INTJ Relationships (A Complete Guide)

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In this article, we will look at INTJ relationships, and the strengths and weaknesses of the INTJ personality type in relationships. This article also delves deep into the INTJ personality type in general.

INTJ Relationships

When it comes to relationships, INTJs appear to be, well to put it bluntly, dumb. They treat it with the same gravity with which they would handle any other challenge – with a vision and a well-thought-out strategy. The dominant function of Introverted Intuition in the INTJ personality is best matched with an Extraverted Intuition dominant partner.

Basically, for INTJs, finding a suitable companion is a struggle in and of itself, due to their high demands for an ideal spouse. And that’s where the issues begin, because finding the perfect companion who meets their criteria is nearly impossible.

INTJ Strengths in Relationships 

  • They are not fazed by disagreements or criticism
  • They are usually self-assured
  • They treat their commitments and relationships seriously.
  • Generally speaking, they are incredibly intelligent and capable.
  • They are willing to leave a relationship that should be dissolved, even if they may think about it for a long time afterwards.
  • They want to “optimise” their relationships.
  • They are excellent listeners who pay attention

INTJ Weaknesses in Relationships 

  • Not inherently sensitive to the sentiments of others; can be insensitive sometimes
  • Feelings and emotions aren’t something they are naturally great at expressing.
  • They have a tendency to assume that they are always correct.
  • Unwillingness or inability to bear blame
  • Their persistent desire to better everything could put a strain on their relationships.
  • They have a tendency to keep a part of themselves hidden.
  • Instead of the anticipated emotional support, may react to conflicts with logic and common sense.

If you’re facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.

INTJ Compatibility 

INTJ Top Matches

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INTJ Good Matches

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INTJ Possible Matches


INTJ Worst Matches

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The INTJ Lover

INTJs spend a lot of their time in their minds. Occasionally, what they intuitively perceive and comprehend is more pure and “perfect” than the actuality of a close personal relationship. INTJs may find it difficult to reconcile their realities with their fantasies.

INTJs aren’t inherently in touch with their own feelings or the sentiments of others. They are also prone to believing that they are always correct. While their self-assurance and self-esteem are appealing, their lack of sensitivity to others can be an issue if it causes them to damage their partner’s feelings unintentionally.

If this is an issue for an INTJ, they should remember to let their partner be the one to be right on occasion, and to be sensitive to the emotional impact of their remarks. INTJs must remember to be accommodating of their partners’ emotional needs in crisis situations, rather than considering the dispute as a fascinating topic to explore.

The INTJ Function Stack

Here is a breakdown of the INTJ Function Stack:

DominantIntroverted Intuition (Ni)
AuxiliaryExtraverted Thinking (Te)
TertiaryIntroverted Feeling (Fi)
InferiorExtraverted Sensing (Se)

A Closer Look At The INTJ Functions 

Dominant Function: Introverted Intuition (Ni)

Intuition is known as being the most conscious function of dominant Intuitives like INTJs. While it is possible that INTJs are more aware of their intuition than most other personality types, we must keep in mind that Ni is a Perceiving function. 

While INTJs might well have easier access to the inner processes and workings, they still don’t have complete leverage. Ni can seem magical or divine at times due to its foresight and level of understanding. 

Extraverted Sensing (Se), the inferior function of INTJs, unwittingly receives large amounts of sensory input from the outside environment. This information is then redirected to Ni, which attempts to create an understanding of it.

Introverted intuition is the potential to use mental analysis observation, logical reasoning, and intuition to explain how the universe works. 

Ni users will quickly identify trends and patterns that will give rise to a certain result in the future. They have powerful hunches and “gut” instincts that are linked to an implicit perceptual data synthesis.

Auxiliary Function: Extraverted Thinking (Te)

Although Ni is a holistic and analysing function, Te, the auxiliary function of INTJs, is a left-brain feature. The left hemisphere is empirical, theoretical, scientific, and formal by nature. 

It deconstructs objects into their component elements, labels them, explains their roles, and establishes their connections with other parts.

Quantitative analysis and the setting of concrete targets and expectations are both important aspects of a Te-based strategy. It uses straightforward meanings, rules, strategies, and processes that are neither unclear or confusing. 

