Am I Straight? (Figuring it out)
By
PsychReel
In this brief guide, we will discuss some aspects of sexuality, starting with the question “Am I Straight?”, and moving on to questions like a Scenario quiz for “Am I Straight” and other hurdles and confusing things about figuring out your sexual orientation.
“Am I Straight?”
You might be straight if you are mostly or only attracted to people of the other gender, and if you don’t find yourself desiring people of your own gender, you are straight.
Here are some questions you may need to answer if you are wondering about whether you are straight, gay, asexual or bisexual:
What is the gender of your current crush?
Consider this scenario: You want to have sex, which gender do you seek out intentionally?
When you have non-sexual romantic fantasies, what gender do they usually center around?
What gender do your sexual fantasies usually center around?
Which gender do you mostly tend to form stronger emotional bonds with?
Have you ever mistaken a crush on a woman/girl for hero-worshipping?
If an attractive person from any sex approached you at a bar, which person would you rather talk to?
What age did you start questioning your sexual orientation at?
Have you ever kissed someone of the opposite sex?
Have you ever been physically intimate with someone of the opposite sex?
Have you ever been physically intimate with someone of the same sex?
Have you ever been attracted to both sexes, but felt a stronger attachment towards one in particular? If yes, what sex?
Have you ever, or would you want to, date a transgendered person?
Would you date an androgynous or gender fluid individual?
Would you date an intersex identifying person?
Is sex an important part of a relationship to you?
Which gender do you find it most comfortable dating and sleeping with?
The answer to these questions will tell you what your sexuality is; if you find that you answered most of these questions in favor of wanting to be with your own gender, you may be gay or bisexual, if you answered them in favor of wanting to be with the other gender, you are straight, and if you answered them with feelings of not being interested in sex at all, you may be asexual.
Sexual Orientations
To know if you are gay or straight, you need to first be aware of what sexual orientations are there, and which one you relate to most.
Straight: People who are attracted to the opposite gender.
Gay: Men who are Attracted to other men
Lesbian: Woman who is attracted to other women
Bisexual: People who are equally attracted to both genders.
Pansexual: People who are attracted to everyone.
Asexual: People who are not interested in having sex (But may still be attracted to people)
Kinsey et al., who created the first clinical homosexual-heterosexual scale, said this about sexuality, which more people need to believe, although they only said it about men:
“Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats. Not all things are black nor all things white… The living world is a continuum in each one of its aspects. The sooner we learn this concerning human sexual behavior, the sooner we shall reach a sound understanding of the realities of sex.”
“Am I Straight?”: Reddit Insights
Given below are some users from Reddit speaking out about their conundrum and perspectives related to sexuality:
“No matter your ratio your bisexuality is still valid. As long as you want a relationship or sex with both genders you’re bisexual”
You’re still Bi if you like ’em both, it doesn’t matter if you like one more than the other. That’s just preferences.
“Being bisexual isn’t about being attracted to men and women the same amount. It’s about being attracted to men and women, no matter how strong your preference towards one gender may be.”
“I am a girl and I have been questioning my sexuality for about 6 months now, but I am starting to think that maybe I’m just straight. But if I have pretty much only liked guys my whole life and only really have had 1 or 2 situations where I genuinely was interested in a girl does that mean I’m just straight and it was just once off thing, cause this year especially I’ve tried to in some ways tell myself that I might have a crush on a girl and try to convince myself that it’s true. But so far I haven’t really felt anything for any of them.
I might just be overthinking this though just might have a much stronger preference for men rather than women?”
“Labels are unnecessary anyway, but if u feel more uncomfy under one just say you’re bi. one crush on a woman is still attraction”
“There’s nothing wrong with being questioning, and you don’t need to convince yourself of anything. You’re fine how you are! I’d just give it more time, because 6 months is not very long when you’re trying to figure out your sexuality.”
“I mean… girls are still cute, right. And I find some girls cuter than some guys. And having a preference in terms of intensity tends to indicate that someone’s sexuality isn’t stable. This means that I am statistically more likely to be straight. And if I’m straight, it means I’m faking it for attention, and this literal gay indecent content I’m watching is just to make me feel more bi even when I really know I’m a straight pretender.”
