Can an empath destroy a narcissist? (A complete guide)

In this article, we will answer the question ‘Can an empath destroy a narcissist?’. We will do that by initially describing an empath and a narcissist. This will follow up by describing their relationship. We will move on to discuss how narcissists destroy empaths and its reverse i.e how empaths destroy narcissists. Finally, we will discuss how to spot a narcissist and how to deal with a narcissist.

Can an empath destroy a narcissist?

Yes. An empath can destroy a narcissist. However, it is challenging and takes active effort on part of an empath to break the vicious and dysfunctional cycle of the abuser (narcissist) and abusee (empath) relationship. Their relationship is imbalanced especially since a narcissist is driven to feed off compliments and love from an empath to feel good about themselves. Along with destroying them emotionally using their manipulation skills. It takes a while for an empath to come to this realization and even harder to step up and break this cycle. However, it is possible that an empath destroys a narcissist with a few self-awareness and interaction tricks in their dealing with a narcissist.  

Empath

An empath refers to an individual who is sensitive and able to feel the emotional pain of other people.  They can understand other people’s perspectives and are driven to help and heal them.  Usually,  they hold their partner’s feelings and help them process it together.  However,  with the narcissist, this does not go well as they let the empath be the sole holder of their painful emotions and feel that this is their right. 

Narcissist

Narcissists are people with a hidden sense of insecurity.  They try to overcompensate it by using their skills to get compliments and favors from other people so that their wounded self-ego can get inflated.  Their need for admiration, self-importance, and sense of entitlement starts in early adulthood.  They have difficulty empathizing with people.  Usually, instead of owning their feelings, they project their insecurities on other people.  They are aware when people withdraw their love and care from them due to their behavior.  However, they know how to emotionally manipulate and get back the unauthentic love.

The relationship between an empath and a narcissist

A narcissist feeds on compliments,  money, and favors from other people.  An empath is generous, kind, and trusting enough to provide all this to a narcissist who feeds off them and take their advantage.  

The relationship between an empath and narcissist is unbalanced.  It resembles a parasitic relationship.  The narcissist is preoccupied with emotionally feeding off others to fulfill their egotistical needs. They use manipulation and control to you have the power in the relationship.  Whereas the empath tries to heal the wounded narcissist but ends up becoming the powerless victim.

Why the relationship continues

It is difficult for an empath to discover a narcissist and the fact that they are being used because their nature is to give love to other people unconditionally.   They justify or give explanations to a narcissist’s reasons for doing cruel things.  They even try to cure and help them but it does not happen. Since the narcissists are satisfied with who they are and do not want to change. 

An empath has an underlying belief that if they can make a person who is unable to love,  love them,  they are truly worthy of love.  In other words,  they are driven to a narcissist to desperately receive validation. This is because during their childhood they were unable to receive unconditional love from their parents.  So, they seek this validation from an unloving narcissist to restore their self-worth. The vicious cycle continues as an empath associates love with pain and continue to try to fix the narcissist and tolerates the abuse. 

Such a dyadic relationship is dysfunctional but both partners are equally responsible for the imbalance.  The empath needs to realize that they have to set boundaries and refuse to internalize the narcissist projected feelings of inferiority.  They need to walk away instead of being walked over before it is too late. 

How narcissists destroy empaths

A narcissist  can destroy an empath using:

  •  Manipulation and control especially as they are aware that empaths are susceptible to being manipulated the most.
  • An empath is less guarded and is not really careful about who to trust. Thus, a narcissist can take advantage of this and easily use their manipulation on them.
  •  A narcissist has a high ego compared to an empath who has a low ego.  As a result, a narcissist’s ego can dominate and empath.  Over time, he or she may become the victim and start to doubt themselves.  They may even develop depression. 

How empaths destroy a narcissist

 An empath does not like to be the center of attention.  However,  he/she has self-esteem and self-awareness. They don’t need external validation from others, unlike narcissists.  They have good observational and analytical skills due to which they can understand others. They have a good heart and look out for other people.  Yet, they are aware that their nature attracts narcissists, toxic people, and psychopaths.  However, they can learn how to keep such people away in a smart and discrete manner. 

On the other hand, narcissists have low self-esteem but they hide it well.  They mask their insecurities by bullying an empath.  So,  the relationship between an empath and a narcissist becomes one way a source of stress and imbalance.  The narcissist knows how to break an empath.  But an empath can fight back after recognizing this passive-aggressive behavior. 

