Are ENFJ jealous? (+3 main causes)

In this article, we will answer the following question: Are ENFJ jealous? We will discuss the ENFJs main characteristics and controlling nature. Finally, we will also explain what the causes of jealousy are, according to psychology.

Are ENFJ jealous?

Most ENFJ are not jealous, as in having a controlling behavior over their partners. However, their partner’s well-being will always be a priority for an ENFJ, and he wants to share EVERYTHING. Thus, the ENFJ can sometimes be perceived as clingy or jealous, but they are really not. 

On a more loving plane, they are affectionate and friendly and very detailed, but with the difference that they do not give as much importance to social clichés. They give their relationships, such as giving great importance to anniversaries or excessive dependence on their partner causing severe jealousy etc. 

These phenomena are not as assiduously seen in ENFJs since they are people with a mentality that has a period of reflection internally to investigate the future possibilities that may lie ahead. By then, they would already have a kind of idea planned just before that event took place.

ENFJs are people who fight conscientiously for the rights of minorities and lead those causes as leaders, so they can be linked more with liberal and progressive ideas rather than conservative ones.

ENFJ as lovers

In general, the ENFJ is intensely and enthusiastically involved in their relationships with their loved ones, doing everything possible to have a successful, happy relationship. Does this make them take control over how things happen? Maybe…!

Ultimately, ENFJ people look for intimate moments to show their love and care. They are generally interested in the happiness and satisfaction that their partner comes to have around them. Because their greatest satisfaction comes from making others happy, they can do very well when they love. 

Like other Judges, it is possible to follow a schedule for intimate moments, risking becoming routine. For ENTJ, the most important aspect of sexuality is the opportunity to show love and affection.

However, the ENFJ will not explicitly ask for such moments, they need sweet words and statements to encourage them. They are easy to satisfy and make happy, compared to other personality types, because their satisfaction comes from making others happy. But they must learn to balance this balance, to learn to verbalize their desires and to probe more into what they would like.

A serious problem for the ENFJ is that they hate everything that looks like a conflict. It is possible to give in in certain situations only in order not to face directly, in order not to reach conflict. But ignoring problems does not lead to solving them.

If you’re facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.

ENFJ: main characteristics

ENFJs base their decisions on their personal values. They use their Feeling essentially in the outside world, radiating for its heat and energy. They always look for the best of each one and they know how to find it. They like harmony and cooperation. 

They appreciate the approval of others, react with energy and devotion, and are particularly sensitive to criticism and stress. ENFJs tend to be warm, benevolent, encouraging, loyal, and trustworthy.

ENFJs know how to recognize the meaning and ties that exist between things and can be very insightful towards others. They are curious about new ideas and stimulated by the possibility of contributing to the good of humanity.

ENFJs are generally imaginative, creative, attracted by diversity and new challenges.

ENFJs have the gift of appreciating the development potential of others and dedicate their energy to helping them realize it. These are fine enablers. ENFJs are in charge of organizing relationships between colleagues, friends or family members, so that they all participate, so that harmony reigns and so that people have fun.

How others can perceive the ENFJ personality type

ENFJs are energetic, enthusiastic, and caring of others. Your sincere interest can often attract and even engage the most reserved people. They know how to listen and help, but nevertheless possess secure values, as well as opinions that are clear of them to which they know how to express clearly.

ENFJs draw their energy from their relationships with others and are very sociable; they have a great need for authentic and intimate relationships. They strive to create and maintain these with enthusiasm and depth.

ENFJs like their life to be organized and strive to clarify ambiguous relationships or situations. However, if people’s needs bother them in your organization, they put people first. ENFJs are generally perceived as sociable, charming, friendly, benevolent, expressive, sensitive, and persuasive.

Are ENFJs controlling?

Truth is, most ENFJs tend to control and manipulate others. This impulse to control is mostly seen in the parent-child relationship. It is usually not easy to be the child of an ENFJ. Because they are very focused on everything that means relationships, ENFJ will seriously monitor the smooth running of things in a family. They can become hyper-protective and dominant. 

They have well-defined ideas about what is good and what is bad. They need to remember to give their children more confidence and more autonomy to grow up healthy. It is not advisable to project their dreams, personal plans on children, influencing their future. An ENFJ must learn to keep these trends in balance.

