Enneagram Type 3 Romantic Relationships (A Complete Guide)

This article will explore the intimate relationships these type 3 enneagrams have by commenting on the traits they bring to relationships. Furthermore, the article will also introduce this enneagram type to the audience by talking about its traits, fears and desires.

Enneagram Type 3 & Romantic Relationships

Here is a list of the good traits this enneagram brings to relationships where they are involved intimately:

  • Optimism
  • Adaptability
  • Enthusiasm
  • Effective Communication Skills

Here are some bad traits or behaviours the type 3 enneagram brings along to a romantic relationship they are in:

  • Difficulty Acknowledging Their Role
  • Emotionally Vulnerable

Before we look at these traits in detail, we will introduce the type 3 enneagram!

The Achiever – Type 3 Enneagrams

A type 3 enneagram is also called the ‘Achiever’ because of their desire that drives them to accomplish the big things in life. They are very hard working; putting in much time and energy in their work in order to achieve the success they desire!

These individuals are known to be very confident and have high levels of self efficacy, determination and the will to compete with others. However, they are also concerned about how others think of them and their image in the public which is sometimes very stressful.

When their personality integrates, usually because their fear has taken over or they are experiencing failure at multiple fronts, the type 3 enneagram’s darker traits come to life.

If they are insecure and feel humiliated, they will try to ensure that others do not succeed either so that others feel it was the situation that caused the failure and not the person themself. If it gets serious, they can become obsessive with ruining things for others especially if it reminds them of what they could not achieve. If they can’t have happiness then no one should!

These individuals are extremely conscious of how they appear to others and if they feel under-recognized they will make desperate attempts to grab the attention of others. They will develop a habit of exhibitionisn and arrogant talk that is centered around their strengths and successes.

Basic Desire.

The basic desire of an Achiever is to feel valuable and worthy of attention. They want others to know about their achievements and appreciate them or show them recognition in some way. People with this type usually define the term success according to others views and opinions and they work towards this so called success to gain respect and status in the society. At their best, fulfilling their desire of being the top performer, type 3s are well known and regarded amongst their peers and they are considered sources of inspiration. This is exactly what the achiever desires. At this point, they encourage others and help them move towards their dreams.

Basic Fear.

The basic fear of type 3 enneagrams arises from not achieving what they desire deeply. They want to be worthy of the love and recognition of others; they want to achieve great things that benefit or impress people and hence be celebrated by them. However, deep down, they have this fear that they may fail and not achieve their dreams or successes and this scares and depresses them especially when others are excelling in their life and the eyes of others. This inculcates a sense of jealousy in type 3 enneagrams.

Enneagram Type 3 & Romantic Relationships

In this section we will look at the good and bad traits that an enneagram type 3 brings into the romantic relationships they are involved in.

The Good Traits

Here are some good traits the type 3 enneagram has that come in handy in a relationship!


This is a very good trait to have; it is great in every sphere of life especially the relationships we are involved in because of the uncertainty present therein. To be optimistic means to have a positive outlook in life and in the things we are currently engaged in. It means that we expect the best to happen in whatever circumstances we find ourselves in; however that does not mean we do not prepare for the worst. 

The benefits of being optimistic are many. For example, we see the opportunities in even the most difficult situations because we are on the lookout for them and don’t just think and perceive everything negatively. It helps us keep the stress low and calmed down.

Hence, this is a great trait to have that the type 3 enneagram brings into relationships as it helps them see the good in situations, remain calm and stress free and bring a certain positive attitude to the relationship which will inevitably affect their partner too – in a good way!


This enneagram is great at adapting to new situations. This is important because when you start a new life with someone they do a lot of things differently from you. So, if you truly want to be with them then you need to be able to incorporate flexibility into your life. This helps a great deal and also encourages the enneagram’s partner to become flexible too. It reduces a lot of stress on them as well because they must be afraid about whether or not their partner can keep up with them in their life and its demands.

Thus, the type 3 enneagram makes carrying relationships into the future easier for their partner because they can adapt to new situations in a good way – and not with attitude!


Being in a new relationship is a fun and exciting experience! The type 3 enneagram does not hold back their enthusiasm when they find themselves in one because it makes them very happy and that is just the way they are – they can’t hold back their excitement!

This enthusiasm reflects well on their partner who sees their true self and appreciates the emotions and feelings they experience. It makes them feel lucky to have someone that is so enthusiastic about them and the relationship they are in. hence, having such an attitude brings a lot of good to the relationship!

Effective Communication Skills

The type 3 enneagram has effective communication skills which means they are not only good speakers but listeners too and this allows them to understand what their partner is trying to say to them. One of the biggest issues couples face is miscommunication. However, if anyone of the two partners can help improve that communication and they are dedicated to it, then it will greatly help the relationship!

The Bad Traits

Here are the bad traits that are concomitant to a type 3 enneagram entering into a romantic relationship!

Difficulty Acknowledging Their Role

This enneagram type may have a hard time acknowledging their role in a relationship. They may feel at times they are not liable to carry out certain tasks such as being their for their partner, giving them the answers they need or simply giving up something they love to do to spend more time with their partner – especially when they need them! 

Having such a relationship crisis can be difficult especially for the partner. It throws them into confusion and if the type 3 enneagram does not acknowledge their role in the relations, it could as well mean that the relationship might soon come to an end or become very unhealthy.

Emotionally Vulnerable

Becoming someone who is emotionally vulnerable is difficult. You are scared, hurt or confused to the extent that you are not emotionally stable enough to handle a relationship. This is something that can take a toll on anyone; not only the type 3 enneagram but their partner too.

It is important that the type 3 enneagram ensures they know what it is they want in a relationship and communicate it to their partner. This is important to ward off any insecurities, fears or problems they might have. If their partner agrees then the type 3 enneagram will definitely be comfortable going forward. However, if their partner does not agree then it may not be a very good idea to take the relationship forward!


This article took a look at the type 3 enneagram and introduced it to the audience by discussing its traits, fears and desires. The article then focused on the behaviour this certain enneagram type exhibits in romantic relationships. It highlighted both the good and bad traits that they bring to any romantic relationship they are involved in.



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