Enneagram Childhood Wounds (A 3 point guide)

In this article, we will look at the childhood wounds of watch enneagram type. This article also explores the covert messages each enneagram type received which influenced their personality.

Enneagram Childhood Wounds

Here are the Childhood Wounds of each Enneagram type:

  • Enneagram Type 1: Hypercriticism
  • Enneagram Type 2: People Pleasing and Self Sacrifice
  • Enneagram Type 3: Worthlessness
  • Enneagram Type 4: Abandonment Wound
  • Enneagram Type 5: Lack of Affection/ Intimacy
  • Enneagram Type 6: Lack of Safety
  • Enneagram Type 7: Lack of Nurturance
  • Enneagram Type 8: Lack of Vulnerability
  • Enneagram Type 9: Neglect

Enneagram Type 1: Hypercriticism

Enneagram One as children felt harshly criticized, punished, or inadequate. It’s possible that the household rules were incongruent. As a result, they grew preoccupied with being perfect and avoided making mistakes in order to escape being judged. “You should always strive to be better than you really are,” was the main theme.

Ones felt estranged from the protective figure in their lives as kids. Based on the circumstances of their house, this may have been the mother or the father. This can indicate that the parent they expected to be powerful and protective was instead hostile and abusive. It could also indicate that the parent was preoccupied, unreasonable, strict, or overly demanding.

In this way, Enneagram Type Ones who faced hypercriticism, grow up to become hypercritical of themselves.

Enneagram Type 2: Self Sacrifice and People Pleasing

These children only experienced love if they were serving or satisfying others; their own needs seemed selfish. As a consequence, they tuned in to others’ needs and wants rather than their own. Love came to be described as the act of giving to others, even when the love was not always returned.

Twos aspire to be needed by others. In a child, this may manifest as The Two helping younger siblings with domestic chores or taking on parental tasks to make their lives smoother while also earning their family’s respect and admiration. They believe that by being responsible and nurturing, they can eventually win the love which most children accept as normal.

Enneagram Type 3: Worthlessness

To the heart of the matter – These children believed that they were only recognized for what they did and how well they did it. Their feelings were dismissed and neglected; all that mattered was their accomplishment and what was demanded of them. Their capacity to love themselves and others was impaired as a result of this. Genuine love was replaced with admiration.

Threes suffered with the pestering thought that their genuine selves were unworthy or unimportant. They secretly feared that if people realised who they truly were, they would be rejected or abandoned. So they attempted to look perfect, smile pleasantly, and obtain awards or honors to deflect attention from their true selves.

Enneagram Type 4: Abandonment Wound

Fours as children felt abandoned by their caregivers. They felt isolated from the source of affection for reasons they couldn’t comprehend. They didn’t feel “seen” or heard, and they didn’t feel like their parents. As a response, to deal with abandonment, they retreated inward to their feelings and fantasies.

Fours desire to discover their identities because they believe it will relieve them of the feelings of sadness that have afflicted them their entire lives.

Many Fours fantasise about encountering someone who will fully accept them for who they truly are. They aspire to find that bond in a friend or romantic relationship because they felt so estranged from their family as children.

Enneagram Type 5: Lack of Affection/ Intimacy

Caregivers did not provide meaningful engagement, feelings, or love to these children. Alternatively, the child may have had a prying, overbearing parent who made them feel judged and powerless in the face of this intrusion. As a response, they erected barriers around themselves and withdrew into their imaginations.

Fives shut themselves off from the outer world and their family. They would often lock themselves up in their rooms, searching for a topic or field of expertise that would allow them to find a niche in their families or society. This was a one-of-a-kind field of expertise for them.

Enneagram Type 6: Lack of Safety

Sixes were reared in an unstable environment with no safe haven. They had lost hope that they would ever be safe. As a result, they resorted to their own internal defence of denying reality and dismissing their own instincts/inner direction.

In order to receive approval from guardian figures, the Six ignored their own inner self. They believe that with enough help, they might be able to feel comfortable and self-sufficient. They feel cut off from their own inner wisdom and in an endeavour to discover their “tribe,” they can be cordial or confrontational. They are obsessed with determining the “best” plan of action.

