In this article, we will discuss How extroverts deal with interpersonal conflicts?. We will do that by describing extroverts and introverts. We will then explain how extroverts and introverts deal with interpersonal conflicts. In the end, we will discuss conflict management strategies that extroverts can learn from introverts.
Family CounselingFamily CounselingHow do extroverts deal with interpersonal conflicts?
Extroverts deal with conflicts in a different manner compared to introverts. Extroverts prefer to talk with their partners whenever they are arguing or disagreeing. Talking about things helps them figure out their emotions. They are uncomfortable with silence and are more immediate and eager to talk it out in order to process it. They also express their emotions quite openly and with full intensity. This can even include displaying their emotions e.g.if someone is angry, they may shout or slam the door. Another strategy they may try is to keep themselves distracted by engaging in fun activities to keep their minds off the negative situation.
Extroverts vs Introverts
Extroverts refer to people who are externally oriented. They are energized by interacting with the world. These personalities are usually talkative and outgoing. They like to socialize and are energized by huge crowds, loud music, and great energy. These people usually act first and think later. So, we can say they are impulsive in nature and are risk-takers. Whenever they are alone, they feel low, uninspired, and exhausted.
Introverts, on the other hand, are internally oriented. They are energized by their inner world. They like to stay quiet and spend time alone. They think first and act later. So, we can say that their actions are backed by a lot of planning and thinking. They value the depth of experiences. They do not usually take risks. Being among crowds and a lot of people can be stimulating for them and drain their energy.
Interpersonal conflict management
As we know that extroverts and introverts are opposite to each other, their behavior during stress is also different. Both of them employ different strategies to cope with challenging situations. An extrovert may prefer to go to a party or socialize with their friends. They may see this as a way to distract themselves and engage in something happier. They would also want to interact and talk about the conflict with their partner in order to process it.
Unlike them, introverts need to take time out and think through the conflict. They analyze the entire situation and figure out what happened, why it happened, and what they can do to make it better. They process it in their minds first and talk it out later.
When both extroverts and introverts are in conflict together, they have a different view on how to handle the situation. They may perceive each other as demanding or resistive. It is important that they try to be more accepting of each other’s views and do not try to mold the other person according to their wishes and style of handling the situation.
If you’re facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.
Note: The following section is based on a general trend of processing information and is not definitive. The actual conflict resolution style and skills may differ from one person to another. So, this information does not apply to all extroverts or all introverts.
Conflict resolution skills extroverts need to learn
As mentioned earlier, extroverts process things better by talking it out with their partner. It is difficult for them to process information in their minds by thinking and organizing their thoughts. Whereas, for introverts, this is something natural. Extroverts can learn a lot of useful and constructive things from introverts whenever they are in a conflict. These include the following:
Introverts are great listeners. They can easily listen to others, gain a lot of information, process it, and respond accordingly. They know the art of asking questions, showing empathy, and giving the right answers according to the other person’s need. People feel heard while talking to them. They are comfortable with silence and give the other person space and nonjudgmental acceptance. Unlike them, extroverts have difficulty listening and being silent. It is important that they learn from introverts about how to be more silent when talking to another person. They need to grasp the skill of picking out the feelings of another person and acknowledging them out loud.
Introverts get a lot of information from someone by asking questions. Doing that, helps them learn the perspective of the other person. Extroverts need to learn that powerful questioning and skillful listening is important in conflict management. Furthermore, they need to give silence in between questions rather than responding with another question. Giving someone the space to think usually brings up authentic information that is not rushed in any way and helps build a connection on a deeper level.
Introverts are naturally talented at reflecting and engaging in introspection. Extroverts need to learn this skill in which they take time to pause and think about their thoughts. They can even use journaling to organize their thoughts and figure out any patterns. This will help them understand themselves better and also realize the possible impact their actions may have had on the other person. It will also help them re-evaluate their impulsive behavior and prevent future conflicts.
Humbleness is an attitude in which a person is able to recognize their strengths as well as their weaknesses. Being humble means one acknowledges their contribution to the conflict and their mistakes. It also includes admitting that you made a mistake and apologizing to the other person to smooth things out.
An introvert is skilled in anticipating and planning for different situations. They prepare themselves for unexpected circumstances. Extroverts can learn from them instead of spontaneously acting at the moment. They need to realize that sometimes being prepared can help them immensely especially for conflicts. It can help them see the situation from alternative perspectives, explore their thoughts and emotions and be ready with a list of important questions in order to figure out the situation and accordingly come up with a solution.
An introvert has the ability to carry out a difficult conversation by staying on the topic. They keep people from jumping from one topic to another and distracted from the main point. An extrovert can learn from an introvert how to have discussions about conflict and get meaningful outcomes without wasting time on unnecessary and small details that do not matter in understanding the big picture.
Keeping one’s calm
Introverts can maintain their calm and collected composure, especially in a conflict. They know when to display their emotions and when to keep it to themself in a limited range. Extroverts can learn from this by keeping their emotions in a limited range while expressing them. This is because if they show their entire emotions which may not be constructive for the situation. Rather, it can fuel the situation further. Instead of displaying their emotions or expressing them fully, they can start by naming their emotions in a calm manner.
FAQs: How extroverts deal with interpersonal conflicts
How does an introvert deal with interpersonal conflict?
Introverts deal with conflict in a different manner compared to extroverts. They like to take a timeout and reflect on their thoughts and the entire situation of the conflict. They process it by organizing their thoughts and preparing how to deal with it. Eventually, they talk it out with their partner when they are ready. They exercise listening capacity as well as questioning to gather information and understand the other person’s perspective. In a way, they are quite empathic in that manner. They also express their emotions but in a limited range which is constructive for the situation.
Why do introverts avoid conflict?
Introverts try to avoid conflict and politics because they dislike being in the spotlight. They also don’t like being involved in situations where there is high energy and a lot of noise. This can drain their energy especially if a conflict is going on in their immediate surroundings.
Do extroverts need alone time?
Yes, extroverts need alone time just like introverts. However, the difference is that the amount of alone time they require is less compared to an introvert. Isolation and solitude is not vital for them to get through the day.
In this article, we discussed How extroverts deal with interpersonal conflicts. We found that Extroverts deal with conflicts in a different manner compared to introverts. Extroverts prefer to talk with their partners whenever they are arguing or disagreeing. Talking about things helps them figure out their emotions. They are uncomfortable with silence and are more immediate and eager to talk it out in order to process it. They also express their emotions quite openly and with full intensity. This can even include displaying their emotions e.g.if someone is angry, they may shout or slam the door. Another strategy they may try is to keep themselves distracted by engaging in fun activities to keep their minds off the negative situation.
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