In this blog post, we will answer the following question: Are 4s and 7s compatible? We will talk about what can go wrong in this couple, but also how Enneagram types 4 and 7 can complete each other.
Are 4s and 7s compatible?
Most will say that 4s and 7s are not compatible. However, Enneagram Fours and Sevens tend to be intrigued by each other, as they are generally a case of the attraction of opposites.
Fours tend to be quiet, introverted, self-doubtful, emotional, and pessimistic, while Sevens tend to be outgoing, self-assured, mental, and optimistic. Sevens help Fours overcome shyness and a possible reluctance to try new experiences.
Fours help Seven to focus on what they really want, and to respect and allow their feelings. Four and Seven bring to their relationship the burden and mystery of their differences – that they think so differently, react so differently, and find pleasure in so many different ways.
Therefore, they can be intrigued by the other, finding him infinitely fascinating, always ready for something new and unexpected. Both the Four and the Seven bring a capacity for joy and ecstasy, spontaneity, excitement, and passion. Both Four and Seven love lively conversations and can spend hours sharing detailed accounts of the day’s events with each other, as well as their thoughts and reactions.
Both Four and Seven love the finer things in life – travel, good food, wine, clothing, and furniture – and, for better or worse, both can tend to overspend their income on what they consider to be necessities of life: caviar, champagne and another trip to Europe.
They both have a love for the new and a sense of adventure and romance that can keep their relationship fresh and lively for themselves and be a source of joy and inspiration for others.
Both types can be funny, irreverent, and entertaining. There is also an earthy and obscene character in both, as well as, paradoxically, sophistication and elitism. Being opposites, Four and Seven can balance each other: Four brings a sense of depth and interiority, while Seven brings a sense of fun and emotional resilience.
Why Type Four (the Individualist) with Type Seven (the Enthusiast) May Not Work
Because they are so different in so many ways, Four and Seven must have several strong points of attraction, or else they are likely to lose connection with each other. Unless some strong passion (romantic, mental, or spiritual) keeps them together, they are likely to break up if there is some deep disagreement or conflict early in the relationship.
Both types tend to be impulsive and easily frustrated with others when they feel disappointed or if their life circumstances are not going as they expect. They both have high expectations for the kind of attention and quality of interactions they want from others, and if they are not communicative, they both tend not to give others too many second chances to prove themselves.
While the Fours may secretly admire and even envy the stamina and high energy of the Seven, they may also find themselves worn down by their fast-paced lives and what the Fours feel to be the relentless plans and activities of the Seven. Four may view Seven as too loud, shallow and insensitive, and occasionally rude and insulting without realizing it.
On the other hand, Sevens may admire and try to imitate the artistic style, creativity, and appreciation of the subtlety and beauty of the Fours. But Sevens may also view Fours as hypersensitive, ineffective, impractical, moody, and self-absorbed.
Also, if the relationship worsens, the Fours become more reserved and hostile, attacking the other from a safe distance. Sevens become more impatient, abrasive, and can be verbally abusive. Four may want to talk about everything that has gone wrong in the relationship with Seven in great detail.
On the contrary, the Seven usually wants to move on to something more promising and optimistic. The result is that the underlying problems are not adequately resolved. Once this relationship takes hold, virtually everything that each of you admired and were attracted to in the other becomes irritating and insufferable.
If you’re facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.
Enneagram type 4
People corresponding to the enneatype 4 personality pattern tend to have a bad image of themselves. Although they are successful in life and may come to feel superior to others, there is always a feeling of lack. A feeling of being a surrogate member of the “true aristocracy,” with deep feelings of shame and fears of being somehow deeply flawed.
Enneatype 4 people tend to build their identities around the idea of being somewhat different or unique people. They tend to see their difference from others as a gift and a curse. A gift, since it differentiates them from the others whom they perceive as “ordinary” and a curse since it often distances them from enjoying happiness in a simple way.
Enneatype 4s are emotionally complex and highly sensitive. They yearn to be understood and appreciated for their authentic self, but they feel easily misunderstood and unappreciated. They have a tendency to suffer from a bit of a bad mood. They spend much of their lives immersed in their inner mental landscapes, where they feel free to cultivate and analyze their feelings.
By having a desire to manifest this inner world, type 4’s tend to have an interest in the arts and some become actual artists. Whether artistic or not, however, most type 4’s are aesthetically sensitive and preoccupied with self-expression and self-disclosure, whether in the clothes they wear, or the general nature of their lifestyle.
Enneatype 4s are somewhat melancholic and under stress, they tend to fall into depression. When out of balance, they easily give way to the complacency that they perceive as fully justified to compensate for the general lack of pleasure they experience in their lives. Rather than seeking practical solutions to their difficulties, type 4s are prone to fantasize about a savior rescuing them from their unhappiness.
