How to make ISTJ feel loved (top 3 tips)

This blog will discuss the ways in which to make an ISTJ feel loved and will additionally outline the strengths and weaknesses of an ISTJ.

Ways to make ISTJ feel loved

The following are some ways to make an ISTJ feel loved:

• Show them the ISTJ type of affection

• Pledge your loyalty and commitment

• Take them seriously

• Stick around when things get hard

• Keep things drama free

• Spend some quality time with them

• They cannot resist compliments

• Actions speak louder than words

Show them the ISTJ type of affection 

ISTJs themselves are not very verbally expressive of their affection or sentiment. They are also just as poor in receiving affection but still need and expect it. 

Therefore, remember to avoid grand displays of affection such as gushing compliments or extravagant gifts as these will overwhelm and otherwise annoy them. 

Flashy gifts like flowers, chocolate, or love letters may make them uncomfortable early in the relationship. Instead, be patient and get to know the ISTJ slowly.

ISTJs are very minimalistic and simple and so show them affection by your actions such as being there for them and attending to their daily functional needs.

Pledge your loyalty and commitment

ISTJs value loyalty and commitment in relationships, and consider these qualities to be vital. They will therefore feel loved when a person commits to them exclusively and does not cheat on them.

ISTJs want to be with someone who is capable of taking the relationship seriously and who can commit to a future with them. If you can match that expectation they will feel important and appreciated.

Take them seriously

ISTJs are not interested in casual dating, as this is a waste of their time and energy. Instead, they want to be with someone they can share their lives with and build a future with.

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By showing them that you take them seriously they will feel loved. Showing them that you can actually see a future with them for a long time and you are not playing games will instantly melt their heart. 

Stick around when things get hard

ISTJs are very hardworking and persevering by nature. They are very resilient in the face of adversity even in relationships.

ISTJs will invest a lot of themselves and their heart into maintaining their relationships and they don’t believe in just walking away because things get hard.

They are practical people who realize that life can sometimes get challenging, and so they want a partner who can weather the storm with them, not fall behind just because it gets a bit scary.

Therefore, sticking around when things get hard will make the ISTJ feel loved and their time worthwhile. 

Keep things drama free

ISTJs are not emotionally attuned people and so they have a low tolerance threshold for drama and unnecessary strife and arguments. 

Generally speaking, they dislike gossip, idle chatting and can’t handle big emotional outbursts. Understanding that this is a need and being diplomatic in addressing conflict will make the ISTJ feel loved.

Additionally, the ISTJ appreciates a partner who understands that they steer clear of anything edgy or controversial that may land them in problems.

Spend some quality time with them

ISTJs have placed a high value on quality time because they are very dutiful and loyal to those they love. 

A person creating time for them specifically is viewed as a reciprocation of their continued efforts. 

It is important to note that ISTJs are introverts and so spending too much time with others may not be their cup of tea. 

But those who want to express love to them should not mind this and go ahead and get into their personal space and make them feel loved.

They cannot resist compliments

The typical ISTJ is a staunch believer in their ways, personal values, and principles. They are, in fact, infamous for being rigid and traditional, external influence remains unmatched in the face of their resolve and personal beliefs. 

Therefore, paying them compliments and affirming their ideologies goes a long way with an ISTJ because those who love them accept and understand their way of thinking. 

Additionally, ISTJs are not the type to be passive and inactive in relationships. They strive and work hard to meet the needs of their loved ones. 

These efforts can be appreciated through words of affirmation, saying a simple thank you, or encouraging them for being consistent in making you happy will make them feel loved.

Actions speak louder than words

ISJTs are always doing things for those they love so it is only natural to reciprocate their efforts by doing things for them as well. 

When a person goes out of their way to do something that is very important and is of high priority for the ISTJ they are helping them achieve their objectives and showing them that they value their activities. 

ISTJs are very preoccupied with various activities and so there are many things that they could use help with.

Strengths of an ISTJ

The following are the strengths of an ISTJ:

• They are dutiful and loyal

• They are dependable

• They are honest

• They make stable life-long partners

• They can persevere through any kind of hardship

• They protect the things and people they love

• They are providers

• They are unrelenting at meeting the needs of those they value

• They are agents of maintaining, preserving, and passing down family traditions

• They are good at creating an orderly environment out of chaos

• They maintain a tidy and neat home

• They are excellent at planning and executing ideas

• They are able to logically solve problems

• They go to great lengths to keep promises they make to their loved ones

• They are trustworthy

Weaknesses of an ISTJ

The following are the weaknesses of an ISTJ:

• They are hard-wired to forming and maintaining routines that can drain the romance and spontaneity in a relationship

• They believe they are always right which makes it difficult to get them to see another’s point of view

• They are opinionated and judgemental which can sometimes offend some people

• They resist change which can sometimes be retrogressive

• They are emotionally insensitive which makes it difficult for them to be empathetic or understanding of people

• They can become oppressive and controlling in an effort to create and maintain order in a relationship

• They are not accommodating of people who are not like them or hold different values from theirs

• They are not very verbally expressive and so they rarely offer words of praise or appreciation

If you’re facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.

Conclusion

This blog discussed the ways in which to make an ISTJ feel loved and additionally outlined the strengths and weaknesses of an ISTJ.

The following are some ways to make an ISTJ feel loved:

• Show them the ISTJ type of affection

• Pledge your loyalty and commitment

• Take them seriously

• Stick around when things get hard

• Keep things drama free

• Spend some quality time with them

• They cannot resist compliments

• Actions speak louder than words

Thank you for reading this blog. Give us your thoughts in the comment section below.

Frequently Asked Questions: How to make ISTJ feel loved

References

Alisha Kennerly, (2021), ‘ISTJ: The Logistician’, Retrieved from https://www.thecareerproject.org/blog/istj/

Lewin K, (1935), A Dynamic Theory of Personality, McGraw-Hill; New York, NY, USA. PDF