ENFJ parents will provide their children with a warm, comfortable, and lively home. They will always be close to their children with a hug whenever they need it. Their attitude towards children will always be loyal, dignified, positive, and full of warmth, closeness.

As in all cases, the ENFJ type, as parents, will have problems with children when they reach puberty. Because they will need more space at this age, they will feel the suffocating protection of the ENFJ parent. 

Later, the children will also feel the manipulative tendency of the ENFJ parent and will ask him about his value system that seems hypocritical at times. For ENFJ parents, the best advice is this: try to control your tendency to manipulate and control your children because it will take them away from you.

Usually, the ENFJ has no other hidden motivations, as they are very well-intentioned about their children. In general, their children remember their parents as supportive, warm, affectionate, even if strict, which helped them achieve their goals in life.

Potential development zone for the ENFJ

If ENFJs cannot find a way to use their talents and be appreciated for their contribution, they are generally frustrated and may:

– Worry, feel guilty and do not trust themselves

– Be insistent and authoritarian in your desire for harmony

– Being overly sensitive to criticism, effective or imaginary

ENFJs may be less focused on their non-preferred functions, Thinking and Feeling. However, if they neglect these aspects too much, they may:

– They make decisions based solely on their personal values ​​while logic has also been necessary

– They had difficulties in assuming that disagreements or problems could arise with people who are expensive for them

– Negligent details necessary for the realization of their ideals

In particularly stressful periods, INFJs may suddenly become critical and investigate the minor flaws of others, in a way that they hardly seem to find. They generally hold these negative opinions themselves, but find these thoughts disturbing and uncomfortable.

Definition of jealousy according to psychology

Jealousy could be defined as an anxious emotional state that a person suffers and that is characterized by fear of the possibility of losing what one has, or possesses, or what is believed to be possessed as love, power, professional image or social …

In the sentimental sphere, the most marked feature of jealousy is the permanent distrust and/or suspicion in the other that stains, and seriously damages, the relationship with the loved one. Most of us understand by jealousy that confusing, paralyzing and obsessive feeling caused by the fear that the person we love prefers someone else instead of us.

They arise when a person believes that their relationship is being threatened. This threat can be real or imagined, and the response of the person who is jealous can be appropriate or inappropriate.

What is the cause of jealousy?

They usually appear due to fear of the possibility that our loved one prefers another instead of ourselves and abandons us. This emotion of jealousy can be increased if the person experiencing the jealousy considers that the interest and attention that is being given to another person should be for them.

Before continuing, it is important to highlight the difference between jealousy and envy, since in the latter the person desires what she does not have, and in jealousy one is afraid of losing what she already has.

In jealousy there are two main elements: possession and insecurity. The person who presents them is certain that her partner belongs to her, and the probability of losing that appreciated domain causes her such security and generates so much anguish that certain problems appear in her self-esteem and anxiety.

Three causes can be the main ones:

• Childhood experiences that the person who suffers them may have experienced. In this type of jealous reaction, the experiences acquired in the family or in close surroundings are fundamental. For example, if a person has witnessed jealous scenes with their parents, they are much more likely to be jealous than a person whose parents felt safe with each other.

• The sociocultural context and social environment of the person who is immersed and previous relationships. In this matter, certain experiences previously lived can be a great reason, since if the psychological consequences and fears are not well resolved, they continue to take their toll. 

For example, a person who has been betrayed in a previous relationship or by someone they trusted is more likely to develop a jealous personality.

• The type of relationship that is generated between a jealous person and her current partner and the continuation or not of the destructive patterns that cause and maintain jealousy.

Jealousy is an innate emotion that we have practiced since we were born, but “a spark” from the environment is essential for it to manifest.

The personality traits that the jealous person presents are:

• Insecurity and emotional dependence.
• Distrust of others.
• Low self-esteem. Feelings of insecurity easily lead them to believe that others are worth more than they
• Introversion and lack of social skills.

Final thoughts

While ENFJ may be perceived as controlling and jealous, sometimes, we need to remind you that this is most often because when they are in a relationship, ENFJ is committed 100%. For them, it is only fair to expect that from their partner, too. 

Ultimately, ENFJ people look for intimate moments to show their love and care. They are generally interested in the happiness and satisfaction that their partner comes to have around them. Because their most excellent satisfaction comes from making others happy, they can do very well when they love. 

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FAQ on Are ENFJ jealous?

References

Psychologytoday.com

Truity.com

Healthline.com