is important to remember, especially if you are suffering from twin flame separation, that these relationships don’t follow a “typical” romance lifetime, so it may be important to let one’s expectations go and find comfort and meaning in one’s own healing.

What are Twin Flames?

Twin flames are like kindred spirits that enhance your spiritual being and provide the joy and comfort of achieving spiritual growth together, but they are not like soulmates, and a twin flame relationship doesn’t even have to be about love or romance; at the crux of it, it is someone that you complete your holistic, inner journey with.

Psychospiritual mentor and a practitioner of Humanistic Existential Therapy, Lisa Vallejos, says about these relationships, “These high-level spiritual love connections do exist, but here’s a pretty serious misunderstanding of what that means.”

She continues to describe them further in the following manner: “This kind of high-level, soul-based connection isn’t about romance. It’s about spiritual growth. You meet them and your life just completely changes. You start seeing the world differently. It pushes you to want to engage with the divine, shift consciousness, and become a better, soulful being in this experience.” 

This description by Dr. Lisa suggests that a twin flame may be anyone, from a romantic partner to a friend or a mentor, or maybe even a student, there are no rules or conventions about who your twin flame may be.

On the subject of how you know when you have met your twin flame, Dr. Lisa says, “there’s a sense of homecoming. There’s a sense of merging energy where you can’t really tell where you start and the end.” 

She also adds that it is entirely possible that your twin flame may have experienced childhood trauma similar to yours or undergone problems of a similar nature as you. 

The Twin Flames theory does not assume that we are 1 soul split into two, rather that we are whole on our own, and the souls we attach with strongly are more companions than someone that completes us, and going by this theory, twin flames act as a reflection. 

Dr. Lisa adds, “It can be really intense. That’s what being in a twin flame relationship is like, staring into a mirror all day.”

Twin Flame Separation Stages

The typical twin flame separation stages are not the same for everyone, as this entire concept approaches human being from a perspective that everyone has their own journey and are unique, which applies to the relationships they have as well, but there seem to be some stages that most twin flames may experience in some form, which are discussed below.


Preparation is the first stage and in this stage, one may have a strange sensation that someone that is very important to you spiritually, is ‘out there’, but you may not know how to find them or have any inkling of when, or even if, they’ll appear in your life. 

It has been said that when a twin flame comes into our lives, our body frequency actually may change and our souls may emit a deep call that may be familiar to one another.

In the preparation stage of twin flames you need to try and learn to love yourself unconditionally, and treat both yourself and others you come across with compassion and forgiveness, which are also concepts that one may find in Buddhism and Existential theories of psychology. 

Twin flame theory assumes that we are complete on their own and the soul we relate to is not another part of us, so unless one is complete on our own, they might find it impossible to be truly able to be in love with and care for someone else, even if it may be their twin flame.

“Generosity is the most natural outward expression of an inner attitude of compassion and loving-kindness.”: Dalai Lama.


Recognition is the feeling you get when you meet your twin flame and feel like you already know them at a deep level, and feel like your values and beliefs are matched and congruous. 

However, one needs to remember that meeting a twin flame may not be like matching ideas but probably something like matching the deepest wants and needs of your soul. 

The twin flame stage of recognition is marked by feelings of joy, excitement, anxiety, and a sense of oneness with the universe, and a strong sense that this person will have a huge impact on your life.

Twin Flame Separation

Twin flame separation is the most difficult part, it is painful but it may also be a necessary stage of twin flame relationships, but this stage will also see a lot of negativity, fear, attachment, and other feelings coming to the surface.

Twin flame separation sounds like an incredibly hard and painful process and may put a lot of people off the idea completely, but one has to remember that it’s also one of growth and understanding, and can give you insights about each other as well as yourself.

The twin flame separation stage may be caused by anything, from lack of communication and the frequent arguments that may result from this, or an inability for one or both of you to express yourselves and to get an idea of the powerful emotion you are experiencing.

The Twin Flame Separation Stage is marked by the appearance of concepts known as the Runner and Chaser, where the runner is the twin flame soul that wants to run away from the problems and the chaser is the twin flame soul that wants to resolve them and go after the runner.

Needless to say, the Runner may be the soul that may have more “baggage”, so to speak, or more spiritual or emotional trauma, whereas the Chaser may be more spiritually self-aware.

