INTJ compatibility with an INFP(3 areas)

This blog will answer the question “How compatible is an INTJ with an INFP in relationships?”, outline the characteristics of both personalities, and use them to determine how compatible they are with each other.

  • Communication
  • Principles and values
  • Commitment Levels
  • Emotional connection and intimacy

How compatible is an INTJ with an INFP in relationships?

By comparing and contrasting the characteristics of an INFP and INTJ we can establish their compatibility with confidence.

Below are some key areas of interest necessary for a successful relationship:

Communication

Communication is essential for any relationship to succeed. The INTJ and INFP relationship is no exception to this rule. 

The INTJ’s communication style is very logical and practical and they are very forthcoming about what they need and expect from a partner.

However, this is usually not done assertively but in a very cold and detached manner. 

This often leaves their partner feeling hurt and insecure. Unfortunately, the INFP is the type to be easily discouraged when criticized or harshly talked to. 

Additionally, INFPs constantly criticize themselves and are conflict avoidant. Therefore, it would be difficult for these two personalities to connect or agree through words as one is too logical and the other too sensitive.

Emotional connection and intimacy

INFPs are individuals who are very in touch and aware of their emotions. They can easily express how they feel and even make decisions on the basis of their emotions. 

In a relationship, an INFP is a high maintenance in terms of emotional needs and affection. They need to be constantly affirmed and showered with love. 

On the other hand, an ISTJ poorly communicates or pays attention to their own emotions. Furthermore, they cannot understand the emotions of others or respond appropriately to them. 

With regards to intimacy ISTJs are not romantic at all. They are uncomfortable with public displays of affection which can make a relationship bland void of excitement. 

Pairing these two personalities up would therefore be quite disastrous. The ISTJ would quickly tire of trying to fulfill the emotional needs of the INFP. While the INFP will never be emotionally satisfied by those efforts.

Commitment levels

The ISTJ is known to be very dutiful, loyal, and committed. They have no problems fulfilling their obligations and always finish what they start. 

They despise change and are very routine-oriented and these are the behaviors they bring to a relationship. 

However, the INFP is more of a free spirit who does things in an unstructured manner. They are constantly fantasizing and would not do quite well in a routine relationship lacking spontaneity. 

With regards to commitment, the INFP can abandon the relationship if they see or envision something better. 

This mismatch in commitment levels would result in a turbulent and unhappy relationship for the INFP and ISTJ.

Principles and values

The principles and values that people hold play a big role in whether or not their relationships succeed. 

To begin with, ISTJs are set in their ways, they strictly adhere to all rules and regulations and are often very traditional. They are not open to new ways of doing things and prefer an approach they have tried and tested to be true. 

On the other hand, the INFP is very open-minded, contemplative, and playful. They can be very accommodating of the values of other people and willing to listen to their point of view. 

The INFP can therefore readily compromise and come to some sort of agreement with an ISTJ partner’s principles or values. 

However, the same is not true with the ISTJ who can never compromise his/her values to accommodate their INTP partner or come to a consensus with them. 

The ISTJ stubbornly maintains its stand even if it inconveniences them. Therefore, two cannot walk together unless they agree.

What are the characteristics of the INTJ and INFP?

The INFP’s characteristics are as follows:

  • INFPs value authenticity
  • They are very empathetic
  • They love harmony and peace
  • Have good intentions towards people
  • They are discouraged when people do not agree with their idealism
  • They are thoughtful
  • They are naturally kindheartedness
  • They are generous
  • They are not manipulative or malicious
  • They are open-minded
  • They are tolerant of other people’s beliefs, lifestyles, and decisions
  • They overflow with creativity and a wild imagination
  • Can connect with anyone very easily
  • They are very passionate about their beliefs
  • They are very reserved
  • Loyal to their principles and values
  • They have integrity
  • They tend to criticize themselves a lot
  • They are impractical
  • They can abandon all reason to chase their dreams or beliefs
  • They decide from a place of emotion
  • They avoid conflict
  • They like to please people
  • They tend to be self-conscious
  • Enjoy spending time alone as is natural for an introvert