Enneagram type 7
Optimistic and adventurous. They are productive, versatile, spontaneous optimists, playful, spirited, and practical people; They could also be over-encompassing, disorganized, and undisciplined. They are constantly looking for new and stimulating experiences, but continued activity makes them stunned and exhausted.
They usually have problems with superficiality and impulsiveness. At their best, healthy Sevens focus their gifts on worthy goals, they are cheerful, highly capable, and highly appreciative.
People with this personality trait make their life passionate and exciting. Her desire is to have new and different experiences. They tend to think that in the future they will have better experiences than in the present, which leads them to plan a large part of their time on what they can do. They think fast, have a lot of energy, are planners, outgoing, talented, creative, and open-minded.
They are practical, they tend to have an entrepreneurial spirit, they are enthusiastic. They tend to be optimistic, outgoing, dreamer, they see a life full of opportunities, their thoughts are positive and joyful, they find it difficult to look at the negative aspects of life, they flee from pain.
They are dreamers and have the belief that something better awaits them in the future, making it difficult for them to constantly work to achieve what they plan. They compulsively seek pleasure as an escape mechanism from their daily problems. They tend to avoid the emotions that cause them discomfort with external situations that generate well-being.
They are people who tend to focus on their strengths and minimize their flaws. they are permissive to themselves about pleasures without feeling guilty.
The Enneagram model
The Enneagram model is a psychodynamic model that is based on nine typologies (enneatypes). The current approach used was developed in principle by Oscar Ichazo around the 1960s and spread by Claudio Naranjo in the 1970s.
It is noteworthy that human society can benefit from knowing the typology of people who are involved in various activities, which is the purpose of these reports that will be further presented.
I don’t think it’s a surprise to find that in today’s digital society, people’s personal data can be easily used in complex analysis that uses the specificity of certain typologies, suggesting in these cases actions that may appear inconsistent and detached with unexpected results.
Although not associated with any religion, one of the primary uses of the Enneagram is as a transformative tool that helps us realize our essential nature (divine nature or being) and integrate our personality.
Basic personality type
The enneagram represents a set of 9 distinct personality types, each of which is represented by a number. It is common for a person to find himself in each of these types, but only one will predominate – this is the basic type. Each of us is born with a personality dominated by one of these types, and innate temperament and other prenatal factors are the main determinants of personality.
Tangential personality type
The basic personality type can undergo slight changes, following the influences exerted by the two adjacent personality types – tangential on the enneagram. These are also called `wings`. Tangential types add new, sometimes contradictory elements to the basic type. The `wing` is the second side of the coin and must be considered to better understand a person.
For example, a person with basic personality 9 has a `wing` either type 1, type 8, or both. These tangential personalities influence but do not change their basic personality.
If you want to take the Enneagram personality test, click here.
Conclusions
Overall, we think that 4s and 7s are compatible and make a good team. Enneagram 4 and 7 have a love for the new and a sense of adventure and romance that can keep their relationship fresh and lively for themselves and be a source of joy and inspiration for others.
Both types can be funny, irreverent, and entertaining. There is also an earthy and obscene character in both, as well as, paradoxically, sophistication and elitism. Being opposites, Four and Seven can balance each other: Four brings a sense of depth and interiority, while Seven brings a sense of fun and emotional resilience.
Do you agree with us? Do not hesitate to leave a comment below!
FAQ on Are 4s and 7s compatible?
Who are Enneagram 4s most compatible with?
Enneagram 4s are most compatible with Enneagram 2 (the Helper). People of type two are interested in what they consider to be the most extraordinary thing – love, closeness, generosity, family, and friendship.
How do you get along with Enneagram 7?
To get along with Enneagram 7 you have to create a rapport, appreciate their initiative and efforts. Try to avoid being too negative or to correct their way of doing things.
What do Enneagram 4s need?
Enneagram 4s need to feel appreciated and valued for what they are. 4s are creative, inner artists that long to be recognized by others.
Which Enneagram type is the rarest?
The rarest Enneagram type is type 4, or the Individualist. Enneatype 4s are emotionally complex and highly sensitive. They yearn to be understood and appreciated for their authentic self, but they feel easily misunderstood and unappreciated. They have a tendency to suffer from a bit of a bad mood.
What was Jesus on the Enneagram?
On the Enneagram, it is believed that Jesus was a personality type number 9, because of his patience and kindness.
References
Kale, S.H. and Shrivastava, S. (2003), “The enneagram system for enhancing workplace spirituality”, Journal of Management Development, Vol. 22 No. 4, pp. 308-328.
Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery, by Don Richard Riso, Russ Hudson
Understanding the Enneagram: The Practical Guide to Personality Types, by Don Richard Riso, Russ Hudson