Twin Flame Reunion

Twin flame reunion, as the name suggests, is the fourth stage where the twin flames unite again, which generally seems to happen when both parties have worn the other out.

As with most relationships that involve a lot of heightened emotions, the twin flames may be tired of fighting and talking, and they may finally learn to appreciate the overall silence. 

The twin flame reunion stage is when the problematic parts of the personality like ego or the outside faces they put on will wither away and the twin flames may see each other but with new eyes, and start to accept and forgive, thereby starting their spiritual growth.


Oneness, the last twin flame stage, is the one where there is emotional, mental, and spiritual maturity for both individuals. 

In the stage of Twin Flame Oneness, one may experience the death of the ego and spiritual awakening, or rebirth, takes its place, for both the twin flames.

The twin flames may experience a great deal of love for one another and they may start feeling oneness with the universe as well.

Twin Flame Separation Stories

Given below are some of the most touching twin flame separation stories:

A user on a forum, Chantal de la Fuente, says, “I only realized in the 7th year that I was on a Twin Flame journey. I was fighting a lot internally until I healed my wounds, nourished my scars, and restored my faith.

The past couple of six months involved revelations upon revelations. Before these six months, I wasn’t in separation with my Twin Flame, only physically. We were born in the same country, but eventually, I moved to another continent in the hopes of losing these feelings for him but clearly, it didn’t work.

But for the last six months, I was in my hometown, and looking back, every occurrence led to my physical reunion with the love of my life.

Now, we aren’t in constant contact but I know he’s there when I need him and the other way around. I feel content, and I’m still learning more about myself and him. The understanding that we have for each other is immense. I was happy on my own, content by myself, grateful for myself but having him by my side makes me whole.

It’s true that everything will happen in its own timing and what’s meant to be will be; they aren’t just cliches. Changing your mindset to positive thinking and understanding that what you want is already yours will have you make a bigger shift. Surrendering isn’t a myth, surrendering to what is for you, will be for you is nothing but the truth. Healing from your past isn’t just a saying to guide you, it’s very true. Finding peace and balance in your energy is truly a state of being.”

Anonymous says, “We ended up doing lunches together on occasion and I knew I probably shouldn’t be doing lunches together with him, but I did. And that is probably when our marriages started going bad. I didn’t think I was neglecting my husband, but looking back I definitely did. I got to the point where I was thinking about Bruce while I was home. And that didn’t help me with my husband.

Bruce and I broke it off and he ended up quitting the job and ghosting me. During this time my marriage continued to go downhill and I thought about Bruce all the time.

I ended up bumping into him at a conference one day that I was attending. He had apologized for ghosting me saying that he and his wife were going through a difficult time as well.

He gave me his new contact information and we started speaking again on a regular basis.

My divorce was really hard towards both my husband and kids. They really didn’t understand. And I felt awful, but I needed to do it. I couldn’t love my husband anymore. My heart was with Bruce and his heart was with me. I could feel him all the time and my marriage was not good.

After the divorce, it took Bruce and me another 6 months before we got married. It was a rather small wedding as most of my family and he did not support our union. But that was the happiest I had been in years. Having his arms around me was like being wrapped in a huge warm fur blanket.

Things were wonderful for the first two years. We were expecting and I couldn’t ask for more. But he started to seem distant. We got his kids every other weekend. So he and his ex talked from time to time. And then I accidentally saw the text from his ex giving me a clue that the relationship was starting back up.

Things started falling apart from there. We are still together, but just barely. My heart is broken. I am due in 2 months and Bruce and I are barely talking. I can feel the conflict in him, but I don’t know what to do.”


In this brief guide, we discussed Twin Flame Separation, as well as other concepts related to this subject. Please feel free to send across any questions or comments you may have.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs): Twin Flame Separation

How long does twin flame separation last?

How long a twin flame separation lasts mostly depends on the twin flames, but in most cases, it has been noticed to be around 1 to 2 years.

You may also find that in some cases twin flame separation may last several years.

Do all Twin Flames go through separation?

Most, if not all, twin flames go through a separation, but they are able to reunite due to the infinite energy of love. 

Twin flames may need separation so that they may recognize and harmonize with their own souls again. 

Why does twin flame separation hurt?

Twin flame separation hurts because twin flames mirror and triggers each other, and as a result of this egos begin to clash and deep wounds may start coming to the surface. 

Because of this process, twin flame separation may hurt as all of these relationships may go through a “runner and chaser” phase.


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