In this blog post, we will answer the following question: Are empaths real? We will answer the most common 7+ questions about empathy.
Are empaths real?
Yes, empaths are real. Empathy is the ability to understand and feel a person’s emotions and thoughts as if we were living them.
First of all, an empathetic person can easily identify the emotions of others and here I am obviously referring to latent emotions, which are not expressed. Anyone can get an idea of how a crying man feels, but few manage to identify the fact that a person suffers when that person does his best not to show it, hiding behind a mask. Empathetic people see beyond masks, easily.
But they do more than automatically identify how the people around them feel; they also have the ability to imagine exactly how that person should feel even if they have never been through exactly the same situation.
Empathy also helps people to read body language more easily or to see those sparkles in people’s eyes. Because of this understanding of human nature that they are capable of, empathetic people are usually sympathetic to those around them and show compassion.
In the same way people question if empaths are real, they also question if empaths are rare.
Let’s analyze in a little detail what empathy means.
Characteristics of empaths
- You listen actively, you can observe the non-verbal micro-signals of the body
- You are sensitive and understand the other’s perspective
- You reward and praise people, you give them feedback for improvement
- You are a mentor and coach for the development of others
- You look at people not as equals but as diverse – you develop opportunities depending on the different skills and qualities of people
- You understand group emotion and create value relationships
Let’s see what the benefits of empathy are.
Can anyone be empathetic?
The answer is… NO! To “see and feel” like other people we need a very strong reason to be able to imagine their past, experiences, and values.
In order to “appreciate others as human beings” (without negative judgment) we need self-control, not to jump to conclusions, to understand that their motivations are different from ours.
In order to “understand their feelings,” we need to have experienced at least something similar. It is very difficult or even impossible to understand how a depressed person feels – an extreme and unique feeling.
In order to “communicate understanding”, that we are with them and that we understand and feel what we are going through, we need both the rational and the emotional side.
A person who only feels emotions but cannot see through the person’s past cannot be a good empath. Likewise, a person who is too rational, who understands the person’s past and can provide feedback, but only “like a book”, standard, without bending on the person’s feelings, cannot be considered an effective empathy.
To be empathetic, we need both the emotional and the rational side.
Are women better empaths than men?
It is a question that many ladies would answer with “yes”. It is false. Both men and women have the ability to be empathetic from birth. There are real differences because as you read above, we need both the emotional and the rational side to be empathetic, and men, yes, tend to use the rational part more.
As long as mothers teach their children that “big boys don’t cry” they won’t be able to develop emotionally properly!
At what age do you become empathetic?
Some are empathetic from an early age, learning on their own. In some scenarios, parents have a psychological education and can help their little ones in their emotional development.
But look around, in society and on TV: how do you feel about our generations (and not only)? Do you think that they are people full of understanding, who help each other, or that they are full of fears and hatreds? That quarreling and screaming is the standard mode of communication?
Most people do not become empathetic even in old age. You are special then if you take the time and manage to develop this amazing ability to connect, to understand others, and ultimately, yourself.
How do you develop empathy?
The first thing we need to do is say, “I DON’T KNOW!”
Let us be aware that we do not understand the motivations of our partners/friends/children, let us look at each one as unique, not as an extension of us. This is the hardest thing to do in a country of experts and perfectionists: to admit that we DON’T KNOW – what others think, why they do the things they do. Only after we have done this can we come with open emotion and reason for listening without judgment.
Active listening: put your phone and worries aside, show your curiosity about what your person is telling you and don’t judge, don’t go through the “what would I do” filter in this situation
Common identity: think of the person as a unique individual, and then list the things you have in common with them
Get out of your head: the person’s story is about her, not about you. Imagine the world through her eyes
Do not jump to conclusions: do not give the verdict ahead of time. In fact, he doesn’t give a verdict. You are not here to judge the person but to feel and understand what he is experiencing
Watch movies: learn from quality movies how people express their feelings. Look for micro-gestures
Practice the “empathic reflex”: describe the emotions you think you feel in your partner/child and try to imagine what his or her motivations are.