Enneagram Type 7: Lack of Nurturance

These children were either deprived of nurturing or had been taken away too soon. They dealt with this lack by looking for ways to divert themselves from the anxiety and sorrow. They chose to focus on good possibilities and depend on themselves to achieve their goals and feel nurtured.

Sevens learnt to cope with this by focusing on “transitional items,” or toys and hobbies that would fill the void inside. They acquired the subliminal message that they needed to take care of themselves because no one else could. As a result, they’d seek for distractions, hobbies, opportunities, and things that would pique their interest and keep them occupied.

Enneagram Type 8: Lack of Vulnerability

These children frequently grew up in dangerous emotional or physical settings and had to mature far too quickly. They may have felt restrained since they didn’t feel secure to display any sensitivity. Because their vulnerability was utilised against them, they concentrated solely on increasing their toughness.

They are often bold and adventurous children, and as a consequence, they were routinely punished. They decide to adopt an air of indifference and dogged determination in order to protect their mind from these recurrent punishments. They will dwell in continual fear of rejection and abandonment if they had an abusive upbringing in some manner.

Enneagram Type 9: Neglect

To the very core of their being., these children felt worthless or “lost” because they were forgotten or neglected. They were neglected or assaulted for having needs or asserting themselves (particularly anger), so they chose to stay under the radar and concentrate on the needs and problems of others.

Imagine a child wearing headphones and playing games while their parents fought in this other room. They fantasise about happier times, attempt to block out their anxieties and fear, and divert their attention away from their own emotions.

Nines have a tough time distinguishing their own feelings from those of others since they are so attached to the people they love. Instead of creating their own distinct identity, they are given a sense of belonging by their parents. It’s as though they’ve been strangled inside their own bodies. They learn to become numb to pain, reject their emotions, and fade into obscurity.

If you’re facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.


In this article, we looked at the childhood wounds of watch enneagram type. This article also explored the covert messages each enneagram type received which influenced their personality.

Frequently Asked Questions: Enneagram Childhood Wounds

Can your Enneagram change from childhood?

No, it’s not true. Most people believe that our personality type patterns are so deeply embedded that they continue to control our experiences across our lives.However, our personalities do change so there might be a chance that our personality type could switch too. Other personality types’ patterns, on the other hand, are experienced and developed by us.

What is the rarest Enneagram?

Type 8 
According to the survey’s findings, Type 8 The Challenger is the most rare Enneagram, followed by Type 5 and Type 2. Type 9 is the most prevalent Enneagram type, accounting for 14.4% of the population studied.

What do Enneagram 9s struggle with?

High Sensitivity
Nines appear calm and unflustered at times, but they are actually quite sensitive. They are frequently overwhelmed by the noise, competitiveness, and cruelty of others. Many Nines say they are constantly knocked down by tales of corruption or heavy demands from their spouses or employers.

Which Enneagram is prone to depression?

So, depending on their characteristics, which Enneagram personality type is most likely to suffer from depression? It has to be Type Four. For a number of causes, Type 4s are prone to depression. They’re the one type that feels marginalised and needs their distinct personalities to be recognised.

Why is the Enneagram helpful?

The Enneagram, formerly known as the Enneagram of Personality Types, was first developed in the 1900s as a model of the human psyche. Although it can assist you to recognize your attitude, talents, and struggles in life, it can also help us explore how we interact with ourselves, others, and our environment.

What does a healthy Enneagram 5 look like?

Type Five in Brief
Fives are sensitive, perceptive, and inquisitive. They have the ability to reflect and work on the creation of complex concepts and abilities. They will become obsessed with their thoughts and imagined objects while being independent, imaginative, and creative. They become withdrawn, but tense and strong at the same time.

What does a healthy Enneagram 6 look like?

Sixes are trustable, dependable, industrious, and accountable. They are excellent “problem solvers,” anticipating issues and encouraging teamwork, but they can also become aggressive, evasive, and nervous, living on stress and whining about it. They can be tentative and unsure of themselves, as well as reactive, stubborn, and rebellious.

How common is Enneagram Type 9?

Enneagram 9s are very common. In a Truity survey of over 54,000 people, Type Nines were found to account for roughly 13% of the population, with 14 percent of women and 12 percent of males.

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