“You may be straight/bi, there are subcultures of LGBT but lots of people don’t agree with them because they say that it’s just a straight person trying to be special (homo flexible and hetero flexible), I agree”
“As in, you don’t find men intimately appealing only romantically? Or you like men romantically and intimately, but only find women intimately appealing and not romantically??
If you meant you find men only romantically attractive and women only intimately it would be heterosexual/homo romantic. If you meant you like men romantically and intimately but only like women intimately then it would be bisexual/homo romantic.”
“Hi, I’m young I guess (girl here) and getting frustrated with not having a label. For the most part, I’m straight but that label just doesn’t feel right at all; even though I’ve basically only had crushes on guys. But it’s hard imagining a relationship with one. I can imagine bits of one, but I’m mostly never in the picture, just the guy? Most WLM couples are just weird to me? I can’t stand the idea of marriage and kids. Not to mention I never really feel comfy around guys; they’re so foreign to me. Maybe this is like a normal teenage thing. Imagining a relationship with a girl is okay but also strange. Can’t tell what’s a crush on a girl or what’s not. UGH. blegh.”
“Probably straight, just from context.
But that is something only you can figure out.
Just know that there is a difference between being attracted and finding someone attractive.
You can appreciate one’s beauty or “their attractiveness” and not be attracted to them.
Appreciating someone’s beauty or finding them attractive has nothing to do with orientation.”
“You could also be ace or aro. To be honest, I don’t think you need to pressure yourself to find your label. You could just go on with your life until you (if you) find someone that you want to be in a relationship with. But if you really do want to know more, you could also research the different sexual orientations out there. There’s a lot of them like demisexual which falls under asexual. Maybe there’s a label out there that does fit your situation or maybe you’re still exploring. Good luck and I hope you will find out someday.”
Conclusion
In this brief guide, we discussed some aspects of sexuality, starting with the question “Am I Straight?”, and moving on to questions like a Scenario quiz for “Am I Straight”, and other hurdles and confusing things about figuring out your sexual orientation.
Sexual orientation can be a difficult thing to figure out, especially if you find yourself in a place where you may not be accepted for who you are, which is true in a lot of places, sadly.
The least you should be able to do is determine whether you are straight, gay, bisexual, pansexual, asexual or Demisexual, or if you even have a label, because that is okay and valid too.
Many people don’t define their sexual orientation at all, and this is not new either, many cultures across time have had a concept of sex that involves being with whomever you want without paying much attention to what their gender is and so on.
The fact is, as long as there is consent and complete awareness between all the parties involved, questions like “Am I Straight?” or “Am I gay” does not matter, what matters is the bond you are making and the pleasure you feel.
If you have any questions like “Am I Straight?” or other concepts related to sexual orientation, please feel free to reach out to us without hesitation.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs): Am I Straight?
What causes a Person To Have a Particular Sexual Orientation?
Most psychologists believe that a complex interaction of environmental, cognitive and biological factors causes a person to have a particular sexual orientation, and some even consider that it is an evolutionary change or growth to make for a more dynamic society.
Biology may play the most significant role as a potential cause of a particular sexual orientation, because attraction is decided by the neurochemical changes in the brain.
It’s important to recognize that there are probably many reasons for a person’s sexual orientation, and the reasons may be different for different people.
Is Sexual Orientation a Choice?
No, sexual orientation is not a choice, it is an innate leaning of the individual towards who they are attracted to, and no one can choose to be gay or straight.
Can Therapy Change Sexual Orientation?
No, therapy cannot change sexual orientation because it is not a mental illness or a behavioral problem, it is an innate feeling that does not happen with learning or other factors that are subject to change.
Because of the stigma in society many individuals who are homosexual or bisexual may seek therapy, or may be pushed into it against their will, to change their sexual orientation or make them straight, but the since there is nothing to change because nothing is wrong there, therapy does not work.
Citations
https://time.com/5026092/mostly-straight-sexual-identity-bisexual-gay/
https://www.healthline.com/health/different-types-of-sexuality#why-it-matters
