ISTJ relationship compatibility (A 3 point guide)

This blog will look at which personality types on the MBTI are most compatible for a successful relationship with the ISTJ. It will further delve into what the ISTJ wants and does not want in a relationship. And it will lastly look at the strengths and weaknesses of the ISTJ.

Personalities that are most compatible for a relationship with an ISTJ

The following personalities are most compatible for an ISTJ:

  • ESTJ
  • ISFJ
  • ENTJ
  • ESFJ


The ESTJ is basically an extroverted version of the ISTJ. They have the same functions. The ISTJ’s introversion is complemented well with ESTJ’s extroversion. Both personality types enjoy a consistent, structured, and organized home. 

Both also highly value tradition and routine and prefer to show love through action instead of with words making them a great potential match. This relationship will have few or no moments of conflict. 

They both have the Thinking function which enables them to make decisions based on logical facts and evidence.

Additionally, they are both not emotionally sensitive people. This means the chances of hurting each other’s feelings are not that high. 

They will be able to match and reciprocate each other’s levels of loyalty, duty, responsibility. There will be no need for explanations or much argument these the other did this or that. They understand each other with little effort.

However, these two personalities must firstly ensure that their values and traditions are either the same or very similar. Otherwise, it will be ground for contention as neither individual will compromise due to their stubbornness.


The ISFJ is a considerably good match for ISTJs as they have many similarities. They both enjoy routines, traditions, and are incredibly loyal and consistent partners. 

Those with ISFJ traits usually aim to please their partners and can be flexible enough to make sure their partner is well taken care of making them a good potential couple. 

The ISFJ  may easily follow the ISTJs lead in a relationship especially if the man is an ISTJ and the woman ISFJ. 

The ISTJ will in turn devotedly supply and provide for all the material needs of the ISFJ  such as food, shelter, and other material needs.


The ENTJ is a good match for the ISTJ because they too value an organized and structured way of doing things. ENTJs are natural planners who enjoy routines and taking up leadership roles. 

Like the ISTJ, ENTJs also have the Thinking function which drives them to focus on logical and concrete facts. They base their decisions on facts and are not swayed by emotions or biases.

Both partners enjoy consistency and prefer to show affection through behavior rather than with words. 

The ENTJ can encourage the ISTJ to be more outgoing and try to make some friends. The ISTJ can help the ENTJ to focus inwardly through reflection and self-introspection.

These two therefore perfectly complement each other.


ESFJs make a good match for the ISTJ as they are caring and perceptive which means they can read their moods and dig into the underlying reasons for ISTJ’s behaviors.

ESFJs are extroverts that value friendship and people. They can help the ISTJ develop empathy, make friends and be more expressive.

The ISTJ can offer the ESFJ undying support and loyalty because they are good at committing to a cause they deem worthy.

ESFJs as well as ISTJs are practical and loyal. If these two commit to each other, it will be for life.

What ISTJs look for in relationships

ISTJs seek the following things in relationships:

  • Loyalty and devotion
  • They seek long-term serious relationships
  • They prefer a predictable structured relationship that is easy to maintain
  • They want a relationship where they are free and comfortable to maintain their traditions and values
  • They want a partner that is straightforward and precise in communicating needs and expectations
  • They prefer efficiency and practicality over romance and passion
  • They prefer dates to be well thought out and planned from beginning to end. For example, they will make reservations in advance, organize transportation, and carefully budget how they will spend the money. 
  • They want to know the direction and feasibility of a relationship before it starts and if it is worth their time.

What ISTJs do not want in a relationship

ISTJs do not want the following things in a relationship:

  • A sloppy and messy partner
  • A melodramatic partner who constantly creates arguments and overreacts about anything
  • A relationship that brings with it constant change with random and unpredictable events
  • ISTJs do not want to be in a relationship that does not gain the approval of those they value and respect
  • ISTJs hate being disrespected in a relationship
  • ISTJs do not want a partner that is noisy and forces them to socialize

Strengths of an ISTJ

The following are the strengths of an ISTJ:

  • They are dutiful and loyal
  • They are dependable
  • They are honest
  • They make stable life-long partners
  • They can persevere through any kind of hardship
  • They protect the things and people they love
  • They are providers
  • They are unrelenting at meeting the needs of those they value
  • They are agents of maintaining, preserving, and passing down family traditions
  • They are good at creating an orderly environment out of chaos
  • They maintain a tidy and neat home
  • They are excellent at planning and executing ideas
  • They are able to logically solve problems
  • They go to great lengths to keep promises they make to their loved ones
  • They are trustworthy

Weaknesses of an ISTJ

The following are the weaknesses of an ISTJ:

  • They are hard-wired to forming and maintaining routines that can drain the romance and spontaneity in a relationship
  • They are opinionated and judgemental
  • They resist change which can sometimes be retrogressive
  • They are emotionally insensitive which makes it difficult for them to be empathetic or understanding of people
  • They can become oppressive and controlling in an effort to create and maintain order in a relationship
  • They are not accomodating of people who are not like them or hold different values from theirs
  • They are not very verbally expressive and so they rarely offer words of praise or appreciation

If you’re facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.


This blog looked at which personality types on the MBTI are most compatible for a successful relationship with the ISTJ. It further delved into what the ISTJ wants and does not want in a relationship. And it lastly looked at the strengths and weaknesses of the ISTJ.

The following personalities are most compatible for an ISTJ:

  • ESTJ
  • ISFJ
  • ENTJ
  • ESFJ

Thank you for reading this blog let us know your thoughts in the comment section below

Frequently Asked Questions: ISTJ relationship compatibility

Are ISTJ females rare?

Yes, ISTJ females are quite rare with most ISTJs being male.

What does Istj hate?

ISTJs hate the following things:

Incompetent people who waste their time
Rule breakers and rebels
A messy environment
A sudden change in plans
People who lie to them

Are ISTJs intelligent?

Yes, ISTJs are intelligent people who possess many different types of intelligence and can comprehend things if given the time to study and learn about them. 

How does an ISTJ show love?

ISTJs show love through their actions. They do this by helping out with chores, buying fancy presents, and providing for the needs of those they love. 

Which MBTI type is the most annoying?

ESTJs are the most annoying MBTI type as they are characteristically loud, stubborn, insensitive, and arrogant.

Who Should an ISTJ marry?

The ISTJ’s natural partner is the ESFP or the ESTP. ISTJ’s dominant function of Introverted Sensing is best matched with a partner whose personality is dominated by Extraverted Sensing.


Alisha Kennerly, (2021), ‘ISTJ: The Logistician’, Retrieved from

Lewin K, (1935), A Dynamic Theory of Personality, McGraw-Hill; New York, NY, USA. PDF

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