Are you Flaky or is it a Personality Disorder?

In this blog, we will answer the question “Are you Flaky or is it a Personality Disorder?” and cover what is a personality disorder, its types, flakiness, and avoidant personality disorder, its treatment, its signs, its symptoms, its causes, and frequently asked questions

Are you Flaky or is it a Personality Disorder?

Flakiness refers to a person’s tendency to flake on plans with friends, family, co-workers, etc. People who flake on plans are known as flaky which isn’t necessarily a disorder but if someone often flakes on plans it can point towards a personality disorder. 

What is being flaky?

If you’re getting the jitters as a flight approaches, you may be suffering from anxiety, which can present bodily as well as emotionally. As a societal duty approaches, you could have a “jittery gut” and experience some unwelcome fluttering in your tummy. 

Increased anxiety makes you afraid of even the smallest things, preventing you from enjoying your life to the max, including enjoying otherwise enjoyable social activities. We may postpone arrangements when we’ve been utterly exhausted, frequently overloaded, or simply worn out and want some personal time to recover without doing anything! 

This is particularly true for introverts who require a significant amount of personal time. You could be flaking after several nights out and are completely fatigued, or you might be tuckered out after going back to work.

Conversely, you may discover that you’re stretching yourself excessively far by arranging too many arrangements with various individuals in order to satisfy all and find time for everyone who matters to you. The irony is that it may backfire, as you may find yourself canceling your arrangements!

It might be difficult to schedule social events or dates if you have poor self-esteem about your external appearance or temperament (and how others see you). You may feel exceedingly exposed and judged as ones that put themselves out there. 

When your concerns are exaggerated, it may be really uncomfortable. You escape being scrutinized or demeaned when you reject arrangements and avoid mingling. You’re more prone to flake if your self-esteem is poor.

Flakes are frequently persons who were either spoiled by their parents as children or were mistreated by their family. Flaky people, in any case, are frequently the outcome of a lifetime of poor parenting. 

They’ve been trained to take improper command of all circumstances. They are excessively afraid of getting hurt and/or desertion, so they wield power by never allowing others to truly participate in their life.

What is Personality Disorder is linked with flakiness?

Personality Disorders are conditions in which a person has a distinct and persistent pattern of behavior, feelings, and thoughts that deviate from the way most people behave, feel, and think. These patterns are often exhibited in a variety of settings and can cause significant problems in personal and professional life. 

However, for a personality disorder to be diagnosed by a mental health professional, it must be evident in a variety of contexts, not just in a clinical setting. 

Because of the way Personality Disorders manifest themselves, it can be difficult to know when a person is experiencing symptoms of the Disorder and when a person is simply displaying behavior that is out of the ordinary.

Most of us have had the experience of meeting someone and immediately feeling a strong sense of “this person is a little bit weird” or “doesn’t quite seem like everyone else.” If you’ve ever had this experience, you’ve probably wondered what makes some people like that a little bit weird, or what makes them seem a bit different from other people. 

The truth is, there are a number of different personality disorders, and some of them are much better understood than others. 

A person with a personality disorder is fundamentally different from a person without one. This difference can be seen in the way they behave, think, and feel. Personality disorders are diagnosed when a person has repeated patterns of behavior and thoughts that deviate from the norm. 

There are five recognized personality disorders: 

  • Borderline personality disorder 
  • Narcissistic personality disorder 
  • Avoidant personality disorder 
  • Antisocial personality disorder 
  • Schizoid personality disorder
  • Histrionic personality disorder

There are a few personality problems that might cause you to flake a lot. Avoidant personality disorder, for illustration, can lead to feelings of inadequacy in patients. People who suffer will want to escape any circumstance where they’d be scrutinized, from job to social events. 

People try to isolate themselves as a result of this. The avoidant behaviour is generally long-lasting, and the illness goes beyond social anxiety. Making and maintaining friendships is extremely challenging for persons with avoidant personality disorder.

What is Avoidant Personality Disorder (AVPD)?

It is a type of personality disorder. It’s a behavioral pattern and thinking that causes problems in a person’s life and relationships. AVPD causes someone to have a lot of shame and feel inferior.

AVPD is a type of personality disorder, which means it’s a long-term pattern of thinking, behaving and reacting that differs from what’s considered normal or healthy. 

It’s also known as an avoidant personality disorder (AVPD), which is a better description of the condition than the medical term because it highlights the key feature of the condition: a tendency to avoid social situations and the people in them. 

It’s sometimes called social anxiety disorder, but that’s an outdated and misleading label because people with AVPD don’t all have anxiety. Some people with AVPD also avoid eye contact, physical contact, and other social norms.

