In this article, we will look at a few common INTJ relationship problems. This article explores the INTJ personality and the relationship problems that come with this rare personality type.
7 INTJ Relationship Problems
- Not inherently sensitive to the sentiments of their partner
- Not great at expressing feelings and emotions
- They have a tendency to assume that they are always correct
- Unwillingness or inability to bear blame
- Desire to better everything which puts a strain on their relationships
- Tendency to keep a part of themselves hidden.
- React to conflicts with a logical approach instead of emotional support
Not inherently sensitive to the sentiments of their partner
INTJs are not inherently sensitive to the sentiments of their partner and can be insensitive sometimes. Whenever it comes to understanding their own or another person’s feelings, INTJs can be perplexed. They have a tendency to discount their partner’s intense feelings as unreasonable and complex, which can lead to disappointment.
Not great at expressing feelings and emotions
Feelings and emotions aren’t something INTJs are naturally great at expressing. Obviously, their Thinking function takes over even at moments when emotional connection is necessary. The INTJ needs to understand that not every relationship problem can be solved with logic and rationale and that sometimes all their partner needs is a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. INTJs need to work on their tertiary feeling function and loosen up a bit in the feeling department if they want their relationships to succeed.
Check How to make an INTJ feel loved.
They have a tendency to assume that they are always correct
They have a tendency to assume that they are always correct. In an INTJs mind, there’s always a “correct way” to do things, whether it’s how to make a sandwich or how to put groceries into your cart. As a consequence, you’re irritated when somebody doesn’t stick to the “plan.” Everything has to go according to plan or else they are bound to be disappointed. The INTJ Thinking function drives them to the point of madness at times.
Unwillingness or inability to bear blame
INTJs sometimes show unwillingness or inability to bear blame. When faced with a personal crisis, their natural instinct is to seek answers and remedies rather than just sympathise with the individual. This inclination is shared by both male and female INTJs, and INTJs of all genders are infamously unhuggable.
Desire to better everything which puts a strain on their relationships
INTJs have a persistent desire to be better at everything and this can put a strain on their relationships. When you think of the INTJ OCD is what comes to mind! Because INTJs are recognised for being meticulous, insistent, and principle-driven, they “automatically” exhibit a large number of symptoms from the official DSM OCPD criteria (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder). This is another thing that makes relationships challenging for them. Everything has to be picture perfect.
Tendency to keep a part of themselves hidden
They have a tendency to keep a part of themselves hidden. INTJs are perhaps the most private of introverts, rarely sharing their thoughts with others. This may create the appearance that they are not interested in or attracted to their spouse. Furthermore, they rarely voice their views, which can be perplexing to their partner.
Architects use this time to recharge their batteries and make ambitious plans. They detest interruptions and would never substitute any other activity for their alone time.
React to conflicts with a logical approach instead of emotional support
Instead of providing the anticipated emotional support that any partner or spouse would want, INTJ may react to conflicts with logic and common sense. INTJs are Thinking types and are not in touch with the Feeling function which makes them rely on logic even for navigating through their relationship problems. What happens is that the INTJ partner may fail to see the emotional aspect of a situation and oftentimes completely disregard it.
The INTJ Lover
INTJs spend a lot of their time in their minds. Occasionally, what they intuitively perceive and comprehend is more pure and “perfect” than the actuality of a close personal relationship. INTJs may find it difficult to reconcile their realities with their fantasies.
INTJs aren’t inherently in touch with their own feelings or the sentiments of others. They are also prone to believing that they are always correct. While their self-assurance and self-esteem are appealing, their lack of sensitivity to others can be an issue if it causes them to damage their partner’s feelings unintentionally.
If this is an issue for an INTJ, they should remember to let their partner be the one to be right on occasion, and to be sensitive to the emotional impact of their remarks. INTJs must remember to be accommodating of their partners’ emotional needs in crisis situations, rather than considering the dispute as a fascinating topic to explore.
INTJ Weaknesses in Relationships
- Not inherently sensitive to the sentiments of others; can be insensitive sometimes
- Feelings and emotions aren’t something they are naturally great at expressing.
- They have a tendency to assume that they are always correct.
- Unwillingness or inability to bear blame
- Their persistent desire to better everything could put a strain on their relationships.
