Can an Enneagram 3 be an introvert? (+tips to spot one)

In this brief guide, we will discuss the question “Can an enneagram 3 be an introvert?” and other topics related to enneagram 3 personality type, like enneagram 3w4 and enneagram type 3 intimacy.

Can an Enneagram 3 be an introvert?

Yes, Enneagram 3 can be an introvert, as these types are meant to be more ambitious and driven, but they do not have to be extroverted like the type 7 personality which is also quite driven to achieve and explore new things.

The Enneagram type 3 individuals mostly report that even if they are introverted, they feel that they can be social if they want to be and that for most of them it tends to depend on who they are with and what their goals are at the moment.

The Basic fear of the Enneagram type 3 has nothing to do with apple and everything to do with achievement, and not feeling like a failure or feeling like they are not good enough for something, which means that even if they are not necessarily getting along with people or being outgoing, it might be alright with them as long as their goals are not hampered.

The enneagram type 3 may also pick up the energy or vibe that’s around them and they may often try to read the room and the people that they are with and act accordingly, rather than feeling like they just need to be themselves and be energetic, which proves that outgoing tendencies and over-energetic attitude are not necessarily a big part of who they are as a rule.

Because the enneagram type 3 personality’s locus of control is external and conforming or achieving things in the society is what they truly care about, chances are that if being an introvert is necessary, the enneagram type 3 will do it.

Some enneagram 3’s may also feel like introverts because they are just too focused and too driven and sometimes they may feel like dealing with people or expending energy in social situations might take precious time away from their dreams and plans, which is not something they may want to do.

Enneagram 3’s are often called chameleons because of their ability to blend in and change their personas to match the people around them, and for this reason, they may identify with the MBTI personality type of INFP as well, which may make them feel like an introvert.

An introvert may also be introverted and people-pleasing most of the time, not ruffling any features but being pleasant enough at the same time, and they may often be quiet and respectfully attentive to the people talking around them, but at the same time, they may come alive in front of the people closest to them.

Being an introvert does not mean that there are no people and this person feels comfortable with, it only means that the person feels most comfortable with themselves, which may be very true for an enneagram type as well.

Lastly, when trying to figure out if an Enneagram type 3 can be an introvert, one may also want to look at the wings of type 3, which are 3w2 and 3w4, as there may be some possibility of introversion when other personality types are involved, especially the type 4, which is famous as being the most introverted personality type, evident in their name, the Individualist.

Enneagram 3 wing 2

The 3 wing 2 personality type is known for traits such as ambition, confidence, a need to do well in society as well as being with people or taking care of people in general, and they may be very focused on their goals.

The personality type of 3 wing 4 also seems to have a tendency to get along well with people and employ their superior interpersonal skills to achieve goals effectively, as the basic desire of this personality stays true to that of enneagram type 3, which is to seek success and the fear of failure and being wrong.

People with type 3w2 personality, are usually extremely extroverted and they may use these talents they have about people in achieving their goals, and their vast social circle may help them a great deal.

The enneagram 3 wing 2 may also be highly adept at making new connections with ease whenever they go, and at the same time, they will also take care of the existing connections they have.

Enneagram type 3w2 is also usually very charming and enthusiastic in their behavior, but at the same time they may have an eagle-like focus on their their goals and their love for achieving will always trump everything else in their life, and sometimes they may need a little help adapting their attitude to their environment.

The 3w2 personality may often have goals that are quite altruistic, due to their high social skills and their desire of helping other people and making a difference in the community.

The Enneagram personality type 3w2 also tends to be effective at communication and this plays a huge role in their people skills as well as aids them in whatever quest they get on to achieve their goals.

Enneagram 3 wing 4

The enneagram 3 wing 4 personality tends to be ambitious and independent, as well as extroverted commonly but they may be introverted sometimes, but unlike the 3 wing 2 personality and the pure 3 personalities, they may have an added desire to seek beauty around them and be unique, and one of their main goals may be that of creating a name for themselves or making a mark on the world somehow.