It is a long-term pattern of behavior and thinking that causes a person to feel extremely shy, sensitive, and uncomfortable in social situations. AVPD causes a person to avoid situations that may cause them to feel embarrassed or criticized, in an attempt to reduce the amount of stress they experience. 

People with AVPD can also feel anxious in situations where they are expected to perform or be the center of attention. This can make it difficult for people with APD to function in daily life, where they are frequently required to interact with others.

It causes a lot of difficulties in relationships and causes people to feel isolated and lonely. It also causes people to have a lot of problems in their careers, education, and other areas of their lives.

If you’re facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.

Reasons for Avoidant personality disorder being linked with flakiness

The exact cause of AVPD is not known, but it is believed to be caused by a combination of factors that influence a person’s behaviour and thinking from a very young age. These factors may include the way a person is treated by others, their family history and experiences, their temperament, and their environment. 

It is also likely that AVPD is influenced by biological factors such as hormones, temperament, and temperament genes.

It is believed to be inherited, although there are also many environmental factors that may contribute to the development of AVPD. Some researchers believe that childhood abuse and neglect may play a role in the development of Avoidant Personality Disorder. If this is the case, then Avoidant Personality Disorder is likely to run in families.

It’s believed that a person with avoidant personality disorder experiences a stressful life event, such as a divorce or the death of a parent, at a young age. This triggers a biological response that causes the symptoms of avoidant personality disorder. The symptoms are long-lasting and can’t be cured.

Treatment of Avoidant Personality Disorder

AVPD is often treated with medication, psychotherapy, and/or behavioral therapy. Psychotherapy and behavioral therapy are a form of treatment that can help change the way a person thinks and behaves, which can in turn help to reduce the symptoms of the disorder. 

Avoidant personality disorder is most commonly diagnosed in childhood or early adolescence, although it can occur at any age. It can vary in severity, and some people may only experience a few symptoms. 

It can often be treated with therapy, although medication may be necessary for some people to feel better.

Because the cause of AVPD is not always clear, it can be difficult for people to understand why they feel the way that they do and to recognize the symptoms of the condition. However, there is treatment for AVPD, including psychotherapy and medication. 

Psychotherapy is the treatment of choice for APD, as it helps a person to understand the root causes of their symptoms and develop coping strategies that work for them.

Use the next moment you feel like you’re slacking as a chance to reflect. Look back over your flaking record to determine if there’s a trend. If your inconsistency appears to be related to anything more severe, seek help from a mental health expert. 

Nevertheless, if you’re coping with an irregular acquaintance, express sympathy and recognize that you shouldn’t take it to heart because there might be a psychological health rationale.


We answered the question “Are you Flaky or is it a Personality Disorder?” and understood what flakiness is, what is personality disorders, what is avoidant personality disorder, treatment for AVPD, and reasons for AVPD being linked to Flakiness. 

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs):  Are you Flaky or is it a Personality Disorder?

What is an example of avoidant personality disorder?

People with this disorder avoid social engagement, including at work, for fear of being judged or dismissed, or of others disapproving of them. They could, for instance, perform the following: They may decline a raise out of fear of being chastised by their coworkers.

What are three avoidant personality symptoms?

In social situations and interactions, they suffer great anxiety (nervousness) and dread, prompting them to avoid hobbies or employment that need them to interact with others. Because they are afraid of making a mistake or being embarrassed, they are timid, uncomfortable, and self-conscious in social situations.

How can I know if I’m avoidant?

Signs of having avoidant personality disorders are :

  • They have difficulty expressing or feeling their feelings. 
  • Physical proximity and contact cause discomfort. 
  • Accusing their spouse of being too attached or clinging. 
  • Refusing to accept assistance or emotional support from others.
  • They are more than prone to avoid physical contact.
  • Avoid making direct eye contact.
  • Never, or only on exceptional occasions, seek assistance.
  • Eat in an unusual or disorderly manner.

What causes this erratic behaviour?

People’s anxious and depressed lifestyles, conflicting obligations, and constant availability to each other via new tech, or a mix of all three, are typically ascribed to “flakiness,” which is defined as a practise of cancelling arrangements soon before they are about to begin.

How do you deal with someone who flakes often?

  • Recognize trends in their actions.
  • Don’t plan too far ahead of time. 
  • Confirm your intentions as soon as possible.
  • Make a plan to meet together on a regular basis.
  • Make it easy to get together.
  • Make new acquaintances.
  • share how you feel.

What is DPD disorder, and how does it affect you?

A sort of anxious personality disorder, dependent personality disorder (DPD) is a type of dependent personality disorder. People with DPD frequently feel weak, subservient, or incapable of self-care. They may struggle to make simple judgments. Someone with a dependent personality, on the other hand, may gain self-confidence and self-reliance with assistance.


Was this helpful?

Thanks for your feedback!