Enneagram Type 7 Childhood (A Complete Guide)

This article will take a look at the type 7 enneagram’s childhood and what type of experiences they had that affected their later adult life. The article will also introduce the type 7 enneagram in detail and highlight their fears and desires. Lastly, the article will shed light on the adult life relationships that these enneagrams have to provide a complete understanding to the audience.

Enneagram Type 7 Childhood – Their Childhood Story

The enneagram type 7s childhood experiences are unique in this way that they did not experience the love or comfort that they required or in the amount that they required. They experienced a lack of love from their caretaker who could have been their parents or grandparents or even older siblings – in some cases their foster parents. 

Oftentimes there are many reasons as to why the type 7 enneagram did not receive the love or care they need and these could include:

  • The death of the caretaker
  • Domestic abuse at home
  • Child abuse by the caretaker
  • Frequent drug or alcohol usage at home
  • Inability of caretaker to provide love and comfort
  • Separation from caretaker due to war like conditions or state action

However, the type 7 enneagram became self-sufficient and hence they not only realized that they could not depend on others for the love they needed but also that they could find other distractions.

This realization that they could not look towards their caretakers or family for love, security, comfort and nurturance indeed made them independent. At the same time, they fixated on materialistic things that could take away or fill up the emptiness inside of them; during their childhood such children can be seen obsessing about their toys or food because those are the only things that ‘stay’ with them. They are probably less likely to develop strong bonds or friendship or will easily be turned off by other kids who don’t know how to have fun.

This behaviour is seen not only during their childhood life but also in their later adult life where they become reckless, seek out distractions, are more likely to take risks and fall into harmful behaviours such as taking drugs and consuming alcohol in large amounts.

Enneagram Type 7: The Enthusiast

These individuals are versatile and spontaneous! They have a lot of energy in them and they like to be in high spirits! However, by continuously working themselves out, they can get tired and become exhausted and hence lose focus. They will become distracted and lose track of the goal they had in mind. It is obvious then that they have problems with impulsiveness and impatience.

Overall, these individuals are joyful and cheerful and that is what they emanate when they are around others. At their best, they want to focus on worthy goals that use their talents and strengths.

These enneagrams have been called enthusiasts because of the energy with which they approach the things in life that catch their eyes! They are like children who have a lot of energy, optimism and curiosity about the things that seem interesting to them. Furthermore, they are intelligent not in the sense of academics but in a way that they can process a lot of information and hence brainstorm in an effective manner. 

However, their ability to read and process much information and hence learn new skills can sometimes confuse them about what they are actually meant to do in life!

Basic Fear

The basic fear of this enneagram type is to be in pain. They absolutely hate pain and they do not want to be deprived in any manner. They will avoid situations where they might get hurt emotionally or physically because they do not want to deal with the experience or feeling of pain. However, because of this fear, they often miss out on worthwhile experiences.

However their fear of missing out does encourage them to take up routines that are not too structured and allow for last minute plans. They may even be unable to focus much on the task at hand because they are looking for a more interesting experience – one that will make them let go of what they are doing and scramble outside for some fun!

Basic Desire

To be satisfied and fulfilled or content is the desire of this enneagram type 7. They want to feel complete and whole so that they do not have to rely on anyone else for their needs. It is also linked to their fear of being in pain and deprived. Hence, they strive to fulfill their needs in an independent manner and wish to be in a state that renders them safe.

At the same time, they do not want to miss out on joyful, stimulating and awesome experiences from life! They want to be part of the fun and seek excitement and joy from what they are doing. They want to feel happy and this leads them to oftentime justify or rationalize their negative feelings in a way that they are responsible for how they feel – even if it isn’t their own fault!

Enneagram Type 7 & Romantic Relationships

In this section, we will take a look at how type 7s engage with others in relationships that occur during their adult life.

The Good Traits

Here are a few good traits the type 7 enneagram brings into a relationship to keep it alive and well!

Optimism

The type 7 enneagram adopts an optimistic attitude about most things – especially a relationship they are in! They want to think of the best for themselves, their partner and the two of them. Furthermore, their ability to think positively results in less negative misunderstandings because they like to think that whatever their partner does is for the best!

Optimism is very important in relationships. It helps two people grow together without being fearful of what will happen in the future. It also keeps the drama away as well as the stress. It helps people see the better or brighter side in things and not just focus on the problems. Whatever it is, optimism is something the type 7 enneagram brings into relationships along with the concomitant benefits!

Adapting To New Situations

When it comes to new situations or unforeseen circumstances, the type 7 enneagram is able to cope well! They are okay with adapting to new places, situations or demands especially for the sake of their partner. They realize the importance of compromise and the sacrifices that need to be made in order to live with someone else. Hence, they are open minded to changing for the good!

Most people find it difficult to accept new situations or get out of their comfort zones. Not only does the type 7 enneagram readily accept change but they adapt to it in the best manner possible.

Want To Try New Things With Their Partner

These guys know how to keep things alive in the relationship! They love to try new things with their partner and according to many relationship experts, this is a great thing to do especially if the relationship is long term.

Trying new things together is not only a learning opportunity but also an opportunity to grow and bond together! People learn more about their partners when they try new things and they can also bond because they enter new situations together and help each other out in navigating through exciting but maybe new and unfamiliar things.

Nevertheless, it is indeed a fun experience that has many benefits. Be it visiting an old lake, climbing mountains together, trying crazy and weird types of food or simply enrolling in a new class together can be a wonderful experience for couples.

The Bad Traits

In this section, we will look at some bad traits that come along with a type 7 enneagram when they enter into a relationship.

Unable To Commit Or Settle Down

Yes, the type 7 enneagram finds it hard to commit or settle down for the long term. Not only does this seem like a difficult decision but they are not willing to take the risk so fast. They want more time and sometimes too much time!

One of the reasons this could be the case is because of their fear. They may not want to commit to someone for the long term because of the fear that they may get hurt emotionally. Hence, they do not want to put their trust in another person and get too attached or dependent on them.

Unable To Face Negative Conversations

Although the type 7 enneagram is all into the relationship they are a huge part of – of course – they have a hard time engaging in difficult or negative conversations. A lot of times two people need to have difficult conversations to keep the thing going; this may entail talking about one’s fears, attitudes the other person does not appreciate or mistakes made in the past. If one keeps on delaying these types of conversations, the relationship is bound to have problems!

Do Not Pay Attention

Sometimes the type 7 enneagram can have problems in paying attention to what their partner says! They may be in the habit of not being able to concentrate or get lost in the words that are coming out of their partner’s mouth. This is not a good quality to bring in a relationship because it will inevitably lead the other person to believe their words have no value!

Hence, the type 7 enneagram must improve when it comes to their listening skills!

Conclusion

This article shed light on how the type 7 enneagram’s childhood was and what problems they may have experienced in it. Furthermore, the article looked at the type 7 in detail and also shed light on how they behave in their adult life relationships.

References

https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2020/03/10/the-childhood-wounds-of-every-enneagram-type/#h-the-enneagram-seven-child-absence-of-nurturing
https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-7
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