This article will talk about why someone may hate small talk and what they can do about it. Furthermore, the article will highlight the benefits of small talk and why it is very important for the fabric of society. Lastly, the article will highlight the personality type that prefers not to engage in small talk.
I Hate Small Talk – 3 Reasons Why
Here are 3 reasons why someone may hate small talk:
- No In-Depth Conversation
- Don’t Know How To Do It
- Purposeless Talk
Let us take a look at these 3 reasons in more detail!
No In Depth Conversation
The fact that small talk has no in-depth conversation is why someone may just hate engaging in it. Small talk is all about talking in a manner where you stay at the surface level and don’t dare to go any deeper; you may discuss the weather, how someone you both know is doing and what is generally going on in life. You guys will avoid topics that are quite specific in nature, probably personal and may require more honesty and criticism.
Nonetheless, even though such conversations may suit some people who are not so confrontational or want to avoid talking about a specific topic, others will absolutely hate it.
Don’t Know How To Do It
One reason why people may not like small talk is because they just don’t know how to do it. They don’t know how to flawlessly initiate a conversation or sustain it; this may be because they are shy or too unconfident. Whatever the reason may be, they are just not able to do it and hence they hate the idea of having to engage in it.
Some people think small talk is purposeless and hence they think it is useless to engage in it and very well hate it of course! What use is it to talk about the weather or how their morning was or what they had for breakfast.
Introverts – Are They Cut Out For Small Talk
The major reason why introverts hate small talk is because not only do they not like it but it does not come to them naturally. In this section, we will generally take a look at who an introvert is!
Introverts – Who Are They?
Introverts are more focused on their inner world rather than the outer one. They will expend more time and effort to understand it through thinking, reflecting, imagining and other mental processes . They hence engage in behaviours that allow them to focus on their inner world of thoughts; they are seen as quiet, focused and in the state of ‘reflecting’.
Introverts prefer solitude because this helps them focus on what they love doing. Also, for most introverts, it is just too much of the effort to intermingle and interact with others. Sometimes it is awkward for them or causes them too much anxiety. At other times, it may be because they have to make much effort to focus on what to say or when to say as they take in too much information and find it difficult on how to filter it out. Nonetheless, they prefer spending more time alone rather than with people.
Introverts are intuitive which means they don’t always focus on the facts or what is in front of them. Yes they very much appreciate logic and the relationships they can see however, this does not stop them from thinking out of the box. People who are intuitive are known for making many discoveries in world history and this does not happen by just ordinary thinking; they must go beyond the scope they are given! They give value to their vision, dreams and even imagination and combine that with what they already have in their hands.
Is Small Talk Really Useless?
Let us take a look at reasons why small talk may not be useless after all!
Here are reasons why small talk is actually useful:
- Helps Make Others Feel Comfortable
- Prepares You For A Serious Discussion
- Defines The Fabric Of Society
- Fills In The Empty Silence
- Creates Opportunities
Let us take a look at them one by one!
Helps Make Others Feel Comfortable
When we engage in small talk it makes us feel comfortable around others and allows us to establish relationships. We may not always have a big topic to discuss or a good enough reason to approach someone else to begin a conversation hence small talk is something that is easy to do and seems pretty much harmless.
Many researchers have also pointed out that small talk allows us to feel comfortable with the other person and hence we can actually open up or discuss more things. It gives you a way to create a context and hence pursue deeper relationships. Afterall, relationships don’t start with something big; they begin because of the small things that capture our attention.
Prepares You For A Serious Discussion
Sometimes in life we have to engage in serious discussions. Despite both parties knowing what is coming, it may be difficult to engage in something like that or actually initiate the conversation. In some cases the words may not be coming out of your mouth and hence you don’t know what to do or what to say.
The trick here is to actually find a simple thing to say such as commenting on the weather or asking the people at the table if they want a glass of water. Nonetheless, when people begin to talk it is easier to actually shift over to the main discussion.
Hence, one of the reasons why small talk is so important is because it actually helps us start difficult conversations. These conversations may arise between sensitive relations where there is usually not a trend to start such talks.
Defines The Fabric Of Society
Have you ever noticed how we miss out on the small things in life that truly give us some meaning or show us how much variation there is in society. If you ever plan to go to your doctor for a check up or get caught by the police for overspeeding – you are doing a 70 in a 40 zone – then you will see how the nature and content of the small talk varies. The officer might come up to you and say what a beautiful day it is before he actually tells you what you did wrong while the doctor might comment on how good you look today before he actually begins the checkup.
Small talk defines the relations we have in society and the communication that exists between them. It may seem useless but at the end of the day it is fun to watch and take part in.
Fills In The Empty Silence
As we said earlier, we may not always have something to talk about and when that happens then awkward silence happens – which we all hate. Hence, this is where the small talk comes into handy. You can just pop up random questions to the other person until you two actually reach a topic to talk about in more depth.
Before that, you can use small talk to fill in the empty silence before it becomes unbearable. Just try and talk about things that are common to both of you and give a good enough reason to the other person to reply and also communicate with you. You will finally come across a topic that is interesting and has enough potential to be discussed over a longer course of time.
Small talk actually opens up a lot of opportunities! You may be talking to a stranger over a small incident you saw that just happened or asking them how their day went and become friends suddenly. It is also possible you may be discussing the routine things with a person at work and suddenly come across a piece of work that actually interests the both of you; you could become great friends after that as the conversation takes flight. We never know what is around the corner and hence we should not take small things lightly.
Afterall, it is the small things in life that lead to the bigger ones. Don’t take them for granted and definitely let the opportunity go out of hand.
This article took a look at why people may hate small talk and identified the type of personality that may not be so comfortable engaging in such conversation. The article then not only highlighted why small talk is so powerful and useful but also provided small tips on how to carry it you!