Do Enneagram 8s Get Jealous? (A Complete Guide)
This article will take a look at the type 8 enneagram and answer the question as to whether they get jealous or not in relationships. The article will also comment on how they behave in their intimate relationships and also introduce the enneagram to the readers in detail. The article will also point out traits that this enneagram has that contributes to their behaviours in relationships.
Do Enneagram 8s Get Jealous?
Yes, the type 8 enneagram does get jealous when it comes to the relationships they are in, especially the intimate ones. They have a need to be able to be in control of their environment and access whatever ‘resources’ they have. They have many good traits that involve being good and caring towards their partner and this sometimes makes them feel as if they have the right to control certain or most aspects of their lives.
They become offensive if they think someone else is invading their space and getting access to their ‘people’. This is when they see red flags and you will see them immersed in feelings of jealousy. At first, they will try to control their own selves as much as they can, however, if it crosses the limit they will become offensive and confront the other person and sometimes their own partner.
They are scared that they will be controlled by others and hence they try to keep whatever they consider as their own close by and away from the reach of others. This mentality further fuels their jealous nature. To make things worse, these enneagrams are quite confrontational and even have issues with controlling their temper.
Later on, we will look at the traits or beliefs they have that contribute to their jealous nature.
Enneagram Type 8: The Challenger
This enneagram type can be described as confident, confrontational, decisive and assertive as well. They do not hesitate to voice out their opinions or take a stand for what they firmly believe in. Furthermore, these individuals are focused on what they want and will not stop at anything when it comes to achieving their goals or desires.
However, although they are resourceful and generally straightforward people, these enneagram types are affected by their ego and can be dominating when it comes to being around other people. They want to have what it is that makes them feel complete or whole and as we said they will do anything in their power to get it!
At their best, they will be very generous especially because of the number of resources they usually possess and use their power and influence to make the lives of people better. However, they sometimes have issues in controlling their temper and become vulnerable or expose their weak points.
All in all, this enneagram type is indeed ambitious and won’t stop at anything from achieving its goals. This deep desire to be successful and independent is also derived from their fear of being controlled or manipulated by others which is likely to happen if they are not strong or independent enough!
These are the two things that drive the enneagram type 8:
- The Basic Fear
- The Basic Desire
The Basic Fear
When it comes to enneagram type 8, their basic fear is to be controlled or manipulated by others to the extent that they end up hurting themselves. They want to be independent and in control of their own lives. What they fear is being exposed or vulnerable so that someone can take advantage of the power or influence they have over the enneagram type 8 individual.
As a result of this fear, they avoid being helpless in situations and try to stand up for themselves all the time – this could be one reason why they ensure they are so resourceful and independent! However, if they are scared enough, they will avoid situations where they feel vulnerable.
If you’re facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.
The Basic Desire
Of course their basic desire stems from their fear of being controlled! The type 8 enneagram wants to be in control of their own life. They do not want to live in the constant fear that they will be manipulated or influenced by another being! As a person, they want to be able to take decisions for themselves and hence they are passionate about standing up against injustice not only against their own being but that of others! They understand how it feels to be powerless and hence do not want this for anyone else either.
Is It Just Jealousy Or Something Else Too?
In this section, we will look at other areas where the type 8 enneagram lags when it comes to relationships!
Yes, the type8 enneagram is emotionally vulnerable because they get quite attached to the person they are involved with and may even put aside their emotions to cater their needs and insecurities.
Hence, in relationships the type 8 enneagram may be vulnerable to more emotional harm than the average person is.
Lack Decision Making
In relationships, the type 8 enneagram often lets their partner make the decisions for them because they not only trust their partner too much but also they want to show their partner how much they are willing to listen to them. This is not advisable in a relationship of any sort because every person has the right to think for themself!
Too Soft When It Comes To Resolving Issues
Out of love and care for their partners, the type 8 enneagram may become somewhat soft in their approach when it comes to problems they need to solve with their partner. They might become soft to the extent they do not consider some problems as problems they usually would! This may allow their partner to get away with behaviours that are totally unacceptable! They might become delusional because they want things to be perfect and take on a better shape and hence they fail to recognize the obstacles that need to be tackled in a firm manner!
As discussed before, these enneagrams are just too jealous and there are a number of reasons for it that center around their belief and of course their desires. They want to be the only one for the person they are madly in love with. Also, even in relationships where there is no physical intimacy, they expect to be placed at priority. They want to be in control of their environment and make that apparent to everyone, especially outsiders.
They will clearly show their unhappy side when someone tries to come and intervene between them and their close ones and often take a more confrontational approach when things get out of hand or the situation has carried on for long enough. There is no way they will let someone else come between them and the person they want for their own self!
This not only makes them more and more angry but adds to the stress and anxiety they experience as individuals. They also become more offensive because they have no isse confronting others.
How To Improve In A Relationship – Type 8 Enneagrams
Here are ways for an enneagram type 8 to improve in a relationship:
- Think for themself
- Take their own decisions after taking input from their partner
- Not ignore red flags
- Set up healthy boundaries
- Take care of their emotional health too
- Engage in healthy activities with their partner
- They should have expectations from their partner too
- Voice out their concerns & needs
The type 8 enneagram should follow these guidelines when it comes to ensuring not only their partner but they too feel safe and comfortable in a relationship!
Why do type 8 enneagrams become so jealous? Let us look at some desires or beliefs they have which contribute to this feeling:
- They believe they have a right to access what is theirs
- They are confrontational
- They invest too much in people – expect loyalty
- They want to control their environment
- Fear losing their loved ones
- May be insecure – others might win over their loved ones
This article took an in depth look at the type 8 enneagram and discussed the jealous side of its nature. The article explained why they become jealous and also highlighted other issues they have when they are in relationships. The type 8 enneagram was also introduced in detail to the audience and tips were also given on how to improve their behaviour.