ESTJ and INFP (Analysis of Relationship)

In this blog, we are going to analyse the relationship between an ESTJ and INFP. To do this, we will explain what these personality types mean and where do they come from. After that, we will look at the different components that influence this relationship.

What is the Relationship Between ESTJ and INFP Like?

The relationship between an ESTJ and INFP is tricky and takes a lot of mutual effort. The INFP needs to learn to communicate in direct, concrete terms. The ESTJ must give their partner enough space to be themselves. 

These relationships work very well when each person appreciates the strengths of the other. With patient and respectful communication, ESTJ and INFP individuals can make it work as their cognitive stacking fits together perfectly.

Getting to Know the ESTJ and INFP Personalities

Our analysis will be incomplete without a basic understanding of what these personality types are like. In this section, we will explain what the behaviour patterns are for ESTJ and INFP people. This discussion will help us comprehend the dynamics in a relationship between ESTJ and INFP personalities.

What is the ESTJ Personality Like?

ESTJ stands for Extraverted (E), Sensing (S), Thinking (T), and Judging (J). This is one of the sixteen personalities based on the Myers-Briggs model of personality psychology. People with this personality type are given the name “The Director”. ESTJs are value-driven and confident. 

They make good leaders and usually take up powerful positions responsible for the upkeep of communities. ESTJs have the strengths of stability, commitment, hard work, and realistic expectations. Their weaknesses include being insensitive, dominating, rigid, and unable to express emotions.

What is the INFP Personality Like?

The INFP personality type is another one of the 16 personality types specified by the MBTI. It stands for Introverted (I), Intuitive (N), Feeling (F), and Perceiving (P). This group is frequently labelled, “The Mediators”. 

An INFP also tends to be driven by high values. They believe they can make the world a better place and constantly seek the best ways to help others. Their intuitive nature makes them creative, idealistic, and sensitive to feelings.

The Relationship Between an ESTJ and INFP

Since we are now familiar with what the ESTJ and INFP personality types are like, we can start the analysis. Let’s first explore the compatibility and communication styles in this relationship. Then, we will see how ESTJs and INFPs interact within professional, romantic, platonic, and familial relationships.

ESTJ and INFP Compatibility

You might have noticed that ESTJ is the exact opposite of INFP. It’s true that opposites tend to attract, If an ESTJ and INFP got together, it had a lot more to do with physical attraction than compatibility. These relationships often begin because the INFP was drawn to the ESTJ’s confidence. 

Or when an ESTJ sets their eye on an INFP and confidently woos them. Once the initial passion of the romance fades, the incompatibility starts to show. INFPs will be emotional and vulnerable in their love life but ISTJs are far too practical in comparison. 

The INFP could be expressing their feelings and the ESTJ wouldn’t understand because there weren’t any concrete plans exchanged. Feelings of frustration are common in all relationships, let alone this unlikely pair. 

But it’s not all bad news. INFPs are very loyal and they put their heart and soul into relationships. If that first spark was real, these two personalities have it in them to work it out. 

They may have opposite letters, but their cognitive stacks are perfectly complementary. Te Si Ne Fi for ESTJ and Fi Ne Si Te for INFPs fit together beautifully. One partner’s strengths can make up for the other’s weaknesses.

ESTJ and INFP Communication

Communication is key in making the ESTJ and INFP relationship work. Well, that’s true for all relationships but especially so for this one. Due to their opposing personalities, it’s important for these two individuals to create common ground through dialogue and non-verbal communication. 

In order to do this, both have to understand how the other functions. The ESTJ is extremely direct and solution-oriented. The INFP might see this as being blunt but the ESTJ’s intention is not to hurt feelings. They want ready, step-by-step plans to tackle conflicts. 

Here, the INFP needs to find a way to express themselves freely but to also conclude with straightforward suggestions. At the same time, it’s the ESTJ’s responsibility to give the INFP space and time for reflection before demanding answers. The INFP needs to feel like they matter and that whatever they believe in will be considered. 

Only then can the two personalities start trusting each other enough to communicate freely. Gratitude and appreciation goes a far way in relationships like these. The INFP must acknowledge the utility of the ESTJ’s practical thinking. The latter too should treasure the INFP’s creativity and sensitivity.

The ESTJ and INFP at Work

INFPs and ESTJs make great teams in the workplace. The INFP can think of creative solutions and brings empathetic reasoning to the challenges faced. Meanwhile, the ESTJ has a knack for details and is good at making goal-oriented plans. 

Having said that, this teamwork only flourishes when both individuals are on a level playing field. If the ESTJ is at a higher position in the organisation’s hierarchy, it becomes a little complicated. 

ESTJ superiors tend to be authoritative and may even appear as cold and stubborn to their subordinates. If the work environment is conducive to playing by everyone’s strengths, this stops being a problem. The INFP helps the ESTJ be considerate of others when deciding things. In return, the ESTJ helps everyone else by getting goals accomplished.

The ESTJ and INFP at Home

In co-living situations, there are plenty of reasons for ESTJs and INFPs to clash. ESTJ relatives can be highly orthodox and traditional in how they like to keep their home. They stress on the importance of family rituals and celebrations, which they prefer to make grand. 

INFPs, on the other hand, like it better when it’s peaceful and quiet. They do not like having guests all the time and treasure their alone-time. 

Sometimes the ESTJ holds more influence in the family, a factor that usually depends on age and financial contribution. In such situations, their controlling nature can come out. The INFP then feels stuck in a rut of repetitive routines. 

ESTJ and INFP Friendship

Just like other relationships between the ESTJ and the INFP, friendships too take a lot of effort. It’s probable that if such a friendship exists, it either originated in childhood or took years of togetherness to flourish. 

Being completely different from the other, ESTJ and INFP individuals tend to annoy each other. One likes to make detailed itineraries for plans and the other invests more in fantasising them. The former calls a spade a spade and the latter oozes empathy. 

When an ESTJ and INFP are friends, they’re like chalk and cheese. Nevertheless, when the two have tonnes of shared life experiences, they know each other inside out. It’s this familiarity and intimacy that keeps these two contrasting personalities close together.

Values of ESTJ and INFP Personalities

When it comes to values, ESTJ and INFP personalities have some overlapping beliefs. The ESTJ holds tradition, rules, and security very close to their heart. They thrive in stable and consistent systems that have been optimised over the years. 

In contrast, the most precious things in an INFP’s life are their close relationships. Because of this, INFP individuals are extremely loyal to their loved ones. This works out great for the ESTJ INFP relationship as ESTJs value dependability more than anything else. If they know that they can count on someone, they will go out of their way to preserve that. 

INFPs care deeply for ethics and doing what is right. When making decisions, the INFP will prioritise personal values over logic. This is where having an ESTJ partner benefits them a lot.


In this blog, we analysed the relationship between an ESTJ and INFP. To do this, we explained what these personality types mean and where they come from. After that, we looked at the different components that influence this relationship.


Who Should an Estj marry?

An ESTJ should ideally look for a partner who is also Sensing and Thinking in nature. Myers-Briggs Type personality enthusiasts suggest that the best match for an ESTJ is an ISTP. The complementary nature of their extraversion with the ISTP’s introversion will help both partners. 

Who Should an Infp marry?

Technically speaking, all personalities can make successful marriages if they are well-developed individuals. But until people reach that level of wellbeing, there are certain matches that work better than others. An INFP should marry someone intuitive and feeling too. The best partner for an INFP is an ENFJ.


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