- They have a tendency to keep a part of themselves hidden.
- Instead of the anticipated emotional support, may react to conflicts with logic and common sense.
If you’re facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.
INTJ Breakups
When INTJs decide to end a relationship, they can casually dismiss the other person without feeling bad. This is because their thinking had already convinced them that the individual was not “the one for them.”
When it comes to a split with someone to whom they had a strong attachment, they are anything but casual.
INTJs, on the other hand, use their good reasoning and logic to support the breakup process even in these situations. They can nearly quickly resume their work by engaging themselves in a new task or project.
The reality that they don’t prioritise emotions and are extremely self-reliant makes the whole breakup process much easier for them.
The INTJ Function Stack
Here is a breakdown of the INTJ Function Stack:
| Function | |
| Dominant | Introverted Intuition (Ni) |
| Auxiliary | Extraverted Thinking (Te) |
| Tertiary | Introverted Feeling (Fi) |
| Inferior | Extraverted Sensing (Se) |
Dominant Function: Introverted Intuition (Ni)
Intuition is known as being the most conscious function of dominant Intuitives like INTJs. While it is possible that INTJs are more aware of their intuition than most other personality types, we must keep in mind that Ni is a Perceiving function.
Auxiliary Function: Extraverted Thinking (Te)
Although Ni is a holistic and analysing function, Te, the auxiliary function of INTJs, is a left-brain feature. The left hemisphere is empirical, theoretical, scientific, and formal by nature. It deconstructs objects into their component elements, labels them, explains their roles, and establishes their connections with other parts.
Tertiary Function: Introverted Feeling (Fi)
It would be an error to believe that INTJs are unfeeling and expressionless bots, given their inclination toward Te over Fi.
The main issue with INTJs is that their feelings and beliefs always get lost in translation, irrespective of how powerful they are. Since their favourite Feeling function (Fi) is introverted, we assume that INTJs’ feelings are difficult to interpret.
Inferior Function: Extraverted Sensing (Se)
In the MBTI type community, the value of the inferior function has always been overlooked. It is the most unconscious of all the four functions, often referred to as “stifled,” “restricted,” or “restrained.” It’s also the hardest to get to, grasp, and incorporate.
INTJs are less attentive to the facts or aspects of life due to Se (their inferior function). Although Se brings in a lot of sensory information from the outside environment, INTJs are more likely to provide a Ni synthesis of that information.
Conclusion
In this article, we will look at a few common INTJ relationship problems. This article explores the INTJ personality and the relationship problems that come with this rare personality type.
Frequently Asked Questions: 7 INTJ Relationship Problems
Do INTJs fall in love easily?
Because INTJs are not emotionally influenced, the process of falling in love is veiled by intellectual attraction and appreciation. INTJs frequently fall for folks who are genuine and who are able to stimulate the INTJs’ intellect.
How do INTJs show love?
The INTJs’ lifestyle appears to be devoid of any traditional ways of expressing love. Architects generally display their love by encouraging and supporting their partners’ goals.
What are INTJs attracted to?
INTJs are drawn to persons with whom they can envision a future, as well as those who are transparent and upfront with them. Intellect is also vital to an INTJ; intelligence, inventiveness, and intellectualism are all significant qualities that INTJs value in their partners.
Do INTJ like hugs?
Since INTJs aren’t very expressive or vulnerable, hugging their loved ones can be a great way for them to prove they care. It is believed that INTJs are not fond of physical touch, although this is not necessarily the case.
What makes an INTJ happy?
When granted the right to do whatever they want, INTJs are happiest. When it comes to intimate partners, they need someone who is similarly self-sufficient to make things work.
What is Ni in INTJ?
Introverted intuition (Ni) is the INTJ’s primary dominant function, and extraverted thinking is their secondary or auxiliary function (Te). Ni (introverted intuition) is what makes INTJs filter knowledge subconsciously, and it is always at work.
How do INTJ react to stress?
Signs of INTJ Stress:
Losing concentration, being disorganised and distracted. Reacting inappropriately about what others say or do. Accusing others of slight errors or logical inaccuracies. Developing a complicated hypothesis to describe a single or two separate facts.
References
INTJ (Architects) Relationships Handbook – Compatibilities and Best Matches, Dating & Love