Are all INFPs shy? (what makes them unique)

In this article, we will answer the following questions: Are all INFPs shy, and what makes them so unique? We talk about the strengths and weaknesses of an INFP and how shy he is in his personal relationships. 

Are all INFPs shy?

Not all INFPs are necessarily shy, but they are introverts! INFP people are calm, pleasant, quiet, simple, especially in the eyes of others. Instead inside them, they feel life very intensely. In the relational field, they are capable of a great power to love, to take care of the other, qualities that, at this intensity, are not so easy to find in other personality types. 

They do not show the intensity of everyone’s feelings, generally being very reserved in expressing their inner feelings. They keep their deepest care and love for a few people who are very close. Being Intuitive Affects, they are very sensitive and people feel very well. 

INFP have a harder time trusting others and are cautious at the beginning of every relationship, but they will be very loyal once they make a commitment to someone. They value authenticity in relationships and have a strong value system that will defend them regardless of the person, a situation in which, as gentle as they seem, they can become as harsh.

INFP – Strengths

  • Sincerely interested and worried about others
  • Perceptual towards the feelings of others
  • Loyal and involved, engaged in relationships for life
  • Great ability to love and take care of someone
  • Motivate yourself to meet the needs of others
  • They like win-win situations when a conflict arises
  • They know how to encourage and support others
  • It is possible to realize the need of others for space, for independence
  • Able to communicate themselves very well
  • Flexible and different.

INFP – Weaknesses

  • They tend to be shy and reserved
  • They don’t like to be invaded
  • They don’t like conflict at all
  • They don’t like criticism
  • Great need to receive praise and appreciation
  • They can react very emotionally in stressful situations
  • They have difficulty leaving a bad relationship
  • They have difficulty being assertive or punishing others
  • They are reserved when it comes to talking about their feelings
  • The tendency towards perfectionism can lead them to not give enough credit, not to trust themselves.
  • The tendency to blame themselves for problems and take everything on their shoulders.

Are INFPs shy as lovers?

INFPs can be quite shy when they do not know you. However, once in a relationship,  INFP people are very loyal and involved, devoted to their partner. Having the Affective part centrally, harmony is the one sought in relationships by such people. They need to be in a very devoted, authentic relationship, and if they don’t have such a relationship yet, they are either looking for it or building an imaginary one in their mind.

INFPs tend to be idealistic and romantic, dressing the personality of the loved one with more beautiful characteristics than they would have. That is why it is difficult for him to reconcile the idealistic world with the real one, the romantic vision of life with what is in reality. So many times we find them anxious, unreconciled with their relationship. 

However, due to their deep devotion and sincere love, they do not leave their relationships, much to their displeasure. Despite their disorders, they find their inner peace in devotion.

What is very nice about INFPs’ personality is their struggle to keep their partner up on a pedestal, not being discouraged by some inconsistencies with reality. They continue to beautify the image of the loved one, and the result is a relationship that passes the test of time.

INFPs are not naturally interested in administrative issues such as paying bills and cleaning, but they are very good at doing these things when they need to. When they get involved, they can be good money stewards.

Intimately, INFPs are slower to open up to their partner. But, once the trust grows, they will see the intimate moments as an opportunity to show their love, their affection. They value attitude, words more than the intimate act itself. Having a tendency to put others above personal desires, they will pursue the satisfaction of their partners first.

A real problem that INFP people have is the strong disapproval of conflict and criticism. They are quick to take everything personally, regardless of the other’s intention. They become irrational and very emotionally involved in such situations where any criticism is considered to be against them. 

There can be problems when their partners are dominant Thinkers or Judges. INFPs feel threatened by the attitude of those who use logic, argumentation, and tend to respond emotionally and negatively.

Those INFPs who have a very well-developed affective side should develop their intuitive side as well in order to be able to make decisions and collect data about what is happening to them. Their revulsion at criticism and conflict can lead to the loss of relationships. INFP reacts with a lot of stress and emotional disturbance in conflict situations. Since they do not have a solid database to know what they want to take, they will do anything to avoid conflicts, often appearing as irrational in front of others. They must learn to take criticism more objectively. He must also remember that conflict situations are events that are part of the normality of life and, above all, that they are not always because of them and that they are not the end of the world. Any problem avoided will not be solved, it will become even bigger.

INFPs are very aware of their space and the space that belongs to others. I place great value on the intimacy of the space and the things it possesses. This will also help the partner because INFP will respect them for what they are, will respect their unique style, without being intrusive, to “rush”. They are not extremely jealous or possessive, they like to respect the need for independence of the other. They will encourage their partners in their personal plans.

