The INFJ Stare: All You Need To Know

In this brief article we will discuss what the INFJ stare is and how it is perceived by others. We will also look at what makes this gaze so intense..

What is the INFJ stare like?

One word. Intense. 

For those of you who are in the dark, the INFJs are known to have a characteristic stare, which is described as intense and has a penetrating quality to it. 

So the thing is that INFJs don’t actually realize that they have a ‘stare’ until it is pointed out by someone. When someone does point them out they have to make a conscious effort to not scare people off or intimidate them with ‘the stare’. 

INFJs don’t mean to intimidate people with the stare however it does impact people in more ways than one. Some get intimidated, some are intrigued and others find themselves being attracted by that intense gaze.

INFJ eyes are the most prominent and prevailing part of their faces.

What makes the INFJs intenself focused is their combined cognitive processes: Introverted Intuition (Ni) coupled with Extraverted Sensing (Se). When these two mental processes combine they give rise to the INFJ stare.

What lies behind this intense gaze?

So what lies behind this intense gaze? Ni dominant eyes have the qualities of focus and steadiness with which they are able to aim at the object of their interest. They also tend to blink sparingly while having their gaze directed at anything that piques their interest. 

Another possibility could be that the INFJ might be in deep thought because this intense stare is also their thinking expression. When they are in their head and lost in their thoughts their eyes appear to zone out and seem out of focus.

Ni eyes also have a penetrating quality to them and the gaze might seem piercing. It almost feels as if their gaze pierces through their object of interest instead of just remaining fixated on it, and falls into a dream like state. At all times, the INFJ eyes have a penetrative quality which is characteristic of them. 

Bottomline is the INFJ stare. It is inevitable. Their stare may have different feelings behind it, which may not always be romantic amorous feelings as most people misinterpret; it could be compassion, longing, anger, love or anything in between. They are very much in touch with their emotions because they are also Feeling types. Their eyes may seek to communicate feelings at times.

It could also be that if you find an INFJ staring at you, you have piqued their interest, or roused their curiosity. They simply may be analyzing you or probably judging your intentions because they can also intuit a person’s intentions by looking at them. 

They have a knack for picking on very subtle cues that most normal people would miss out on and analysing body language, gestures and even the finest of movements. They miss out on almost nothing and this makes them master observers and analyzers.

Why are INFJs so intense?

INFJs are known for their intensity. They are people of extremes and know no balance.

This intensity is not only projected outward but it also overwhelms the INFJ and is the cause of the dreaded INFJ burnout. Seemingly calm INFJ, actually have a whole lot of stuff going on inside. 

INFJ possess a deep seated desire to find depth and meaning in everything. Yes, everything!

This is all an effort to find their purpose since these people consider a life without purpose not worth living. Their strong desire to find their purpose and to find meaning is a constant ongoing battle for them.

INFJs are not into plain stuff. They are into complicated things. They like to get into intricacies and look into the complex details of things. It just makes more sense to them than merely being concerned with the surface level of things. They are intense people and like to delve deep into just about anything they choose to commit to.

Passion is the word. Their passion is boundless and is especially when it comes to love. They love fiercely and with such intensity that very few are able to make sense of it.

Speculation and Scrutiny

INFJs tend to become the target of many people’s scrutiny and it’s because they come off as a mystery. Their eyes are a total puzzle for most people and they want to know what lies behind them. Some people also find themselves to be disarmed by the INFJ stare.

Many INFJs get tired of being called intense and unapproachable, and they might even try to smile and soften their gaze in order to seem more open and approachable. 

However, INFJs do not tend to stare long because their auxiliary feeling function kicks in soon enough and nudges them back into consciousness and makes them want to not make other people uncomfortable.

They are constantly told that they make people uncomfortable by the way they look and are often asked “Do you do it on purpose?”. The short answer is, no, they don’t, it’s just that they are built this way and they can’t help it.

When talking with an INFJ, you may notice that sometimes they stare into the distance or zone out. When this happens don’t get offended, just know that they are in thought, in very very deep thought.

Paradoxical Traits of INFJ

INFJs are interesting and have many paradoxical traits to them. Let’s explore a few of them.

  • People tend to both fascinate and drain them
  • They fully understand other’s emotions yet their own emotions are so complex that they struggle with them
  • They think big yet they tend to sweat the small stuff
  • They are seemingly calm but have chaos on the inside
  • They believe in fighting for others but when it comes to themselves neglect their own selves
  • They crave sensual experiences but somehow feel disconnected from this world 
  • They love to plan beforehand but also like spontaneity
  • They seem aloof and struggle to open up but they deeply crave intimacy
  • They always understand others yet they themselves are some of the most misunderstood people


In this brief article we discussed what the INFJ stare is and how it is perceived by others. We also looked at what makes this gaze so intense.

Frequently Asked Questions: INFJ Stare

What are INFJ eyes like?

An INFJ is likely to have very intense eyes and they tend to make direct eye contact. Their eyes are also somewhat hypnotic.

Do INFJ care about looks?

INFJs tend to fluctuate between extremes. They are perfectionists so either they look perfectly put together or do not care about appearance at all. These are the two extremes they fluctuate between. 

How do you spot an INFJ?

The INFJ are extremely rare so you won’t have much difficulty spotting them.
In case you want to confirm here are a few traits of the INFJ to help you fish them out:
An intense gaze
They have a calming aura
They possess magnetism
They have an insatiable curiosity
They have a creative streak 
They value deep friendships and bonds
They retreat because they need their alone time more than most other people

Are INFJs good liars?

INFJs are very unlikely to lie because they value the truth.

Why do INFJ cry so much?

Most of the time, INFJ try to put up a strong front in front of their loved ones and hold back tears so as not to upset them. However, INFJs tend to cry in their alone time because  they need to release their intense pent up feelings.

Why are INFJs so intense?

INFJs have a desire to find depth and meaning in just about everything which makes them come off as intense.

What do INFJs find attractive?

The thing that attracts INFJ the most is passion. They find themselves attracted to passionate individuals just like themselves. INFJs are also very compassionate and they are into people who share their compassion and actually care about others genuinely instead of just being wrapped up in themselves. Self centeredness and snobbishness is a major turn off for these people.

Are Infj manipulative?

INFJs do not always use their strengths for the greater good and when time calls for it they can be master manipulators. They can find people’s weak points even by picking up on very subtle cues and manipulate them to get what they need.

Can INFJs be evil?

INFJs have deeply engraved moral values and tend to act morally most of the time. Before acting in a n evil manner they will most likely shut the person out, however, if the person who has wronged them still comes after them then they have no problem being evil.

Are INFJs lazy?

Yes, INFJs are considered to be lazy people especially when it comes to conventional duties. The dull and mundane tasks of daily life tend to bore them and they would rather laze around than do chores. The reason behind this is that they want to do big things so small things are of little to no interest for them. 

Why do INFJs feel so alone?

Being feeling types, the INFJ tend to become therapists for those around them and tend to their emotional needs leaving their own emotions untended to and this burden of being loaded with other people’s feelings yet having almost no one to turn to themselves can make them feel very alone and even alienated.


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