How Enneagram 5s Show Love?

In this article, we will look at how the type 5 enneagram manages their romantic relationships by describing what good and bad traits they bring to a relationship and how they can improve. The article will also introduce the type 5 enneagram to the audience by outlining its traits, fears and desires. Lastly, the article will also explain how the type 5 enneagram shows love.

How Enneagram 5s Show Love?

The type 5 enneagram is very patient and careful when it comes to love however, they may not be very expressive to their partner in the typical way because of their personality. They follow a mature approach in their relationships which ensure or at least promote a long term relationship because they focus on dealing with issues in the relationship in an objective and productive manner. They also take out the time to understand the problems of their significant other.

However, emotions may not settle well with them because they focus more on concrete thought and if they have a partner who is more emotional it may lead to dangerous results. This is because they will get irritated at the other person’s behaviour and impatience. They will put in the time to fix issues and also support their partner in their efforts as well as appreciate the small things in the relationship.

However, if you are looking for someone who is very expressive, has the habit of being vocal about how they feel and touches you constantly, the type 5 enneagram may not be your ideal choice. They are strong partners who have a long term approach and will use their solid thought patterns to navigate through problems – but they won’t be your cuddly teddy bear that you need!

Before we look at these areas in detail, let us introduce the type 5 enneagram to the readers! The article will also touch upon the traits of type 5 and how it affects their relationship and their partner.

Who Is A Type 5 Enneagram?

These individuals are very much interested in learning things that are relevant to their area of interest. They will investigate its elements and try to gather as much information as they can! The enneagram type 5 is alert, innovative but secretive at the same time.

People with this enneagram type have the ability to build complex ideas and skills; this is possible only because of their focus on the specific area they are working within and their dedication to master it.

The type 5 enneagram has an innate need to learn continuously. They want more and more information and want to increase their reservoir of knowledge. It bothers them if they have an interest in a certain thing or phenomena however, they are not able to learn more about it. Their curiosity is indeed a problem for them. At the same time, this desire to learn more about their interests distracts them from other things in their life, especially the practical ones. 

Another defining trait of this enneagram type is that they want to be different from others in what they learn or study. They want to discover a new area or an area that is least researched by others. They do not want to focus on things that are common or conventional; they want to study the bizarre, unknown, beyond limits, unexplainable topics on the list!

Fears & Desires 

We will explore the basic desire and fear of this enneagram type!

The Basic Fear – Type 5 Enneagram

The basic fear of these enneagrams is that they will become useless in the sense that they have no skill or knowledge. They are scared they will not be competent in any field of life which they can master. The fear is not associated with showing off but to give their own self a sense of assurance that they have a skill they know very well and it makes the stand out from others.

The Basic Desire – Type 5 Enneagram

Their basic desire stems from their fear of not being competent. The desire is to learn so that they are competent and skilled in a certain area that is of much interest to them and not so common or known amongst others. They desire to be different in the knowledge they possess and skills they can employ. It gives them a sense of competence, capability and assurance.

The Type 5 Enneagram & Romantic Relationships

In this section, we will take a closer look at how type 5 enneagrams behave and what effect it has on their relationships!

  • Passion for Work
  • Love the Little Details
  • Objective Analysis
  • Dealing With Crises
  • Polished Skills

Passion for Work

This enneagram has a lot of passion for their work and if they have a similar partner it can do wonders for their relationship!

Whether it is studying microorganisms in a lab or cracking the formula to a math problem, they will put their all into it. This is very beneficial to them because not only do they listen to each other talk about work but also if they work in one area then it becomes a great pastime for them. They get to discuss more things and take part in shared activities relevant to work.

Having the same passion for what they do can help them settle in well together. They will not end up in fights where they complain about not having enough time for the other person or staying away involved in work. This is because they understand and appreciate the other person’s work habits and their passion for what they do. The time they do get together is hence well spent talking about the interests they share.

However, if they have a partner who does not share their passion, they will experience much friction not only because they can’t give time to each other but they won’t have much in common to talk about.

Love the Little Details

This enneagram cares about the little things so if their partner makes the effort they will definitely notice it! They will appreciate what the other person does for them. This has two effects! Firstly they will be grateful and happy that they are being cared for. Secondly, their partner will be reinforced to do more and more for the other person. Hence, this will lead to a cycle of happiness.

Objective Analysis

Being objective is important to type 5s. If they have a partner who thinks in a similar manner they are able to agree more and fight less because they have a similar lens of looking at problems and relationship issues. They do not bring in personal biases but take the problem for what it is.

Being objective also allows them to agree more on certain topics they come across and hence they appreciate their partner’s insight and understanding of things – it feels good to have the same opinions.

However, if they end up with someone who acts mostly based on their emotions it will definitely create problems.

Dealing With Crises

The enneagram type 5 has a calm and controlled manner when it comes to dealing with tense or difficult situations. This allows them to navigate through hard times. This also allows them to deal with difficult partners who may need more attention and patience.

Polished Skills

Type 5 partners believe in possessing skills. They can impress the other with what they know how to do and even teach the other person. It becomes a great learning activity because not only are they spending time together but they are doing something which both of them appreciate – stimulating their mental activity and learning technical things!

Having skills increases the admiration and respect both enneagrams have for each other because learning a new skill is definitely not an easy job! Hence, the type 5 enneagram should look for someone who is similar to them and understands their passions.


This article highlighted the significance of romantic relationships when it comes to type 5 enneagrams by describing how they behave in such a relationship. The article also introduced the type 5 enneagram to the readers by discussing its major personality traits, fears and desires. Furthermore, the article took an in depth approach to explaining not only how the type 5 enneagram shows love to their partner but also the effect of this on their relationship.


Was this helpful?

Thanks for your feedback!