5 ISFJ Secrets You Would Love to Know (A guide)

In this brief guide, we will look at 5 amazing ISFJ secrets and some other related concepts of the ISFJ personality.

ISFJ Personality Secrets

It is no secret that the ISFJ personality is extremely capable of being emotionally and physically caring towards others, so much so that they are actually known as the “nurturers” or the “defenders”. 

Something that is however an ISFJ secret is that this personality type can fluctuate rather often between feeling and thinking, and they may do it quite easily, and this is made possible because both functions exist in their function stack right in the middle, which makes them quite good at feeling, but thinking is also quite prominent at the same time.

The secret to this switch is that the ISJF usually prioritizes feelings but they tend to d this more often when they have to make a decision that impacts people in some way.

When it comes to their own life, however, the ISFJ may frequently use the thinking function, rather than feeling, because this is their main subjective decision-making function. 

The ISFJ does not just use this secret superpower to be able to make decisions, they may also use this secret skill of thinking to enjoy learning about theories, models, and frameworks, and the ISFJ may also love the idea of troubleshooting or solving brain-related puzzles or games. 

The ISFJ also craves clarity and they might like looking at knowledge and researching what they are interested in to discover new facts or truths they didn’t know before, and once they have all this information they will almost certainly use it for the people around them. 

Because the ISFJ often seems so focused on the emotional support they keep providing to others, it may not be immediately obvious that they have this kind of capacity for thinking and learning, and therefore it remains a well-kept ISFJ secret in most cases and does not become apparent.

The last cognitive function in the ISFJ function stack is the extraverted intuition and this function enables the ISFJ to achieve some instinctual understanding of the world and they collect the information through this function just as much as others, but it tends to be more subconscious and outside their awareness.

The ISFJ secretly may be looking out for abstract ideas, endless possibilities, and new experiences through this fucntion, but they may not really know because this function is so far out of sight. 

ISFJ Secrets 1: They Need Support too

The typical ISFJ would love for you to know this secret because they find it so hard to express it themselves.

The ISFJ personality type is a typical SF type, which is according to the Jungian theory of personality types, are people who focus on the needs of others, and this may take people away from relaxing that they need to be supported just as much as others do,  in fact probably more so given how much time they spend supporting the other people.

The ISFJ personality secretly craves affection and others being there for them just like the Enneagram type 2 does and that may be a reason why they care as much as they tend to do because they are hoping that others will feel the same about them this way.

It could also be that helping others is something the ISFJ secretly ties their self-worth to, and therefore they may need positive feedback and for their efforts to be appreciated. 

Without positive things or appreciation or if they are criticism, ISFJs may feel quite discouraged and even depressed, because as mentioned above, there is a rather high likelihood that this personality type ties their sense of self-worth to their external behavior.

ISFJ Secrets 2: They can be Perfectionists

Perfectionism is usually a tendency one may expect from the personality types that are more NT types, but the ISFJ secret is that they can also be quite perfectionistic, likely due to the fact that their feeling and thinking functions are quite active.

This ISFJ tendency may be seen in the way they try their best in every situation, which may be a sign that they are quite the perfectionists. 

Of course, as with everyone else, perfectionism can be a strength and a weakness, for instance, in their rush or obsession to make everything in their lives, the ISFJ may feel like they are not doing enough even when they do exceptionally well.

To add to the problem, they not only care about their work or goals, like the typical thinkers, but they need to take care of others in their lives too, which may provide more ground for them to feel inadequate.

ISFJ Secrets 3: They can be Stubborn

While this is not something one may typically expect of the typical sensing and feeling type people, the ISFJ secret is also that they can be quite stubborn, but their reasons behind this trait may be different from, say, the ESTJ, who may be stubborn because they have set goals in mind and they are just about willing to do anything to achieve them.

Sometimes the ISFJ may be seen as somewhat judgmental as well, which may be weird considering how kind, generous, and comforting to others they are usually.

The reason behind this is that ISFJ tends to be something of a traditionalist who has strict values for morality and a rather rigid internal belief system they want to uphold, so while they are not exactly stubborn in what they want to achieve or anything, they can be quite stubborn about their principles.

ISFJ Secrets 4: They want people to Pay Attention

The ISFJ secretly knows if you get a new haircut or their coworker rearranges his desk, and the thing is, they want pretty much the same thing in return because in their mind they associate that with being attentive and maybe even affectionate, and lack of this attention may make them feel ignored or overlooked.

It is no secret that the ISFJ is deeply in tune with their environment, and they may find that they hate it when other people miss things about them that they might have noticed.