INTJ characteristics are as follows:

  • They are earnest.
  • They are very thorough.
  • They are very routine-oriented.
  • Have a no-nonsense attitude.
  • They do their tasks coherently by scheduling all activities carefully.
  • They always finish what they start.
  • Any deviations from their plans are unwelcome unless there are proper reasons.
  • The ISTJ is very dutiful.
  • They enjoy doing background and support work making things happen for others.
  • They are focused.
  • They enjoy being alone.
  • They are strong-filled based.
  • They are very persevering.
  • An ISTJ is very conservative and
  • They hate taking risks.
  • Faithfully honor all their commitments
  • They are dutiful

Conclusion

This blog answered the question “How compatible is an INTJ with an INFP in relationships?”, it outlined the characteristics of both personalities and used their characteristics to determine how compatible they are with each other.

We can safely conclude that the INFP and ISTJ personality are not very compatible with each other due to the differences in the following key areas of a relationship:

Communication

ISTJs are critics who communicate poorly while INFPs are sensitive to criticism. Resultantly, communication would be difficult in a relationship.

Principles and values

ISTJs stand firm on their principles and would never accommodate the views of others. The INFP is open-minded and would probably accept the values of the INTJ but they will never be accepted by the INTJ.

Commitment levels

The INTJ has higher commitment levels than the INFP who is very relaxed in this area. The INTJ is at risk of being abandoned by the INFP to fulfill personal goals that may not necessarily be substantial.

Emotional connection and intimacy

The ISTJ is very rational and less emotional while the INFP is very emotional and less rational. This disparity can bring about dissatisfaction in the INFP whose emotional needs will most likely be neglected.

Frequently Asked Questions: How compatible is an INTJ with an INFP in relationships?

Why do INTJs like INFPs?

INTJ like the INFP because they get to logically examine their idealism and find flaws in it. INTJs do not particularly like this and find it to be very unpleasant.

What do INFPs think of INTJs?

INFPs think that INTJs are intriguing because of their pragmatic approach to decision-making. INTJs speak with absolute confidence and authority when talking about their areas of interest and this too is very intriguing to the INFP.

Who should the INFP marry?

The  INFP’s natural partner is the ENFJ or the ESFJ. INFP’s dominant function of Introverted Feeling is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Extraverted Feeling.

Why are INFPs dangerous?

INFPs have an inborn desire to overcome and conquer anyone weaker than them. They can become fiery and dangerously competitive when they are challenged.

What MBTI has the highest IQ?

All intuition-dominant personalities have a very high IQ. These are the INTJ, INFJ, ENTP, and ENFP and they score very high on IQ tests. On top of that, the thinking dominants INTP and ENTJ also score higher than average on IQ tests.

Can INFP and INTJ be friends?

No, it can be quite difficult for INFPs and INTJs to be friends because INTJs are overly critical of INFPs’ emotions and ideas. This can be very unpleasant for the INFP who would not want a friend like that.

References.

Clawson J, G, (2008), ‘Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/228146740_Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator

‘Comparison of Insights Discovery System to Myers-Briggs Type Indicator report’, retrieved from http://www.insights.com/

Erik Thor, (2020), ‘INTJ INFP relationship’, Retrieved from https://www.erikthor.com/2020/09/13/intj-infp-relationship/

Lewin K, (1935), A Dynamic Theory of Personality, McGraw-Hill; New York, NY, USA. PDF 

Divya is currently a Clinical Psychology Trainee in a Master of Philosophy program and holds a Master’s in clinical psychology. She has a special interest in Personality studies and disorders, having researched the subject before, and Neuropsychology; with an additional interest being Mood disorders. She likes to write about Psychiatric issues, having worked in multiple specialty setups during her time as a clinical psychology student, and in her free time she likes to cook and read.