8w7 & 8w9: Enneagram Relationships (A Complete Guide)

This article will highlight how compatible the 8w7 and 8w9 enneagrams are for each other by listing down their traits which help affect compatibility and also explaining how they behave in relationships. Furthermore, the article will also introduce the two types in detail to the audience.

8w7 & 8w9 Enneagram Relationships: Do They Live Happily Ever After?

The 8w7 and 8w9 enneagrams are quite compatible with each other because they not only have similar traits but also worldviews. They both like to remain independent and will challenge authority although the 8w7 may be more aggressive while their counterpart the 8w9 may adopt a more diplomatic approach to keep things calm and under control.

The two enneagrams are lively and energetic and prefer to have things done their own way. They share their thoughts and care about each other and respect each other’s opinions. Also, they share much love and passion between each other; the 8w7 may be more expressive about this as compared to the 8w9 enneagram.

However, any conflict between them can spiral out of control and they both will exhibit their traits of stubbornness, impatience and of course their desire to follow their own opinion. Eventually, after some venting out and the reminder that they are deeply in love and do not want to live without each other, the two enneagrams will naturally levitate towards one another and find a middle ground.

On one hand, the 8w7 enneagram may become insensitive to the feelings of their spouse or partner while on the other hand, the 8w9 becomes detached. Although this is one way of handling the situation, the two can become distant if no one takes corrective action; either the 8w7 will have to recognize the coldness in their partner’s behaviour or the 8w9 will have to speak up and tell their spouse how hurt they are.

In this article, we will introduce the two enneagrams and highlight their traits especially with regards to how they behave in relationships and what fears and desires they have.

8w7 Enneagrams – Nonconformists

The 8w7 enneagram type shares most of its traits with the 8 type enneagram but also has some traits from the wing 7 too. This enneagram is generally comfortable with conflicts that they may face and this is because they are confident, independent and quite ambitious! They persevere in their path and do not let others get in the way. Furthermore, they may be quiet but when the time comes they will speak up and defend their own stance or those of others. 

Although they wander much around in their mind, these enneagram types are also great at handling people and taking practical steps. They make the right decisions and prefer to do so on their own without much interference. Apart from thinking clearly and logically, they are creative and like to test innovative ideas! They go the extra mile when it comes to establishing goals or milestones that they want to achieve. They are big dreamers and quite idealistic in their vision. They want to create a world or society where people can go big or go home. They want to help others achieve their own dreams by ensuring no one creates hurdles for them.

This enneagram type, however, is afraid of losing their own autonomy and maybe this is why they are so independent because they want to assure themselves that they can handle most matters on their own. At the same time, these individuals also struggle when it comes to being emotionally honest or vulnerable. They will try to ignore their own emotions or what they feel because they are either too afraid of facing them or just want to focus on what is going on in the external world. They won’t even let anyone too close as they do not want to become emotionally or mentally vulnerable.

This enneagram type has however developed great people skills and can become effective and inspirational leaders. They are open when it comes to sharing their thoughts and opinions about certain matters with others – they do not care about what others will think. They are comfortable creating connections with others and can easily do so.

However, this enneagram does have some weaknesses. They will have difficulty in following instructions from authority figures and they are impatient at times. They may overindulge in themselves or their work and may become insensitive to the feelings of others. 

If you’re facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.

Enneagram 8w9: The Diplomat

This enneagram type is confident and patient but at the same time protective and will strike if required. However, compared to type 8 enneagrams, they are more gentle and easy going. They prefer to remain calm and stress free when it comes to tasks that are due or responsibilities that they have – it is better to remain calm rather than fret about what one needs to do!

At the same time, these enneagrams enjoy the independence they have and dislike taking orders from other people, especially authority figures. They want to do things their own way in a manner that is easy and comfortable for them. It’s my way or the highway for them! Whether its work, school or any program they are enrolled in, they want to be able to have the liberty of engaging in self paced courses that allow them a great deal of flexibility; they appreciate programs or systems where they are given the end goal and given the freedom to pursue it in a manner that is acceptable to them.

However, this type of enneagram also has issues related to their emotions – especially the regulation of emotions. They do not feel very comfortable expressing their emotions to others possibly because of the fear they have – they do not want to be controlled or manipulated by others. Hence, they will not always express how they feel about someone or something and keep this to themself.

Relationships – How Do 8w7s & 8w9s Behave?

This enneagram type is more clear in their thinking and can look at things for what they are. They do not give too much weightage to their emotions and this allows them to have a neutral and objective stance which matches that of their partner. They can easily express their thoughts and hence quickly get to the root cause of the issue and communicate it to their partner.

Furthermore, another trait that helps them settle down with their partner is forming connections. Their partner appreciates it when others take time out to get to know them!

These enneagram types are very protective of their partners. They do not want them to be hurt in any way and hence try to not only fulfill their needs but ensure no one or anything harms them. The type 8w9 enneagram is one that understands the differences. They wont go on a rant on how stupid a particular culture or belief system is nor will they throw much questions at a person who chooses a certain profession, degree or any type of choice for that case just because they don’t agree with it. Rather they will try to understand why things are that way and how they can be more accepting of it.

Desires & Fears- 8w7s And 8w9s

The basic fear of the type 8w9 enneagram – which extends to women as well – is to be hurt by others. Hence, they like to avoid situations where they are not in control and are at more risk of being let down by others, manipulated or deceived or emotionally damaged.

Their basic desire is often expressed when they assert independence from a very young age! They want to be in control of their own future and make decisions that satisfy their needs and wants. This enneagram desires to be independent and resourceful enough to guard themself against threats or any sort of harm!

The 8w7 enneagram type fears being controlled and manipulated by others. They are scared they will become helpless or weak to the extent that others will tell them what to do and how to do it – something which is against their wishes or desires. They want to be able to control how they do things.

The Non-conformist desires to remain in control of their own life. They realize that this can only be achieved if they work hard and become independent.


This article took a look at how the 8w7 and 8w9 enneagrams fit together in relationships by studying their major traits and behaviours especially with regards to intimate relations. The article also introduced both enneagrams in detail to the readers.





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