Practice meditation: there is no better exercise to free your mind from preconceptions, to be able to see clearly your emotions and those of others, than meditation.
What are some benefits of being empathic?
Empathy helps you not to be afraid of strangers. Do you know what my mother said “don’t talk to strangers”? Well, she was terribly wrong. If you don’t want a lonely life where everyone seems against you.
Empathy helps you understand that each person has a lot in common with you, that we largely pursue the same goals, and that we are actually genetically programmed to care for some. by others, to help ourselves. But it’s up to you to take the first step!
If you take the first step in listening to those around you, they will feel and understand your desire to connect and will do the same. Both she and you will be able to create a communication channel without negative judgment. You will thus enter their intimate universe, and so will they.
By empathy you mean the interests of groups, not just individuals. You can thus take an attitude and inspire massive social (or family) movement. Think of Martin Luther King, who managed to change American history!
A family that lacks empathy is a lifelong abuse.
The parent who does not understand the passage of time, who makes fun of his children about the music he listens to, the clothes he wears, who forces his children to have the maximum grade in all subjects in a system where education is down and not it brings almost nothing useful in the child’s life.
It is the pattern of an authoritarian, perfectionist parent who is not on the same wavelength as the child and his personality. The consequences are a child who develops badly, in fear and hatred of the parent and education, shy or excessive, who will seek love in all sorts of other contexts.
Are there negative sides of empathy?
Yes, unfortunately, there are such parts. It is also the main reason why I chose to write about empathy. People imagine that everything is pink, that empathetic people benefit from some bonuses that others do not have, which is false. The good parts of empathy come with other, less good ones.
Empathetic people are generally people who think a lot, who like to solve problems, and generally go by the idea that where the problem arose is the answer, the solution to that problem. There are those who do not fall asleep at night until they find the answer to a question that grinds them. And many times, the problems they think about are not even theirs.
In addition, to burn at such an intensity that you empathize with another person, to continually overcome yourself by trying to transpose yourself into that state, and then to make an effort to find a solution to alleviate the other’s suffering. , it’s much more complicated than it sounds and unlikely to happen without a trace.
Empaths are consumed faster than ordinary people and often function as a sponge: they absorb from the emotions of others what helps them to understand and put themselves in the place of those people but, when the interaction is over, instead of giving up everything they have absorbed, they retain in them a part of those emotions.
Empaths are real, they do exist. Empathy means looking through the person’s universe, appreciating it without judging it, feeling its feelings, and communicating understanding. It is as difficult as it is satisfying, it is the basis of all successful relationships.
Most importantly, empathy can be learned! Through exercise and meditation, your life can turn from fear and paranoia into a warm world, where you surround yourself with people who really care about you, with whom you build deep relationships that last a lifetime. A rich life!
Empaths are people who take time out of the hustle and bustle of the day, who dedicate their lives to their loved ones. Because they make this difficult and special, they deserve it and will have a special life.
If you have any questions or comments on the content, please let us know!
FAQ on Are empaths real?
Is an empath a real thing?
Yes, an empath is a real thing, it does exist. An empathetic person can easily identify the emotions of others and here I am obviously referring to latent emotions, which are not expressed. Anyone can get an idea of how a crying man feels, but few manage to identify the fact that a person suffers when that person does his best not to show it, hiding behind a mask.
Is being an empath a personality disorder?
No, being an empath is not a personality disorder. In fact, empathy is an advantage, as it helps to have better relationships and connect with others.
Can Empaths be toxic?
Empaths are not toxic to other people, but being an empath can have its drawbacks. Most people do not realize, but Empaths are consumed faster than ordinary people and often function as a sponge: they absorb from the emotions of others what helps them to understand and put themselves in the place of those people but, when the interaction is over.
What is an extreme empath?
An extreme empath is someone who can feel other people’s emotions in their own body. As they were their own.
Are Empaths narcissists?
No, empaths are not narcissists, quite the opposite. Narcissists do not have empathy, nor do they care about other people’s wellbeing – only of theirs.