ISFJ compatibility with INTJ (3 points)

This blog will discuss the ISFJ’s compatibility with the INTJ. It will further elaborate on what both personalities desire in romantic relationships. Lastly, it will define the ISFJ and INTJ personalities and outline their characteristics.

Is an ISFJ compatible with an INTJ?

The ISFJ and INTJ may not be compatible for a relationship due to the following factors:

  • ISFJs and INTJs do not get along
  • Their Feeling and Thinking Functions clash
  • The ISFJ and INTJ have different communication styles

ISFJs and INTJ do not get along well

The ISFJ and INTJ pairing offers opportunities to grow and pushes both personalities to overcome their shortcomings. However, these two personalities may not get along so well due to their differences in Functions and characteristics.

To begin with, the INTJ is a pragmatic and logical person who focuses on facts and is very objective. 

They seek to make the world a better place to live in by inventing new machines, technologies, and theories that can make tasks more efficient.

On the other hand, the ISFJ is more focused on helping people grow and develop as a way of making the world a better place. 

The ISFJ is initially also realistic and practical but they tend to lose all reason when their emotions are involved.

Their differences may result in frequent conflicts and possibly result in feelings of dissatisfaction with the relationship. However, this will push each individual to surpass their limits and get better.

The INTJ can also help the ISFJ to be more objective while the ISFJ can help the INTJ to be more considerate and empathetic.

This relationship can therefore offer room for growth and development in their areas of weakness however difficult it may be.

Their Feeling and Thinking Functions clash

The ISFJ possesses the Feeling function which drives them to be emotionally sensitive and responsive to their feelings and those of others.

As a result, they tend to be very considerate and empathetic towards people. This also entails that they tend to be biased and make their decisions according to their feelings at that particular moment.

In contrast, the INTJ has the Thinking function which drives them to pursue logical actions and be drawn to facts and evidence. This makes the INTJ emotionally detached and insensitive to the needs of others and themselves. 

They tend to ignore their feelings and barely notice the feelings of other people. The ISFJ’s feelings and emotions may therefore be ignored or go unattended to in this relationship. 

The INTJ may also be unable to meet the ISFJ’s need for words of affirmation and tenderness as they are also poor at verbally expressing their affection to those they love.

However, the ISFJ may find the INTJ’s lack of emotional expression as bland and annoying. They may feel like they are dating a robot that is cold and uncaring. 

Their functions do not interact well enough to form a harmonious relationship. It may as well be a disaster waiting to happen.

The ISFJ and INTJ have different communication styles

The communication style of both the ISFJ and INTJ personality types is very important if the relationship is to succeed. 

To begin with, the ISFJ communicates in a very straightforward and clear manner. They get straight to the point without elaborating so much on details leaving out information they deem unnecessary.

Similarly, the INTJ is also a straight talker who is very blunt and uncompromising in their speech. Like the ISFJ they get straight to the point and have no desire in prolonging conversations.

It is also worth noting that the ISFJ is quite expressive of their emotions and views and they tend to talk a little more than the average Introvert. It may be draining for them to try and keep conversations going with the aloof and reserved INTJ.

However, the problem arises when the blunt and straight talk of the INTJ begins to get on the nerves of the sensitive ISFJ. They may also get hurt by some of the inconsiderate criticisms and comments that the INTJ may make now and then.

What ISFJs look for in romantic relationships

The ISFJ seeks the following conditions to be happy in relationships:

  • ISFJs look for relationships built on established familiarity. They take dating very seriously and will only enter into relationships that have a real chance of lasting a lifetime. 
  • The ISFJ desires a committed romantic relationship. They want to have an exciting and passion-filled relationship as they are very emotional.  
  • A partner that will support the ISFJ and help them grow is very desirable as they search for stability and consistency in relationships.

What INTJs want in a romantic relationship

The INTJ desires the following conditions in a relationship to be happy: 

  • A relationship with a partner who is not passive-aggressive but can clearly state whatever is on their mind.
  • A partner who is not melodramatic and emotional but is instead emotionally stable and can control their temperament. 
  • A relationship that affords them much needed autonomy and freedom
  • A relationship in which they are the boss and calling all the shots and are being followed devotedly
  • A relationship with a partner who is smart enough to understand their theories and has a great appreciation for the sciences

The ISFJ personality

ISFJ stands for Introversion, Sensing, Feeling, and Judging. It is one of the 16 personality types on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). 

ISFJs usually come across as shy, quiet, and reserved. They however open up to their trusted close friends and friends. Their Feeling function makes them very sensitive and emotional, they are however capable of remaining calm during difficult situations.

