My husband is making me anxious (+ A guideline on what to do)

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This article will discuss what can cause a partner, in this case, a husband, to make their wives anxious. For that, the article will show what can happen in a relationship to cause it to become stressful, and what are ways to cope with having a husband that makes you anxious.

Family Counseling
Family Counseling

Why is my husband making me anxious?

Being in a relationship will always put people face to face with some of their fears. And although you might love each other deeply, sometimes the relationship might have some problems that can cause the partner to become anxious.

There are many reasons why a husband can cause a wife to be anxious. Let’s discuss some of them.

I get anxious about my husband’s behavior 

It might be that how your husband is acting can make you anxious. It could be that they use mean language to talk to you, or are using physical intimidation towards you.

That can make you constantly afraid as to when they might be hurtful towards you again. It is extremely important to talk about these things in the relationship, and understand if they are willing to change their aggressive behavior, so it doesn’t become a violent relationship.

I get anxious if my husband likes me

It is common to, sometimes, wonder if your partner is still in love with you. After so long, the romance might have decreased, and you can start questioning if they still like you.

When that is the case, it might be good to have an honest conversation, but you should also keep in mind that people stay in relationships because they want to, so if your husband is still with you, it might mean that this relationship still makes sense to them.

I feel like my husband is too good for me

When you usually feel like your partner is too good for us, this might be related to low self-esteem. You might not have been able to see the good in you, and what are the things you bring to the relationship.

It might be good to put those negative opinions of yourself in question and realize you are also an attractive person, full of possibilities and desires. Seeing yourself with those eyes will let you appreciate your husband, but also value yourself.

I get anxious because I feel my husband might want to break up 

When you start getting anxious if they might want to break up it is important to ask yourself why you feel like that. If there is something you feel they might change in their behavior, maybe you notice something in their behavior changed.

Are you suspecting they are cheating you? Try to get in touch with your feelings, and understand what is going on deep in your heart. And maybe it might be important to have an honest conversation with your partner, share your insecurities, and see what they have to say about it.

I get anxious because I read into all my husband’s words and actions

Overthinking is always something that can make you anxious. Doing it with people that you share your life with, might push someone over the edge. Trying to stop the flow of your thoughts might only hurt you. 

The most important thing is to try to understand what you are so suspicious about, what are you looking to find in his words, and how can you make yourself feel safe about his feelings and the relationship.

What can cause me to get so anxious about my relationship? 

It is important to understand that all relationships can have their hard times, but it is important to take a look at what is going on in your relationship and what is related to your emotional condition.

Some things can cause you to feel anxious in relationships. It might be that you are bringing to this relationship experiences from previous ones. Maybe you were cheated on, lied to, or misled, and now you are not trusting your husband thinking he might do the same. 

It is important to set apart one experience from the other, although it might be hard, try to remember who this person you are with. It might also be related to low self-esteem since when you are not liking yourself, it might seem that other people, especially your husband, won’t like you too.

It can also be that you are getting this anxious because of your attachment style. This means that the styling attachment you develop during your childhood will keep with you throughout your life. A person can develop a secure attachment style or insecure ones as avoidant or anxious ones. 

The avoidant one might be a person that avoids the other person to get too close, the anxious one, on the other hand, might keep chasing their loved ones because they are constantly scared of being left behind. If you and your partner have an avoidant-anxious dynamic, it can be that you’ll feel anxious.

If you have a questioning personality it might also get you anxious. You tend to need a lot of information, to know everything that is going on, and because one can’t know everything, not knowing what is happening can cause you to get anxious.

How can I cope with being anxious?

There are some ways one can cope with the anxiety that their relationship is causing them. The first thing to try to get a grip on the anxiety is to remember who you are. Do an effort to remember your identity, what are your qualities, and all your accomplishments.

If you lose track of who you are, it might be that the relationship becomes all that defines you, causing you to fear losing everything if the relationship ends. Another important aspect is to be aware of your feelings. Practicing mindfulness can help you understand what is triggering your anxiety, and what are ways to make it better.

Another great way to make your anxiety better is to set a great communication pattern in your relationship. This will allow you to speak about what you are thinking, and about your insecurities. And feel heard and supported by your partner.

When you get too anxious, it is important to try to not act on your feelings. Try to center yourself before doing anything impulsive. But if you feel it is too hard to deal with this on your own, having a therapist to share these feelings with can be important.

If you’re facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): What to do if my husband makes me anxious?

Can one single person trigger my anxiety?

Yes, your anxiety can be triggered by a person. The same way a smell, an action, a place, or a feeling can trigger your anxiety, if you have a history of being triggered by the actions of a person when another one does the same thing, they might trigger you.

If that is your case, it might be important to realize what in this person’s behavior is triggering your anxiety, and if that is a person that is close to you, communicate about how you feel so they can be careful with how you feel.

Can a bad relationship cause anxiety in a person?

Yes, a bad relationship can cause a person to be anxious. For example, if a person is in a toxic relationship, they can develop stress, anxiety, and depression. A toxic relationship can make the person feel drained.

The roller-coaster that is a toxic relationship, that has a moment of intense love, followed by the struggle part, when fighting and even aggression might happen, followed by the reparation moment, can leave a person anxious about when and where will the hard times begin again, and when the good one will end.

How can I know if I am in a toxic relationship?

When a person is in a toxic relationship they won’t feel supported by their partner, and the communication seems harder every time. Sarcasm or being overly critical can become a routine in the relationship.

Your partner might start to act in controlling ways, trying to know where you are, who you are with, expressing how envious or jealous they are of you. And when you don’t comply with their demands, they will resent you. 

Dishonesty becomes a constant in the relationship, it might be a way to avoid fighting, or to not be with them. People lose respect for their partner and start living in an extremely stressful situation, in which it is impossible to listen to the other person’s needs.

With time, as a way to avoid fighting, they might start isolating themselves from other relationships, and since this romantic relationship is all they have left, they can start walking on eggshells to avoid fighting and in hopes that it won’t happen again.

What are the signs of an unhappy relationship?

When a relationship gets bad, it might be that they start criticizing the other often, and there is no more attraction or sexual relationship. It might be harder to spend time together, and when you share your wins, your partner won’t be happy for you.

Because of this stressful situation, you will both get defensive and avoid each other. And being away and thinking about leaving might make you feel better each time. The body language of the couple changes, the distance starts to show, and they don’t even have the energy to argue anymore. Until one of them decides to leave.

What is a loveless marriage?

A loveless marriage is one in which partners are not in love with each other. The romance aspect of the relationship is gone, and they might have found a new meaning to that relationship, they might feel like siblings or even roommates.

Being in a loveless marriage can cause people to isolate themselves since they won’t feel connected to the person they are sharing their lives with.  And since they don’t feel understood and supported, they can start resenting one another. 

This loneliness and resentment can cause the partners to lose hope in the chance of making this relationship better, or even in having a better one in the future. If you feel you are in a loveless marriage, it might be important to try to communicate how you feel to your partner, and if you are both willing, try to reconnect.

Conclusion 

This article discussed what can cause a husband to make their wife anxious. Through that, it discussed how a stressful relationship might affect each of the partners, and what are ways the wife can cope with such a situation.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write it in the section below.

References

https://www.healthline.com/health/relationship-anxiety#overcoming-it

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