ISTJ and INFP relationship (3 key areas of compatibility)

This blog will investigate the compatibility of a relationship between the ISTJ and INFP personalities. It will explain what both INFPs and ISTJs look for in relationships. Additionally, it will define both personalities and outline their respective characteristics. This will help us understand their behavior in relating with others and themselves.

Relationship compatibility between  ISTJ and INFP

The following are the key areas of  a successful relationship:

  • Communication
  • Showing affection
  • Making plans


Communication is essential for any relationship to grow and thrive. The ISTJ and INFP have different communication styles.

The ISTJ tends to communicate in a straightforward, concrete way, focusing on facts, details, history, and real-life experience. They convey information that they observed directly or can back up with real-life evidence. 

Their speech is curt and blunt. ISTJs do not have a censor or the ability to euphemize. As a result, they may end up hurting the feelings of the emotional INFP when offering an opinion or criticism.

INFPs tend to communicate in an abstract and theoretical way. They focus on creating patterns and making connections with information. They want to find the hidden meaning behind information.

Much of what INFPs communicate is their idea, theory, or interpretation of what they see, rather than direct factual observations. ISTJs are not interested in unverified information, therefore, this can cause a problem in the relationship.

The INFP may come across as a liar or a fraud to the ISTJ. They would wonder why someone would give unverified information and mistrust their words. 

Unless these two personalities can agree on one communication style their relationship will be turbulent.

Showing affection

The ISTJ is void of romance and cannot verbally express themselves. They therefore cannot express their love through words but instead do so through actions.

ISTJs will show they care by doing chores for their loved ones, showing up to their events, and buying them things. 

On the other hand, the INFP is a hopeless romantic. They have endless ideas on dates, letters, and surprises for their loved ones. They are often very open about how they feel and showing they care.

This may cause problems in the relationship as the INFP will feel suffocated and unloved due to the expressionless ISTJ. The ISTJ will be overwhelmed by the sheer volume of romantic ideas to try out in the relationship

Making plans 

When making plans, ISTJs focus on the specific steps they have to take to execute their plans. They are practical and so they make realistic achievable plans.

On the other hand, INFPs spend a lot of time talking about the overall goal or theme of the plan without having much interest in the details. As a result, they have a hard time following through with their plans.

This disparity will bring a rise to conflicts because the ISTJ will get annoyed with the poor planning skills of the INFP. The INFP will in turn feel very pressured and unhappy.

What ISTJs look for in relationships

ISTJs want the following things in a relationship:

  • Loyalty and devotion
  • They seek long-term serious relationships
  • They prefer a predictable structured relationship that is easy to maintain
  • They want a relationship where they are free and comfortable to maintain their traditions and values
  • They want a partner that is straightforward and precise in communicating needs and expectations
  • They prefer efficiency and practicality over romance and passion
  • They prefer dates to be well thought out and planned from beginning to end. For example, they will make reservations in advance, organize transportation, and carefully budget how they will spend the money. 
  • They want to know the direction and feasibility of a relationship before it starts and if it is worth their time.

What INFPs look for in relationships

INFPs want the following things in a relationship:

  • A protective partner who can look out for them
  • Emotional support
  • They want to be showered with love and affection
  • They want a romantic and passionate relationship
  • They crave spontaneity and excitement
  • They want to be free to express their ideas without getting shot down
  • They value autonomy
  • They need to be given time to be alone so they can recharge
  • They want someone who can clean up after them and maintain 

order without any complaints

The ISTJ and INFP personality

The INFP personality:

INFP stands for Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, and, Perceiving. It is one of the 16 personality types on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). 

INFPs are generally flexible, thoughtful, considerate, and faithful people. The INFP is guided by their inner values, morals and is very idealistic. The INFP will often personally invest and commit themselves to their projects.

The ISTJ personality:

The ISTJ (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Judging) is one of the 16 personality types on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). 

The ISTJ spends a lot of time alone (Introverted), is mainly drawn to facts, evidence, and details over theories and beliefs (Sensing), make decisions by methods of critical analysis and logical reasoning (Thinking) and like to weigh things against each other (Judging).

Characteristics of INFP and ISTJ personalities

Characteristics of an ISTJ:

  • They are earnest.
  • They are very thorough. 
  • They are very routine-oriented.
  • Have a no-nonsense attitude.
  • They do their tasks coherently by scheduling all activities carefully.
  • They always finish what they start. 
  • Any deviations from their plans are unwelcome unless there are proper reasons. 
  • The ISTJ is very dutiful.
  • They enjoy doing background and support work making things happen for others. 
  • They are focused.
  • They enjoy being alone.
  • They are strong-willed.
  • They are very persevering.
  • An ISTJ is very conservative.
  • They hate taking risks.
  • Faithfully honor all their commitments.

Characteristics of an INFP:

The following are the characteristics of an INFP:

●    INFPs value authenticity

●    They are very empathetic

●    They love harmony and peace

●    Have good intentions towards people

● They are discouraged when people do not agree with their idealism

●    They are thoughtful

●    They are naturally kindheartedness

●    They are generous

●    They are not manipulative or malicious

●    They are open-minded

● They are tolerant of other people’s beliefs, lifestyles, and decisions

●    They overflow with creativity and a wild imagination

●    Can connect with anyone very easily

●    They are very passionate about their beliefs

●    They are very reserved

●    Loyal to their principles and values

●    They have integrity

●    They tend to criticize themselves a lot

●    They are impractical

●    They can abandon all reason to chase their dreams or beliefs

●    They decide from a place of emotion

●    They avoid conflict

●    They like to please people

●    They tend to be self-conscious

●    Enjoy spending time alone as is natural for an introvert


This blog investigated the compatibility of a relationship between the ISTJ and INFP personalities. It explained what both INFPs and ISTJs look for in relationships. Additionally, it defined both personalities and outline their respective characteristics. This helped us understand their behavior in relating with others and themselves.

The following are the key areas of  a successful relationship:

  • Communication
  • Showing affection
  • Making plans

Thank you for reading this blog. Let us know if it was helpful in the comment section below.

Frequently Asked Questions: ISTJ and INFP relationship

Who is most compatible with INFP?

The INFP’s natural partner is the ENFJ or the ESFJ. INFP’s dominant function of Introverted Feeling is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Extraverted Feeling.

Who are ISTJs attracted to?

ISTJs are attracted to people who are just like them. People who are logical, focused, smart, orderly, and observant of rules and time.

Do ISTJ fall in love easily?

No, ISTJs do not fall in love easily. This is due to their emotional detachment which makes them attach importance to empirical concepts and not abstract concepts like love.

What do ISTJ hate?

ISTJs hate the following things:

Time wasters
Dirty and messy people
Breaking the rules
Emotional people

Do INFPs like hugs?

Yes, INFPs like hugs. It is one of the ways they express affection to those they love or are close to.

Why are INFPs so attractive?

INFPs are attractive because they are good listeners, people can get comfortable around them quickly and feel understood by them. 


Clawson J, G, (2008), ‘Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, Retrieved from 

Raya A. Jones, (2013), ‘Jung’s “Psychology with the Psyche” and the Behavioral Sciences’, Behavioral Science (Basel).  Published online 18/07/2013. doi: 10.3390/bs3030408

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