Can Enneagram 4 be Happy? (A complete guide)

In this article, we attempt to answer the question – “Can Enneagram 4 be happy?” by discussing the traits and characteristics of a type 4 personality. If you would like to know how this works, keep reading as under.

Enneagram is a theory that offers an explanation for understanding the human personality in terms of nine different types. It explains the different types of personalities with the help of a geometric figure like that of a regular nine-sided polygon. 

Can enneagram 4 be happy?

Yes, Enneagram 4s can be happy when they are at their best. 4s are the most creative and intuitive personality types, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise because it is really easy for them to become happy. They often try to enjoy the little things and look for beauty in everything. They connect deeply with nature and when functioning at their healthiest level, are able to regulate their emotions well.

Enneagram defined

The word enneagram comes from the Greek word “Ennea” which means nine and “Gramma” which means something that is written or drawn. Enneagram consequently literally means nine different types of illustrations. According to this theory a person’s personality can be identified as one of the nine possible combinations that are inclusive of one’s beliefs, values and motivations.

The formal definition of Enneagram is as follows:

“A system of classifying personality types that is based on a nine-pointed starlike figure inscribed within a circle in which each of the nine points represent a personality type and its psychological motivations influencing a person’s emotions, attitudes, and behaviours.

What is the Enneagram type 4?

The Enneagram type 4 personality is one among the feeling centres. Individuals who have type 4 personality think of themselves as very unique and different from the usual. Their basic desire is to be able to find the true meaning of their existence and their basic fear is to not have an identity. By nature, 4s are self-aware, moody, sensitive, and artistic as they find their escape by expressing through their art.

4s tend to feel emotions in a very intense manner which is why they seek opportunities to express their feelings in a passionate manner. They are also very emotional in that sense and are always on the lookout for the missing piece that could complete their life. Also known as the romantics, 4s can idealise and romanticise very quickly which is often not beneficial for them. 4s desire to surround themselves with beauty and aesthetics which they believe gives them a unique sense of identity.

When under stress, 4s become unhealthy 2s and their emotional needs become of prime important to them. When flourishing, 4s become healthy 1s which enhances their ability to work objectively and more realistically than in a dreamy state.

What makes the type 4 sad?

Type 4 individuals have a lot to deal with owing to their contrasting tendencies in times of growth and crisis. They are highly sensitive individuals and therefore tend to be absorbing information and emotions more deeply than other personality types. Some of the areas where 4s struggle are as follows:

  • Meaningless conversations –

What can really upset and stress out 4s is meaningless casual conversation. They may be good at small talk but they hate engaging in idle chit chat. This is because they are highly introspective and tend to look beyond what is visible explicitly.

  • Authenticity –

Being unoriginal makes 4s disconnected and they lose interest. Mundane tasks, routines, and monotonous natured works are never a good idea for 4s. They need their space to be able to create something new out of what already exists.

  • Romanticising –

As much as 4s enjoy romanticising almost everything in their life, they become very disappointed when events do not turn out as in their fantasy. They are also very aware of this negative trait, but cannot help getting lost in their world of thoughts.

  • Envy –

It is very easy for a 4 to feel envious. They always look at themselves as unique and strive to stand out from the crowd. This search for their identity often leads them to be misunderstood and they begin to feel bad for themselves. This brings in dissatisfaction and they get agitated with the stagnancy in their life.

What makes the type 4 happy?

It is very easy to make a fellow 4 happy. The trick lies in all their weaknesses and shortcomings. If they pay closer attention to their need, 4s can become self-independent and take care of their moral, emotional and social needs on their own.

  • Being creative –

The best way to make a 4 happy is to give them the freedom to be creative. To be able to express their emotions in the form of art gives them the utmost level of happiness. If a friend or significant other does something creative for them, it makes they very happy.

  • Appreciation –

Sometimes 4s can be very critical of themselves and end up putting a lot of undue pressure upon themselves. By being appreciated and acknowledged, they feel that their efforts are valued and that they have been cared for if they receive compliments for their work.

  • Deep connections –

4s are suckers for deep meaningful conversations. Being the feelers that they are, being able to connect with another person gives them a sense of being understood. Long conversations about life, meaning of things, and other ideas gives them happiness from within.

  • Nature –

To be able to connect with nature is one of the best ways for 4s to rejuvenate. Long walks in the parks, the smell of the rain, sunshine, etc can fill them with positivity and hope which helps them battle all of their struggles.

Conclusion 

In this article, we looked at “What makes enneagram type 4s happy”

It is true that 4s can easily get affected by negativity and like to dwell in melancholy. Bu tis is fairly simple to make them happy. They appreciate the little things in life, look for beauty in all things, want deep connections, and seek for opportunities to grow and express themselves fully. If they are given the space and freedom to be themselves, they can really flourish and become better individuals by the day.

FAQ’s 

How do I make my enneagram type 4 happy?

The most important qualities an enneagram 4 looks for in any relationship include authenticity, humour, trustworthiness, and compassion. To make an enneagram 4 happy, it is important to communicate openly with them and how them your true feelings. They have a great appreciation for art and humour so try to be creative and spontaneous.

Is enneagram type 4 bad?

No enneagram type is bad, each has their own strengths and struggles. Enneagram 4’s are one of the most intuitive and introspective types of personalities. They are often found struggling with being moody and temperamental. They can also indulge in self-loathing and as a result experience shame and envy. It is important for them to be reminded of their uniqueness that works well in keeping them grounded.

How do you handle enneagram 4?

In times of conflicts, all an enneagram 4 needs is honest communication of feelings and emotions. When stressed, they go to type 1 which brings out the critique in them. They get really anxious and begin to try to control everything. In order to handle a 4 in such a situation, it is best to give them the space to share their thoughts and emotions. Acknowledge and honour their feelings to comfort them which helps with the anxiety and anger.

What does a healthy enneagram 4 look like?

A healthy enneagram 4 is very much self-aware and confident in their own skin. They do not fear connecting with people and are open to new experiences. They are also very accepting of themselves as they understand their emotions and do not shy away from conflicts or confrontations with others.

How do you love an enneagram type 4?

4’s are also known as the romantics of the enneagram types. It is very easy to love enneagram 4 but can easily derail if you are not cautious. They have a tendency to romanticise everything and so it is important to deeply connect with them. Show them that you value them and give them lots of compliments. Express your love in different ways and give them attention.

What is the rarest enneagram type?

Enneagram 8s are the rarest of all enneagram types. 8s are challengers and are said to have born leadership qualities. They enjoy challenging themselves and have enormous willpower and vitality. Some of the famous 8 personalities include Donald Trump, Pablo Picasso, & Indira Gandhi.

References 

https://www.truity.com/blog/how-cope-enneagram-type-4-under-stress

https://www.enneagramplayground.com/happiness-for-type-fours.html

https://www.theworldcounts.com/happiness/enneagram-number-4-personality-type-four-individualist

https://intervarsity.org/blog/reflections-enneagram-four-learning-not-let-emotions-rule

https://theenneagramatwork.com/type-4-romantic

https://www.enneagrammer.com/type-4

https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2020/04/20/7-struggles-of-the-enneagram-four-personality-type/

https://www.personalitycafe.com/threads/what-makes-4s-truly-happy.985802/

http://www.enneagram-monthly.com/on-being-a-four.html

Geetanjali soni is an Organisational psychologist from Bangalore, India. She wishes to promote psychology as a subject by bringing psychological principles to the professional world and generating experiences for people

Leave a Comment