8w9 & 4w5: Enneagram Relationships (A Complete Guide)

This article will explore whether or not the two enneagram types – the 8w9 and the 4w5 – are good for each other. It will comment on how they complement each other and what traits may turn out to be hurdles in their life with each other. Furthemore, the article will also introduce the two enneagrams to the readers so they develop a deeper understanding of the topic in discussion.

8w9 & 4w5 Relationships: Are They Good Partners?

The 8w9 and 4w5 enneagrams make good partners because of how well they complement each other as well as how similar some of their traits are. Both enneagrams are emotionally responsive although the 8w9 enneagram may not be as much as the 4w5 is. However, they are both intense and passionate in how they feel for each other and have much energy inside of them.

The two enneagram types are also quite knowledgeable where the type 4 is considered to be emotionally dominant – they are self aware and have a grip on the knowledge they possess and can make much sense out of it. The type 8 enneagram, on the other hand, is socially dominant, hence they are better able to process the external factors or proceedings going on in the world. Together they can even make a great power couple. 

As both enneagrams possess much energy and passion in them, they can sometimes become impulsive and careless with their love which adds to the interest and excitement because of the uncertainty and strong emotions it evokes. However, their love and longing for each other draws them back sooner or later.

Check How Do Enneagram 8s Show Love?

Sometimes the 8w9 enneagram may become detached while the 4w5 type may solely focus on their own needs. Such instances can damage the relationship they have thus it is imperative one breaks the cycle and reaches out to the other before it is too late. Nonetheless, the relationship between the two enneagrams is quite dynamic and something is always going on – they remain unbored of each other and have a strong belief that they can match each other’s passion and keep their partner interested in them – a sort of confidence they draw from each other.

In this article, we will introduce the two enneagram types and also comment on how they behave in relationships generally as well as what fears or desires motivate them.

Enneagram 8w9: The Diplomat

This enneagram type is confident and patient but at the same time protective and will strike if required. However, compared to type 8 enneagrams, they are more gentle and easy going. They prefer to remain calm and stress free when it comes to tasks that are due or responsibilities that they have – it is better to remain calm rather than fret about what one needs to do!

At the same time, these enneagrams enjoy the independence they have and dislike taking orders from other people, especially authority figures. They want to do things their own way in a manner that is easy and comfortable for them. It’s my way or the highway for them! Whether its work, school or any program they are enrolled in, they want to be able to have the liberty of engaging in self paced courses that allow them a great deal of flexibility; they appreciate programs or systems where they are given the end goal and given the freedom to pursue it in a manner that is acceptable to them.

However, this type of enneagram also has issues related to their emotions – especially the regulation of emotions. They do not feel very comfortable expressing their emotions to others possibly because of the fear they have – they do not want to be controlled or manipulated by others. Hence, they will not always express how they feel about someone or something and keep this to themself.

The 4w5 Enneagram: The Free Spirit

This enneagram type is a combination of traits mostly from the enneagram 4 with some traits from the enneagram type 5 as well. Compared to most enneagram type 4’s, this one is not very concerned with their public image and hence do not worry too much about how others will think of them. Furthermore, the type 4 enneagram is more into developing a deeper understanding of themselves and the world around them.

To develop a deeper understanding of things, the type 4w5 enneagram tends to engage in behaviours like introspection, imagination and deep thinking. They are also very creative as a result and like to focus on their perception of their environment. This enneagram type is driven by a deeper desire to truly understand the world and how it operates. The main purpose behind this is that they want to develop themselves in such a way that they can affect the world profoundly and also develop a self identity; it is important to develop the self keeping in mind the type of place they live in.

By engaging in such behaviours, the type 4w5 enneagram may seem distant at times; others may think they do not want to talk or interact, however in reality they are just too busy thinking about themselves and the world they live in. This might be one reason why people may think they are not too approachable or friendly!

Their ability to spend much time in their mind and the creative thinking style they have allows them to solve problems in a unique and beneficial manner. They are also very much thirsty for knowledge and have an urge to learn more and more about things. Hence, they are smart individuals who keep growing day by day with the knowledge they gain!

Relationships For 8w9s & 4w5s

The 4w5 enneagram does well when it comes to relationships. This is because they are able to connect with their significant partner in a deep and meaningful manner. They are also true to themselves and others and this prevents any misconceptions from entering into the relationship. They are committed and put in the time and effort to make things work.

These enneagram types are very protective of their partners. They do not want them to be hurt in any way and hence try to not only fulfill their needs but ensure no one or anything harms them. The type 8w9 enneagram is one that understands the differences. They wont go on a rant on how stupid a particular culture or belief system is nor will they throw much questions at a person who chooses a certain profession, degree or any type of choice for that case just because they don’t agree with it. Rather they will try to understand why things are that way and how they can be more accepting of it.

Fears & Desires

Apart from having enough knowledge and wanting to impact the world in a positive manner, the enneagram type 4w5 wants to be able to develop their own personal identity in the entire process. They want to be known as someone who is unique and not just like others.

The type 4w5 enneagram also has their fears! The biggest fear they have – apart from not having enough knowledge – is to not be able to impact the world they live in. They want to be able to make a difference using the knowledge and skills they have and benefit people in such a manner that they are remembered or leave behind a legacy.

The basic fear of the type 8w9 enneagram – which extends to women as well – is to be hurt by others. Hence, they like to avoid situations where they are not in control and are at more risk of being let down by others, manipulated or deceived or emotionally damaged. They like to occupy leadership positions that not only gives them the leverage they need but it sends a message to others to not mess with them!

Their basic desire is often expressed when they assert independence from a very young age! They want to be in control of their own future and make decisions that satisfy their needs and wants. This enneagram desires to be independent and resourceful enough to guard themself against threats or any sort of harm!


This article painted a detailed picture of the two enneagram types namely the 4w5 and 8w9 enneagram and commented on how compatible they are with each other. It also introduced the enneagrams and commented on their relationship behaviors as well as the fears and desires that motivate them.





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