Enneagram Type 9 Childhood Wounds (and Trauma)

In this brief guide, we will look at the Enneagram 9 childhood, specifically Enneagram 9 childhood trauma and Enneagram 9 childhood wounds. We will also look at features of Enneagram 9, Enneagram types and Enneagram Test.

Enneagram Type 9 Childhood: Trauma and Wounds

Enneagram type 9 in childhood may often feel connected to both parents equally because they have a tendency to be harmonious, but this can be good or bad depending on what the parents are like.

Usually, when the enneagram type 9 is in a supportive family setting they may feel nurtured and supported and because it is a positive environment, they may nurture and support others as well, like parents or siblings.

However, if they feel attached to their family but the family is dysfunctional and if things like frequent conflict or turmoil, they may learn to “tune out” the problems and seek ways to numb themselves to the conflict.

Enneagram type 9 childhood will also see them be emphatically connected to both parental figures and they will spend a lot of time trying to make them happy, and when they are not able to, they will convince themselves they are happy

The Enneagram type 9 often forgets, both as adults and as children, that to completely alter the moods of everyone outside themselves is not possible, and sometimes they may try in vain before realizing that it’s pointless, at which point they may cope by numbing out negative input and potentially living in denial.

A typical enneagram type 9 child may try to escape the situation by leaving it, or just by putting on headphones and playing with toys while the parents fight in another room, acting like they are not aware of what is happening or not paying attention to it even as it is clear to them that something negative is happening.

The enneagram type 9 child may also have a very rich fantasy life to numb out his worries and fears, and to distract himself from his own feelings.

Enneagram type 9 childhood is also characterized by a feeling of connectedness and sometimes this may lead to them having a hard time differentiating their own feelings from those of others. 

If you’re facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.

The type 9 may get their sense of identity from their parents, through introjection or other mechanisms defined by the psychoanalytic theory, rather than them forming their own unique identity. 

The enneagram type 9 child may eventually learn to let go of the idea that their participation in the world is unimportant and they may also learn to connect with themselves and voice their own feelings, even their anger, without feeling like it will cause their world to collapse or lead to major conflict that they will not be able to get out of.

Enneagram Type 9: Features

Enneagram 9 is also known as the Peacemaker and they usually tend to be accepting, trusting, and stable and they are very staunch about avoiding any conflict that they can and they do not like to be involved in anything that disrupts the peace, inside or outside.

Enneagram 9 may also be very creative, optimistic, and supportive, but on the negative side they may sometimes not express enough and just go along with others to keep the peace if they feel the need to do so.

Type 9 generally wants the environment to go smoothly for their inner and outer world to be

Without conflict, and while this makes them easygoing and peaceful, it is just as likely to make them somewhat complacent because they may start simplifying problems and minimizing anything upsetting that they don’t want to deal with.

The enneagram type 9 also likes to keep moving and may have trouble staying still, which means that sometimes they may have trouble being stuck and may be hard to pin down even when required.

The basic fear of the type 9 personality is that of being separated from loved ones or just

suffering great loss due to conflict.

On the other hand, the Basic desire that they chase is to have inner stability and achieve

“peace of mind”.

Enneagram 9 Subtypes 9w1 and 9w8: Features

The two enneagram subtypes are 9w1, or type 9 with wing 1, or 9w8, which is type 9 with wing 8.


9w1 has the core traits of type 9 and some traits of type 1, and this is the type of individual who has traits like being peaceful and making sure of their convictions and ideals.

The 9w1 personality takes the peaceful and adaptive approach to solve the biggest of the society’s issues and they may be very strongly moralistic.

9w1 is known as the Negotiator, because they like to deal with big problems but in a peaceful approach to any conflict but at the same time they may also be very sure of themselves and they might know exactly what they want.

The 9w1 personality is also unlikely to ruffle too many feathers to get what they want and they are hardworking, creative, and friendly unless provoked extremely intensely.

On the rare occasions where they do feel provoked, this personality may react more with words than actual violence and they are also more idealistic and serious than other type 9s, which shows in how they handle conflict.

The 9w1 has many type 1 traits as well, which means that they have strict rights and wrongs they believe in.

9w1 may also frequently seek routine and moral action while at the same time fearing misfortune and isolation, but despite this tendency, they may be rather optimistic due to their type 9 traits, and quite orderly in their approach to the world, due to the type 1 traits.

The enneagram 9w1 likely to avoid disturbing peace and balance, and when they face problems they may internalize them and numb them, which may also be seen in the enneagram type 9 childhood, and they likely will not externalize the issues and share or burden others.


The 9w8 type or Type Nine with Eight-wing have core traits of type 9 like wanting to avoid conflict or needing internal and external peace, adaptability, agreeableness, and extroverted tendencies; while also having some traits of type 8, like a strong will, confidence, and an assertive personality.

The 9w8, also known as the Advisor, may be social, independent, and they may like a

certain degree of routine but at the same time they may also be more adventurous than other type nines, like 9w1, who is quieter and reserved and prefer introspection rather than outgoing tendencies.