The enneagram 3 wing 4 personality tends to be somewhat introverted from time to time, and they may actually fit the category of ambivert rather nicely.

These individuals have a very deep desire to create something significant, or leave behind an amazing legacy, as they are a mix of ambition and the artist or romantic, and they also have the creative talents to show for it.

The 3w4 personality has the core traits of the enneagram personality type 3, and when these are combined with the amazingly romantic and individualist, creative traits of the enneagram type 4, the result is someone with intense drive and ambition geared towards accomplishing something great and wanting to be significant.

The wing on type 4 does not make the usually intense type 3 any more mellow, instead, the desires that fuel the type 4, which are wanting to be important and make a unique identity, may get fueled by the ambition and achievement-focused attitude of type 3, and appear in them in the form of a drive and motivation to achieve a status befitting someone with a great identity.

The 3w4 tends to be very focused and serious in their behaviour, and may very often seem like an introvert, especially the type of introvert known as the thinking introvert, which is a type that is focused on logical and analytical assessment and processing of data as opposed to the kind that takes action in real-time and focuses more on gathering information.

3w4 may also show a great deal of focus on their career, and they may be the kind people that ignore other things almost constantly if their career needs their attention.

Enneagram Type 3 Intimacy

It is well-known that enneagram type 3 is driven by their need to achieve and they care about little else the way they do about goals, and what that might suggest about the enneagram type 3 intimacy is that they may put career and other goals first and not rush into intimate relationships very easily.

The enneagram type 3 intimacy may be thoroughly dominated by the tendency to form relationships that are also good for their goals, not necessarily in a selfish way, but more in the manner of trying to figure out if the intimacy will state out of the way of their work and goals.

The Enneagram type 3 may sometimes be somewhat intense, not as much as the type 8 or 1, but they are so driven and the idea of intimacy with the type 3 may seem like a very emotionally charged experience.

However, this may not be the case always, particularly if they have a wing 2 type, as that type is very good with people and those interpersonal skills may come in handy where intimacy is concerned.

There is also a theory about enneagram type 3 intimacy and needs that has been seen in multiple places, and an article on psychologyjunkie website talks about the childhood wounds of the type 3 personality and how that may affect what they do, how they do it and what that means for their intimacy roles.

If you’re facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.

“As children, Threes felt deeply connected to the nurturing figure in their life. This could have been the mother or father, depending on the home. They learned to intuit the nurturing parent’s needs before they were expressly stated and strived to meet those needs. They sensed that they were loved for what they achieved rather than who they were. When they received a look of approval, they basked in it, and worked hard to gain that look of approval again. Unlike the Two, who tried to gain approval through being needed or nurturing, Threes gained approval by achieving goals, success, and benchmarks. They gathered tokens of achievement in hopes of being loved. These could have been actual medals or trophies or straight A’s.”

“Threes developed the habit of working on their ego-self rather than their true self. They struggled with an underlying feeling that their true self was undeserving or worthless. In secret, they often believed that if people knew who they really were they would reject or abandon them. So they tried to look good, smile brightly, and win prizes or achievements that would distract them and others from the true self inside.”

This theory suggests that the external locus of control regarding goals that the enneagram type 3 shows may be due to the fact that they were not given the kind of unconditional positive regard or love and affection that one needs to feel like they are great on their own; the healthy version of this would be someone praising a child for their good scores, the unhealthy version would be chastising them for not getting scores that are good enough.

What this means for the enneagram type 3 intimacy is that in unhealthy type 3’s, they may often relate to their relationships the same level of condition that they experienced as a child, and their intimacy and affection may inadvertently get based upon the fulfilment of thor expectations from the relationship by the partner.

Conclusion

In this brief guide, we discussed the question “Can an enneagram 3 be an introvert?” and other topics related to enneagram 3 personality type, like enneagram 3w4 and enneagram type 3 celebrities. Please feel free to reach out to us with any questions or comments you may have.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs): Can an Enneagram 3 be an introvert?

Citations 

https://personalityjunkie.com/01/infp-intp-infj-intj-enneagram-three-3/

https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-3