The INTJ personality

The INTJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judging) is one of the 16 personality types identified by a personality assessment called the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). 

Sometimes referred to as the “Architect,” or the “Strategist,” people with INTJ personalities are highly analytical, creative, and logical.

The characteristics of the ISFJ personality type

The following are characteristics of an ISFJ:

  • ISFJs are people-orientated
  • They direct their attention to the needs of others
  • They generally look for the best in people 
  • The ISFJs place high importance on harmony and cooperation
  • They are conflict avoidant
  • The ISFJ wants to meet the needs of others.
  • An ISFJ is duty focused 
  • They adhere to traditions
  • They enjoy routines
  • They desire clear instructions
  • The ISFJ will naturally focus on the present and not be interested in future possibilities
  • They are hesitant to accept or implement changes

The characteristics of the INTJ personality type

 The following are the characteristics of an INTJ:

  • INTJs are dominantly introverted
  • They dislike teamwork 
  • They focus on theories over concrete details
  • They are logical and objective
  • They are not emotional 
  • They are planners
  • They usually have high expectations
  • They are good listeners
  • They are open to constructive criticism
  • They are very self-confident 
  • They are hard-working
  • They are not social
  • They are explorative of knowledge
  • They are creative 
  • They are self-motivated
  • INTJs dislike rules and traditions 

What ISFJs look for in relationships

  • ISFJs look for relationships built on established familiarity. They take dating very seriously and will only enter into relationships that have a real chance of lasting a lifetime. 
  • The ISFJ gives and desires a committed romantic relationship. They want to have an exciting and passion-filled relationship as they are very emotional.  
  • A partner that will support the ISFJ and help them grow is very desirable as they search for stability and consistency in relationships.

What INTJs look for in a romantic relationship

  • A relationship with a partner who communicates clearly and precisely.
  • A partner who is not melodramatic and emotional 
  • A relationship that affords them autonomy and freedom
  • A relationship in which they are the boss and are calling all the shots
  • A relationship with a partner who is smart enough to understand their theories and has no appreciation for the sciences

Conclusion

This blog discussed the ISFJ’s compatibility with the INTJ. It further elaborated on what both personalities desire in romantic relationships. Lastly, it defined the ISFJ and INTJ personalities and outlined their characteristics.

The ISFJ and INTJ may not be compatible for a relationship due to the following factors:

  • ISFJs and INTJs do not get along
  • Their Feeling and Thinking Functions clash
  • The ISFJ and INTJ have different communication styles

Thank you for reading this blog. Let us know your thoughts in the comment section below

Frequently Asked Questions: ISFJ compatibility with INTJ

What are ISFJs attracted to?

ISFJs are often attracted to people who are passionate, mysterious, confident, interesting, compassionate, and exciting. 

How do INTJs show affection?

INTJs show affection by creating time for their loved ones, buying them nice things, and getting involved in their projects. 

Who should INTJs marry?

The INTJ’s natural partner is the ENFP or the ENTP. INTJ’s dominant function of Introverted Intuition is best matched with a partner whose personality is dominated by Extraverted.

 

What are INTJs attracted to?

INTJs are attracted to people who can share their interests with them and get into truly interesting conversations about these passions.

Who should ISFJ marry?

The ISFJ’s natural partner is the ESTP or the ESFP. ISFJ’s dominant function of Introverted Sensing is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Extraverted Sensing.

What does ISFJ hate?

ISFJs hate it when:

  • People are inconsiderate.
  • People are messy
  • People lack diplomacy and manners
  • People disturb their routines
  • People are irresponsible and selfish

References

Clawson J, G, (2008), ‘Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/228146740_Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator 

‘Comparison of Insights Discovery System to Myers-Briggs Type Indicator report’, retrieved from http://www.insights.com/

Lewin K, (1935), A Dynamic Theory of Personality, McGraw-Hill; New York, NY, USA. PDF 

Raya A. Jones, (2013), ‘Jung’s “Psychology with the Psyche” and the Behavioral Sciences’, Behavioral Science (Basel). Published online 18/07/2013. doi: 10.3390/bs3030408

Divya is currently a Clinical Psychology Trainee in a Master of Philosophy program and holds a Master’s in clinical psychology. She has a special interest in Personality studies and disorders, having researched the subject before, and Neuropsychology; with an additional interest being Mood disorders. She likes to write about Psychiatric issues, having worked in multiple specialty setups during her time as a clinical psychology student, and in her free time she likes to cook and read.