Are Enneagram 4s Manipulative?

This article will focus on the question of whether the type 4 enneagram is manipulative or not when it comes to their personality. The article will also highlight other personality traits of this enneagram as well as their fears and desires. Finally, the article will provide recommendations for this personality type to grow so they develop healthy traits.

Are Enneagram 4s Manipulative?

The enneagram type 4 is not manipulative when it comes to their personality. They have different ways of dealing with stressful situations or problems but they are generally not known to be manipulative. Rather, they tend to withdraw from their surroundings or social circles.

What the type 4 enneagram does with regards to others is blame others for the problems they face. They will accuse them of doing something to shift the blame to them or get angry at them. However, as the stress increases, they will become isolated and not respond to others or their attempts to pacify them. They will emotionally and mentally block out other people and become distant.

Other enneagrams, however, such as the type 8 enneagram, may resort to manipulative tactics to get what they want done or deal with stressful situations.

In this article, we will point out what unhealthy behaviours the type 4 enneagram engages in instead of manipulation. However, we will first introduce the type 4 enneagram in detail first.

Who Is A Type 4 Enneagram?

They are also known as the individualist because of their desire to be self-sufficient and do things on their own terms. Being dramatic innately, expressive and sensitive describes them very well. Such individuals are very honest, creative and remain reserved and personal however they do long to connect with others. What prevents this? Their fear of being vulnerable or abandoned hence they tend to keep a distance. 

Another highlighting feature of such personalities is that they dislike the ordinary lifestyles people have most probably because they feel they cannot achieve something like this in their life.

The type 4 enneagram does have a dark side to itself. These enneagrams can become very toxic to themselves if left alone for too long. They fear that they will never develop a self identity with which they can understand themselves. However, they always feel as if something is missing from their life which they can’t seem to pinpoint. The type 4 enneagram is brutally honest with himself or herself; they accept feelings, thoughts, pain and fear which they experience. Hence they are often more equipped to go through experiences others may break during.

When their fears become too much, they can adopt the path of self destruction and engage in habits of excessive alcohol consumption, drugs, reckless sexual behavior and in the worst cases suicide. 

The type 4 also experiences very negative thoughts. They become extremely pessimistic and torment themselves with their thoughts to the extent that they view themself with hatred and dissent. They will try to drive away anyone who tries to help them. 

Basic Fear.

Type 4 enneagrams are confused about who they really are or what beliefs and values define them. They fear not having an identity or self worth. They feel as though they are not benefitting society and have no place in it. Such individuals become a victim of self pity and self indulgence and want to stay inside their thoughts.

Basic Desire.

Their basic desire stems from their fear; they want to discover themself and hence possess an identity. They want to be known for who they are and be visible in the eyes of others so maybe they can connect with them and experience the life of the ordinary and live the dream they imagine.

Bad Traits – Types 4s

These enneagrams can become very toxic to themselves if left alone for too long. They fear that they will never develop a self identity with which they can understand themselves. However, they always feel as if something is missing from their life which they can’t seem to pinpoint. The type 4 enneagram is brutally honest with himself or herself; they accept feelings, thoughts, pain and fear which they experience. Hence they are often more equipped to go through experiences others may break during.

When their fears become too much, they can adopt the path of self destruction and engage in habits of excessive alcohol consumption, drugs, reckless sexual behavior and in the worst cases suicide. 

The type 4 also experiences very negative thoughts. They become extremely pessimistic and torment themselves with their thoughts to the extent that they view themself with hatred and dissent. They will try to drive away anyone who tries to help them. 

Even when they are not at their worst, these individuals have the habit of internalizing what they feel to the extent that they become self absorbed and detached from their surroundings. They begin to think they are different from others, perhaps a coping mechanism, and dislike the ordinary life they pursue such as having friends, getting married and having kinds and generally having hope from life and looking forward to important events.

How Can An Enneagram Type 4 Work On Self Improvement?

In this section, the article will comment on ways for the type 4 enneagram to improve their own self so they can avoid the bad traits that are affiliated with their personality.

Think Objectively.

It is important not to experience everything in terms of what one feels. Enneagram type 4s must realize that their feelings may deceive them at times so they must look at the real picture. If they feel extremely down they need to look at the achievements they have accomplished over time. If they feel too distant from others they must remind themselves that they possess similarities; other people also experience negative feelings but overcome them so they should too! If someone tries to help them then they should focus on their effort rather than their own feelings.

Stay In The Present.

Type 4 enneagrams have the habit of dwelling in the past. Why? Once they are in their dark phase, the past is what helps them reinforce the negative feelings that lead to self destruction. They focus on how people hurt them, what mistakes they made and how they let their own self down. They also tend to perceive present events in light of what has gone on before thus not giving people chances to help them because they already know what is going to happen. It is not their past that dictates their present but their persistence that what happened will happen again. This negative thought often leads them to behave in ways that reinforce past happenings.

Be Productive – It Helps Keep Focus.

The type 4 enneagram is surrounded by disturbing thoughts, feelings and negative views about oneself. This leads to low self esteem and a bad self image. How can they break out of this cycle and feel good about themselves? They must be productive and be useful to others. 

People with this personality type can lead a healthier lifestyle and set simple goals for themselves which may include healthier eating, more exercise, learning something new everyday and doing one thing daily that they like. This will not only prove to them that they can be productive but it will help them feel good about themselves.

Another way to feel productive and avoid the cycle of negative thoughts is to help others. It will bring an innate feeling of satisfaction and it will also help the individualist realize that not only do they suffer; there are people who are homeless, live alone, don’t have a job or sleep hungry every night!

Avoid Lengthy Conversations In Your Imagination.

Type 4 enneagrams have the habit of imagining themselves in a state of self pity and talking to others that may arouse feelings of disappointment, self hate and sadness. They need to think less about such things and focus on the present rather than the past. They must learn how to think about positive things. They can learn self help exercises such as writing 5 things they are thankful for every day to encourage good thoughts.

Conclusion

This article took a look at the type 4 enneagram and whether or not they are manipulative. The article also commented on other bad traits this enneagram has and how they can deal with them. Furthermore, the type 4 enneagram was introduced in detail to the audience.

References

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/signs-manipulation
https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-4
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