Depression after losing virginity (+Why it can happen)

This article will discuss why people can experience depression right after they lose their virginity. For that, the article will explain what virginity is, how losing can affect you emotionally, and in what ways it affects your body.

Can people feel depressed after they lose their virginity?

Yes, losing your virginity can make you feel depressed. It might not be a depressive disorder, but it can cause you to experience feelings similar to ones that people have when they are depressed.

This may seem strange since most people may relate having sexual intercourse with a release of hormones that are connected to happiness such as serotonin, and oxytocin. Sex is seen as something that would help people relax and bring joy.

But it is not like this for everyone and not every time. When men lose their virginity, they can experience a rush of positive feelings. Their self-esteem may increase. The main concern boys seem to have, which can lead to getting depressed after they lose their virginity, is the size of their penises.

But women may experience this moment differently. After losing their virginity they can become more concerned about their body image, and how their partner will see them.

This can cause them to experience depression-like symptoms. But this is not a common occurrence, it happens to a small group of people. But it seems more common in younger girls, who are around 15 years old because they are still forming their notion of self-esteem and self-confidence. 

Another matter that seems to relate to it is the bond they have with their partners. Young girls that have lost their virginity to boys they didn’t have a strong connection with can easily become depressed after they lose their virginity. 

Along with that, if a girl ends a relationship in which she has been sexually active, there is a higher chance of her developing mental illness, than a girl in a relationship that didn’t involve sex.

It is also possible to experience depression after you lose your virginity if you feel you weren’t ready for it. If you have the feeling that you have done it due to peer pressure because your partner was pressuring you, or even that you did it on an impulse, which is so common when you are a teenager.

You need to keep in mind that virginity is something you will lose only once and that it should be done in a moment when you feel ready, with someone you want to do it with. Try to make yourself and your boundaries heard.

Once you lose your virginity you will go through many hormonal changes, and those can affect your mood, causing you to experience depression after you lose your virginity. Another matter that can make you feel like that is the social stigma that can come from being sexually active.

This can happen especially to girls who lose their virginity before marriage, or without being in a relationship. So if this happens to you, you might feel judged by people around you which can make you feel extremely guilty. This horrible feeling can harm your self-esteem and even your mental health.

Another matter that seems to dictate if a person will develop depression after they lose their virginity is if it goes as they planned. There is usually a lot of expectation around having sex for the first time. You may have spent a lot of time thinking about how you wanted it to be. 

This is often true for girls that may have spent a long time not only imagining the moment but also who they would do it with. So if by any chance things don’t go the way they had imagined, it can make them so sad and frustrated that they can develop depression.

If you’re facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.

What is virginity?

Losing one’s virginity means that the person is having sexual intercourse, in a penetrative manner, for the first time. It is usually described as the first time the man’s penis penetrates the woman’s private area. But some cultural differences can apply to this definition.

What are the emotional stages of losing your virginity?

When you lose your virginity, you may experience some emotional stages. Firstly you may feel a sense of bliss because you have had sex. You experienced something amazing with someone you wanted.

And even though it is never perfect, or quite as you had imagined, you can feel happy and satisfied. After that, you may enter a phase of denial. You might not believe what has happened. 

You spent all your life being a virgin that now it may seem strange to be sexually active and deal with the responsibilities which that entails.

But after some time you may have adjusted to your new condition and you allow yourself to experience more about your sexuality. Exploring this side of you will not only let you know what you like in bed but also how to communicate with the person you will have intercourse, with and who you are as a sexual being.

What changes in your body after you lose your virginity?

Once you lose your virginity, it can lead to some changes in your body. For a girl, her feminine area is altered. It becomes more flexible, so you don’t feel pain anymore. As you have more intercourse, your private region won’t lose itself, but it will become more flexible.

After you have intercourse, your nipples also get sore, which can make them sensitive. This happens due to increased blood flow in the area when you are aroused, but it will go away after the intercourse. And as said before, your hormone levels also change after you have sex.

When you have intercourse you will have a rush of endorphins, oxytocin, and dopamine. Those can usually make you feel happier, and help you create a bond with the person you had intercourse with.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): Can people feel depressed after they lose their virginity? 

How do I deal with regret after losing my virginity? 

If you have decided to lose your virginity, you should take into consideration that even though it is described as the first experience of penetrative sex, it is a broader concept that can relate to everything you might experience for the first time. 

So even if you feel like that first experience wasn’t good, sex is something that is supposed to be fun and positive, and with time you will have another experience that feels better.

But if you had it with a partner and you now regret it, you may try and discuss it with them. Try to understand what is causing you to regret it, and forgive yourself for what you have done. 

If after that you are considering celibacy, think of what this implies to you, and what are the conditions in which you would feel comfortable having intercourse again. This will allow you to learn from this previous experience and plan a future in which you feel more comfortable with having sex.

What can be the problems of being a virgin for too long? 

Not having sex for too long, or even staying a virgin for a long time can harm you. You may become slower in your actions and in your thoughts, which can make your ideas not be so great.

You may also have a lot of frustration build upon you, and it might be hard to find some release for that. Not having sex can also affect your confidence. You may feel like you lost your ability to feel good as one does after they have had intercourse.

And finally, not having sex for a long time can make your bleader weaker. When you have sex, you work on muscles that will help you keep your pee in. But when you go a long time without it your pelvic floor muscles have a good chance of getting weaker.

Can a gynecologist tell if I am still a virgin? 

No, it is not possible for a gynecologist to tell if you are a virgin or not by doing a physical exam. But it is extremely important to tell them when you are no longer a virgin.

When that is the case, there are specific exams that need to be done to check how your health is in that sense. Not only that, by telling them you already have sex, you can discuss with them ways of birth control, and how to engage in safe sex. They may give you a lot of information that can make this experimenting phase a lot safer.

Why may virginity be a bad concept? 

Virginity is a concept that has been in society for many centuries. It has been a sign that a woman had more value. But in time this may be harming people’s lives. 

One reason for that is that people usually relate virginity to a sexist idea. While women should save themselves for the right partner, or even a husband, a man is encouraged to lose his virginity as soon as he can, to show he is a powerful man.

To many people, losing their virginity can also lead to negative labeling. The person’s peers may start to call them names just because they allowed themselves to have sexual intercourse with someone. And in the same direction, it causes women to be devalued for the amount of sex she has.

Virginity is also a heteronormative concept, which can cause people from other sexual points to feel left out. Increasing the prejudice and discrimination against them. It erases people that have not only different sexual orientations but also people that don’t answer to the binary gender construct such as transgender people.

What is the name given to staying a virgin until marriage?

When a person waits until marriage to lose their virginity it is said that they are in celibacy. This means that they are in a state of voluntary sexual abstinent. This may be done in an attempt to wait for marriage, but other people may do it as an expression of religious belief.

Since many religions say that sexual intercourse should happen only between man and wife, people that follow those religions may choose to abstain from sex, and only do it when it seems right to their religious beliefs.


This article explained if people can feel depressed after they lose their virginity, and why this can happen. Along with that, the article showed what are things that change in your body, and your mind once you lose your virginity.

If you have any question or comment about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.


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