Upon realizing this, an empath can dominate a narcissist and call upon a confrontation.  They have a unique ability to turn the tables around and clearly state who is in charge. Because of this, a narcissist’s ego that gives them a delusional power comes under threat. 

As a narcissist’s goal is to drain other people’s energy,  this is fought back by an empath who can turn cold and destroy their ego. Such an experience is highly transformational for an empath who can react to a narcissist’s inappropriate behavior by powerful silence and good comebacks.  A narcissist’s abusing behavior and statements are actually projections of their own self-perception.  They can easily play the victim and emotionally manipulate empaths. However, an empath can take the lead and destroy the narcissist by using their people skills and setting boundaries. 

How to spot a narcissist

A Narcissist puts down other people to feel good about themselves.  They use their people skills and engage in a passive-aggressive communication style to point out the mistakes and imperfections of others on a regular basis but in a subtle manner.  

They do this too to make someone feel helpless and imperfect. Doing so helps them lessen the impact of their own faults.  This is a way they avoid facing their own imperfections and maintain a sense of dominance over other people. Furthermore, they emotionally manipulate others when they withdraw from them. They become the victim and make the other person the aggressor through their words. 

Spotting these traits can help identify a covert narcissist

How to deal with a narcissist

  • When a narcissist makes fun of you,  use the same casual and light tone, and make a comeback.  This will unsettle them and they would eventually stop making such attacks.
  •  When a narcissist does things passive-aggressively,  point it out and ask them the reason behind it.  This puts them on the spot and they would have difficulty defending themselves.
  • When a narcissist points out a flaw in you,  point the same flaw in them. 
  • An empath can use their empathy as a superpower.  They can do this by going in the opposite direction of their conditioning i.e. instead of understanding other people’s pain and helping them, they can try to reflect and give themselves space. Try to understand their own pain and take care of themselves instead of others.
  • Learn to catch red flags of a  narcissist and acknowledge they exist.  Take help from a therapist and reflect on the narcissist’s and their own patterns of responding and figure how to to change them. 

FAQs: can an empath destroy a narcissist?

Do narcissists love empaths?

No. Narcissists adore empaths because they can feed off them but they do not love them in the true sense of the word since their love is driven by selfish reasons.

Can I outsmart a narcissist?

Yes. Narcissists have good people, manipulation, and controlling skills. However, one can outsmart a narcissist by being in control of one’s emotions and disarming the narcissist in the process.

What is the narcissist’s weakness?

A narcissist dislikes being embarrassed and having others point out their flaws.

What happens when you set boundaries with a narcissist?

When a person sets boundaries with a narcissist, they will try to play the victim. They will argue, blame, and minimize the other person’s feelings and call them ‘inconsiderate’ or ‘too sensitive’.

Conclusion

In this article, we answered the question ‘Can an empath destroy a narcissist?’. We found that an empath can destroy a narcissist. However, it is challenging and takes active effort on part of an empath to break the vicious and dysfunctional cycle of the abuser (narcissist) and abusee (empath) relationship. Their relationship is imbalanced especially since a narcissist is driven to feed off compliments and love from an empath to feel good about themselves. Along with destroying them emotionally using their manipulation skills. It takes a while for an empath to come to this realization and even harder to step up and break this cycle. However, it is possible that an empath destroys a narcissist with a few self-awareness and interaction tricks in their dealing with a narcissist. I hope you found this article interesting. If you have any queries or comments, please state them in the comment section 🙂

Citations

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Https://iheartintelligence.Com/narcissists-destroy-empaths/

Https://iheartintelligence.Com/the-quiet-narcissist/

Https://roseaitken.Com/three-ways-to-stay-powerful-when-dealing-with-narcissists/

https://drpartiali.com/blog-posts/2017/7/11/the-parasitic-relationship-between-a-narcissist-and-an-empath

Divya is currently a Clinical Psychology Trainee in a Master of Philosophy program and holds a Master’s in clinical psychology. She has a special interest in Personality studies and disorders, having researched the subject before, and Neuropsychology; with an additional interest being Mood disorders. She likes to write about Psychiatric issues, having worked in multiple specialty setups during her time as a clinical psychology student, and in her free time she likes to cook and read.