4w3 & 4w5 Relationships (A 4 Point Guide)

This article will explore whether or not the two enneagram types – the 4w3 and the 4w5 – are good for each other. It will comment on how they complement each other and what traits may turn out to be hurdles in their life with each other. Furthemore, the article will also introduce the two enneagrams to the readers so they develop a deeper understanding of the topic in discussion.

4w3 & 4w5 Relationships: Are They Good Partners?

Both enneagram types like to remain authentic not only to others but to themselves as to who they are and what they feel. This allows them to have genuine and authentic relationships with each other. They do not fake feelings just for the sake of being in a relationship or having someone with them to ensure they are not alone.

The 4w3 and 4w5 enneagram types are also able to understand their own selves with much depth and this helps them communicate to each other their own needs – they are clear about what they need from the other person to feel comfortable.

They share a number of desires which allows them to have a stronger bond. They want to understand the world around them and impact it in a significant manner. Both of them are creative and have a passion for knowledge.

However, they do have differences that may reduce the compatibility between them. The 4w3 enneagram has the habit of emotionally reacting in difficult situations while the 4w5 enneagram tends to distance themself in similar ones. This can result in an explosive battle between the two where one requires attention despite their chaotic responses and the other one wants to hide away for a while. 

Another issue is that both enneagram types have the tendency to focus on themselves and this may result in the other partner left feeling neglected. They might put their own needs first and refuse to compromise despite the fact that both partners have to sometimes forgo their own needs or desires to sustain a relationship.

What Is The Enneagram Type 4w3?

The enneagram type 4w3 is known as the ‘Aristocrat’ and even sometimes as the ‘Enthusiast’. They are one of the enneagram types that are known for their sensitivity and introspection. 

These individuals like to keep some distance between themselves and others not because they dislike people but because they realize they are sensitive and vulnerable. As a result they may seem aloof or self centered but can be very expressive at times. Sometimes they may even seem dramatic or moody! However, they are usually very careful in their dealings with others and prefer to maintain a safe distance.

These enneagram types like to spend time in their head; they are pretty creative and come up with many unique and interesting ideas that can encourage new things or help solve problems. The aristocrat is also emotionally honest and realizes what they feel; they will be expressive but can sometimes be considered moody. However, the same enneagram type can engage in self pity and persistent feelings of sadness. They are also too indulged in their own selves and may not notice what is going on around them.

The 4w5 Enneagram: The Free Spirit

This enneagram type is a combination of traits mostly from the enneagram 4 with some traits from the enneagram type 5 as well. Compared to most enneagram type 4’s, this one is not very concerned with their public image and hence do not worry too much about how others will think of them. Furthermore, the type 4 enneagram is more into developing a deeper understanding of themselves and the world around them.

To develop a deeper understanding of things, the type 4w5 enneagram tends to engage in behaviours like introspection, imagination and deep thinking. They are also very creative as a result and like to focus on their perception of their environment. This enneagram type is driven by a deeper desire to truly understand the world and how it operates. The main purpose behind this is that they want to develop themselves in such a way that they can affect the world profoundly and also develop a self identity; it is important to develop the self keeping in mind the type of place they live in.

By engaging in such behaviours, the type 4w5 enneagram may seem distant at times; others may think they do not want to talk or interact, however in reality they are just too busy thinking about themselves and the world they live in. This might be one reason why people may think they are not too approachable or friendly!

Their ability to spend much time in their mind and the creative thinking style they have allows them to solve problems in a unique and beneficial manner. They are also very much thirsty for knowledge and have an urge to learn more and more about things. Hence, they are smart individuals who keep growing day by day with the knowledge they gain!

Relationships For 4w3s & 4w5s – How They Handle It?

The 4w5 enneagram does well when it comes to relationships. This is because they are able to connect with their significant partner in a deep and meaningful manner. They are also true to themselves and others and this prevents any misconceptions from entering into the relationship. They are committed and put in the time and effort to make things work.

Although they do focus on their partner’s feelings, this enneagram type may sometimes become emotionally reactive and only express their displeasure without really considering the problem at hand. Also, they have the habit of focusing on their own selves that may make the other person feel neglected.

If you’re facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.

Fears & Desires – 4w3s & 4w5s

Apart from having enough knowledge and wanting to impact the world in a positive manner, the enneagram type 4w5 wants to be able to develop their own personal identity in the entire process. They want to be known as someone who is unique and not just like others.

The type 4w5 enneagram also has their fears! The biggest fear they have – apart from not having enough knowledge – is to not be able to impact the world they live in. They want to be able to make a difference using the knowledge and skills they have and benefit people in such a manner that they are remembered or leave behind a legacy.

The basic fear of the 4w3 enneagram is that they will have no identity and hence not be known by others, instead they will remain in the shadows where they are a ‘nobody’. They want to be somebody hence they perceive themselves as someone who is special or different from others and this compensates for their fear of being without an identity.

The aristocratic personality is scared they will be meaningless; this means they won’t have any purpose or identity with which they can define themselves. Their thoughts become so negative that they feel they will never live the life other people live because they have no importance in life; they look down upon themselves. Enneagrams of this type describe this feeling as if they are invisible and feel this feeling will always last.

It is now obvious what the desire is of the typical aristocrat personality; they want to possess an identity that they can be known or recognized by so that they hold some meaning in life. This will help them achieve what it is in life whether it is their dream job, the relationships they have always wanted or the lifestyle they wanted to adopt.

It is important to note that this enneagram type also wants to be unique and not just like everybody else. This is somewhat contradictory to the entire issue they face; they want to be like others to enjoy what they have but at the same time be different enough to be known individually. They will try to change their own selves or point out others for their mistakes. The aristocrat may also incorporate changes in their appearance to stand out.


This article painted a detailed picture of the two enneagram types namely the 4w5 and 4w3 enneagram and commented on how compatible they are with each other. It also introduced the enneagrams and commented on their relationship behaviors as well as the fears and desires that motivate them.




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