ISFJ Secrets 5: They are good thinkers

Since we have discussed this ISFJ trait somewhat it should be no secret that the ISFJ is just as capable of benign amazing thinkers and feeling-based people at the same time.

The typical ISFJ may show several traits that may look like they might be quite high on the thinking spectrum, and they may really like logic and hard data to make decisions when they are making decisions.

The ISFJ may also like to put on their introverted thinking caps and learn and seek knowledge rather often.

ISFJ Depression

Because the ISFJ tends to be more sentimental than logical, and they are introverted yet very oriented towards the emotions and feelings of people, they can be rather prone to depression, and they may show it slightly differently from how other personalities would.

The ISFJ is so oriented to people they may sometimes even be confused as being extroverts but the truth is that they are very much introverts and when the ISFJ is depressed, they will never turn externally towards people like an extrovert, they will always turn inward and get isolated and cut off from the world.

This causes even more problems in the ISFJ because they do need a lot of contact with people, as they have an extroverted feeling, and they may not handle isolation as well as someone with more introverted functions might.

Typically the ISFJs are happy individuals and are always seen as a big help to those around them, but when depressed, the ISFJ will not accept the kind of help they so usually offer to other people.

The ISFJ in depression might find themselves more isolated from the world around them and this condition may be worsened by the fact that they are simply too afraid to step out of their comfort zone or ask for the help they so desperately need.

The depressed ISFJ may also attempt to go back to things that have helped them feel better previously and try to somehow recapture the positive feelings from those experiences, but since depression does not respond to that particular trick, they may find that they just can’t seem to feel better.

When the repetition of past experiences does not help them, the depressed ISFJ may start to feel even more hopeless and helpless, and they may feel like they won’t feel better no matter what they do, so what is even the point of trying.

Their trials to make themselves feel better are reinforced in a negative way because they don’t feel better, and therefore they don’t feel like trying anymore, which can worsen the depression in ISFJ personality because staying active and outside of their thoughts is important for them to get out of their negative patterns.

The ISFJ in depression, like so many other people, needs the support of loved ones and their social circle, and having people around them who express how much they care for and want to help the ISFJ may really help them, and in fact, the lack of these things may even cause or worsen the ISFJ depression given how deeply attuned they are to the appreciation of others.

ISFJ Anxiety

ISFJ anxiety may be characterized by all the traits that are present in the clinical picture of anxiety, like fear and bodily symptoms, but one might hypothesize about why these may happen based on the ISFJ traits.

The fact we have established above is that the ISFJs have a need to please their loved ones and to care for them, while at the same time they need to feel this way from others too, and being appreciated for their actions and affection is something that they often motivate them and make them feel worthy and needed.

This need may sometimes cause problems, like anxiety, in the ISFJ, as this need can sometimes make these people feel overwhelmed. 

It is no secret that ISFJs want to make others happy but their introverted personality means they also need plenty of alone time, which means that when they always put others first and ignore their own need to be alone, it leads to the ISFJ becoming anxious and they may not know what is wrong till it is very wrong.

Conclusion

In this brief guide, we looked at 5 amazing ISFJ secrets and some other related concepts of the ISFJ personality. Please feel free to reach out to us with any questions or comments you have.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs): ISFJ Secrets

Who Should an ISFJ marry?

ISFJ should marry someone with an extroverted function, like ESTP.

The ISFJ’s dominant function of Introverted Sensing, which may mean that they could marry someone with extroverted sensing, like ESTP or ESTJ, thought he ESTJ may be too dominant for the ISFJ.

Who are ISFJ attracted to?

ISFJs may find themselves attracted to people who are charming and passionate.

Someone with a bit of mystery about them and someone that will appreciate all they do for people and who make it known that they care about the ISFJ is someone the ISFJ will be very attracted to as well. 

What makes an ISFJ happy?

Helping other people and caring for other people may make ISFJ happy.

The ISFJ may also be happy when they can learn new things and have new experiences, or when they are left alone to have some time with their thoughts.

The unhealthy ISFJ may find themselves being happy at others’ misery because that means they can finally help, but this is of course, wrong because this happiness comes at the expense of others.

Citations

https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2019/05/24/the-secret-you-didnt-know-about-each-introverted-myers-briggs-personality-type/

https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2018/08/20/the-unhealthy-coping-mechanisms-of-every-personality-type/

Divya is currently a Clinical Psychology Trainee in a Master of Philosophy program and holds a Master’s in clinical psychology. She has a special interest in Personality studies and disorders, having researched the subject before, and Neuropsychology; with an additional interest being Mood disorders. She likes to write about Psychiatric issues, having worked in multiple specialty setups during her time as a clinical psychology student, and in her free time she likes to cook and read.