The 9w8, because of the wing 8, may have fears of loss and separation and there is a high this may sometimes cause them to avoid personal confrontation and conflict.

This personality type is mostly likely to be quite extroverted and more social and adaptable due to the mix of 9 and 8 traits, and they like balance and peace in life like true 9s.

The type 9w8 approaches problems in an unhealthy way sometimes too, and when this happens they may occasionally get lost in routine rather than face the issues head-on.

Enneagram Types

There are 9 Enneagram types, with 2 subtypes each, corresponding to 9 equidistant points on the enneagram circle; the subtypes are wings that include traits from the adjacent personality type for each one.

The 9 Enneagram types and their main or core traits are as follows:

  • 1: The Reformer or Idealist whose traits include idealism, pragmatism, morality,justice, and a tendency to think deeply about inequality and wanting to do the right thing.
  • 2: The Caregiver traits include being very affectionate, loving, caring and attached to people, wanting to be there for them all the time and being afraid of being unloved.
  • 3: The Performer/Achiever, the tendency to achieve goals, hardworking, determined, ambitious and confident
  • 4: The Individualist/Artist/Romantic, with traits like preference of solitude, introspective, introvert, shy, wanting to make a difference in the world or being significant in some way
  • 5: The Investigator: traits like skepticism, questioning things, curious, investigative,observant and thinking a lot
  • 6: The Loyalist: Dependable, friendly, helpful, skeptic, afraid of being abandoned or rejected, may be anxious or suspicious
  • 7: The Enthusiast: High energy, excitable, full of ideas, optimistic, not wanting to miss out on anything, highly extroverted
  • 8: The challenger/Protector: intimidating, powerful, leader, protective, reserved,quiet and does not want to be controlled or hurt by anyone.
  • 9: The Peacemaker: Avoiding conflict, peaceful tendency, adaptability,agreeableness, easygoing.

Enneagram Test

The enneagram test is a part of the enneagram theory of personality, which comes from an ancient art of diagrammatically representing points on a circle and connecting them with lines to form a symbol which may be said to encompass a traits and types of whatever it measures within itself.

There is a neuropsychological diagram called a Connectogram which is said to have been inspired by Enneagrams, as it looks fairly similar to this circle nine equidistant parts on it (Enneagram is greek, where Ennea: Nine and Gramma: Writing or putting down information).

The enneagram test seeks to assess which one of the 9 personality types is most dominant in a person, and after taking the test the adjacent types may also be explored in order to get a sense of whether the individual might be a subtype, involving a wing.

A wing is a crossover that may form between two personality types that are adjacent to the enneagram, and the wing may be intentional or unintentional.

A wing offers possibility for growth and consists of traits that supplement or complement the dominant personality type in some way.

One may find the wing after necessary reading or talking to someone who may know about the

theory, or one may also check out some enneagram books to get started.

The most common enneagram test that is validated and widely used is the Riso Hudson 

Enneagram Type Indicator (RHETI) and while a number of online tests are available this is the only one that offers true and valid insights about the type of personality someone might be.


In this brief guide, we looked at the Enneagram 9 childhood, specifically Enneagram 9 childhood trauma and Enneagram 9 childhood wounds. We also looked at features of Enneagram 9, Enneagram types and Enneagram Test.

Enneagram 9 personality is often said to encompass some traits of all the other types because of its top location in the Enneagram, and because they have such conflict avoiding patterns and peaceful natures, they may make for some very sweet children.

However, the enneagram 9 childhood may also be littered with problems regarding interpersonal patterns and if they have experienced trauma they could be scarred and be even more avoidant about conflict than other type 9s.

If you have any more questions or comments about the Enneagram 9 childhood or the enneagram 9 personality type in general, please feel free to reach out to us.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs): Enneagram 9 Childhood

What do Enneagram 9s need to hear?

Enneagram 9 needs to hear “Your presence matters.” because sometimes they may not understand their impact on the world through the lens of a peacemaker. They need to hear that they matter to and that their existence has a purpose in the grand scheme of things.

What does an Enneagram 9 go to in stress?

The Enneagram 9 goes to Enneagram 6 in stress, and they may become anxious and worried.

When they are going in the Direction of Integration (growth), however, the slothful, self-neglecting enneagram 9 may become self-developing and energetic, like healthy Threes.

Which Enneagram type is most rare?

The rarest Enneagram type is type four the Individualist and type 8 the Challenger.

Are Enneagram 9’s lazy?

No, enneagram 9s are not lazy, but they may seem so because of their tendency to keep to themselves and being conflict-avoidant, which may make them seem like the type of people who don’t want to do anything at all.

How do you treat an Enneagram 9?

To treat an Enneagram 9 you may follow the following tips:

Remember their space out or forget to do things. 
Slow down and “hang out” a bit. 
Listen to them
Stay peaceful
Don’t come on too strong
Don’t get impatient.




Was this helpful?

Thanks for your feedback!