Te’s main purpose is to make it scientifically understandable, allowing for easier control, analysis, and regulation by humans.

Tertiary Function: Introverted Feeling (Fi)

It would be an error to believe that INTJs are unfeeling and expressionless bots, given their inclination toward Te over Fi. 

The main issue with INTJs is that their feelings and beliefs always get lost in translation, irrespective of how powerful they are. Since their favourite Feeling function (Fi) is introverted, we assume that INTJs’ feelings are difficult to interpret.

The capacity to comprehend one’s own thoughts and feelings in depth. Fi users have a solid moral conscience and are committed to being faithful to themselves and their identities. 

Fi is linked to intense emotional commitments with a small number of people. When it comes to expending emotional energy, Fi is more narrowly focused and selective.

Inferior Function: Extraverted Sensing (Se)

In the MBTI type community, the value of the inferior function has always been overlooked. It is the most unconscious of all the four functions, often referred to as “stifled,” “restricted,” or “restrained.” It’s also the hardest to get to, grasp, and incorporate.

INTJs are less attentive to the facts or aspects of life due to Se (their inferior function). Although Se brings in a lot of sensory information from the outside environment, INTJs are more likely to provide a Ni synthesis of that information. 

As a result, they see the world through the filter of Ni experiences rather than registering specific environmental information (Se). As a result, they can appear to be indifferent to their surroundings.

7 Interesting Facts About The INTJ Personality

  • The INTJ personality type is the third most rare in the population, and the most rare personality type among women. INTJs account for 2% of the total population.
  • Because INTJs are known for being diligent, meticulous, persistent, and principle-driven, they “naturally” meet a good amount of the official DSM symptoms for OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder).
  • In your thoughts, there’s always a “correct way” to do things, whether it’s how to make a sandwich or how to put groceries into your cart. As a consequence, you’re irritated when somebody doesn’t stick to the “plan.”
  • When they’re around close friends, you’re an entirely different person than when they’re with strangers. They may be silly, charming, and wildly humorous with those in their “close circle,” but they are restrained with those who aren’t in their “inner circle.”
  • They never feel like they’ve done enough, no matter what they accomplish. This is what drives them to achieve greatness, but it also makes them constantly critical of themselves and their accomplishments. They constantly feel like they ought to be on top of something greater.
  • When faced with a personal crisis, their natural instinct is to seek answers and remedies rather than just sympathise with the individual. This inclination is shared by both male and female INTJs, and INTJs of all genders are infamously unhuggable – even when they might use some cheering up.
  • It’s physically exhausting to talk about trivial issues, and it’s difficult to avoid daydreaming during casual conversation or small talk for them. They’re more likely to be thinking about new technology, space exploration, humanity’s evolution, the origins of the universe, or conflicting theories about the universe. When they meet someone who can talk about these things with them, they keep them close like a prized possession.


In this article, we looked at INTJ relationships, and the strengths and weaknesses of the INTJ personality type in relationships. This article also delves deep into the INTJ personality type in general.

Frequently Asked Questions: INTJ Relationships

What are INTJs attracted to?

INTJs are drawn to persons with whom they can envision a future, as well as those who are transparent and upfront with them. Intellect is also vital to an INTJ; intelligence, inventiveness, and intellectualism are all significant qualities that INTJs value in their partners.

Do INTJ like hugs?

Since INTJs aren’t very expressive or vulnerable, hugging their loved ones can be a great way for them to prove they care. It is believed that INTJs are not fond of physical touch, although this is not necessarily the case.

What makes an INTJ happy?

When granted the right to do whatever they want, INTJs are happiest. When it comes to intimate partners, they need someone who is similarly self-sufficient to make things work.

What is Ni in INTJ?

Introverted intuition (Ni) is the INTJ’s primary dominant function, and extraverted thinking is their secondary or auxiliary function (Te). Ni (introverted intuition) is what makes INTJs filter knowledge subconsciously, and it is always at work.

How do INTJ react to stress?

Signs of INTJ Stress:
Losing concentration, being disorganised and distracted. Reacting inappropriately about what others say or do. Accusing others of slight errors or logical inaccuracies. Developing a complicated hypothesis to describe a single or two separate facts.


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