In general, INFP’s are warm, positive, loving, partners who will do everything to make the relationship healthy and long-lasting. The most suitable partners for them are those who have a dominant Extroverted Affectivity. So, the partners with more chances of success will be the ENFJ or ESFJ.

How are INFPs as parents?

 INFPs are “natural” parents. They gladly accept the role of parent, seeing it as a natural extension of their value system. They believe it is their duty to pass on their children’s values ​​and experiences. They take their role as parents quite seriously. They are warm, positive, flexible, often a parent not so severe.

Because INFP disapproves of the conflict, it will do everything possible to create a positive, flexible atmosphere in their home. They do not practice the sanction or discipline of children and that is why it is possible for their partners to trust this aspect. In the absence of the partner, the INFP must make an effort to create a structure, rules in raising their child.

However, having a strong value system, INFP people will immediately notice when children have done something wrong and then they will have no problem showing their anger at the violation of certain principles.

They will value their child more as an individual and will give him the opportunity to express himself in the family. It will allow her intimacy to grow and develop her personality.

INFP is a very loving and devoted parent. They will protect and encourage their children. If a situation arises such as “whose side to be on”, they will support their children loyally. Children remember INFP parents as a patient, flexible, devoted, and loving.

How are INFPs as friends?

INFPs are people who value authenticity in interpersonal relationships. They are usually very perceptive about the feelings and motives of others. They keep their true feelings hidden, especially if they do not fully trust those around them. Having a very strong value system, it is possible to get along better with Intuitive Affects as they are.

With their strong need for harmony, they will not be able to make good friends with Thinkers and Judges, as personality types. They feel threatened by logic and argument. Professionally they can work with all personality types, but at the level of interpersonal relationships, they will be reserved for certain types of people. They generally have an affinity for affective personality types.

INFP will be appreciated by others because they are reliable friends, altruistic, deep, supportive, original.

Final thoughts

INFPs tend to be idealistic and romantic, dressing the personality of the loved one with more beautiful characteristics than they would have. That is why it is difficult for him to reconcile the idealistic world with the real one, the romantic vision of life with what is in reality. So many times we find them anxious, not reconciled with their relationship. 

However, due to their deep devotion and sincere love, they do not leave their relationships, much displeasing their conflict. Despite their disorders, they find their inner peace in devotion.

What is very nice about INFPs personality is their struggle to keep their partner up on a pedestal, not being discouraged by some inconsistencies with reality. They continue to beautify the image of the loved one, and the result is a relationship that passes the test of time.

INFP people are very loyal and involved, devoted to the relationship. Having the Affective part centrally, harmony is the one sought in relationships by such people. They need to be in a very devoted, authentic relationship, and if they don’t have such a relationship yet, they are either looking for it or building an imaginary one in their mind.

Some INFPs tend to be perceived as shy, but that is before you give them a chance and get to know them!

Do you agree with us? Please do not hesitate to get in contact if you have any questions. 

FAQ on Are all INFPs shy?

Why are INFPs so shy?

INFPs are often shy because they are highly sensitive and because they need more time to process what they are going to say in a conversation. Generally, INFPs do not like small talk or superficial discussions. 

Can INFPs be outgoing?

Yes, INFPs can also be outgoing. Contrary to popular belief, INFPs do like to spend time with people, as long they choose with whom… 

Can INFPs be mean?

INFPs can be quite mean when their personal beliefs are attacked. They can also be rude and sarcastic if they don’t like you. 

Why are INFPs so weird?

INFPs are not weird, but they have their own way of thinking and doing things. Sometimes they may seem strange to others because they spend a lot of time in their imagination and often seem absent from conversations.

Are INFPs loners?

INFPs are not loners, but it is true that they are picky when choosing their friends. They do best on their own, that is true. 

Are INFPs intelligent?

Most INFPs are quite intelligent, but many people do not give them enough credit. That is simply because INFPs have a different kind of intelligence, choosing to focus on what inspires them, and not on general information

 

References

Mba-institute.org

16personalities.com

thecareerproject.org/blog

Divya is currently a Clinical Psychology Trainee in a Master of Philosophy program and holds a Master’s in clinical psychology. She has a special interest in Personality studies and disorders, having researched the subject before, and Neuropsychology; with an additional interest being Mood disorders. She likes to write about Psychiatric issues, having worked in multiple specialty setups during her time as a clinical psychology student, and in her free time she likes to cook and read.