3w2 Relationships (A complete guide)

In this guide, we will delve into understanding 3w2 relationships. We will also try understanding Type 3 and Type 2 personalities.

3w2 Relationships

Enneagram Type Three with a Two-Wing (3w2) individuals generally identify as Type 3. The predominant influence is of Type 3. However, they share certain characteristics with Type 2.  3w2 individuals are also known as “the Enchanter”. Type Three is generally associated with competition and success. To be the best at what they do matters to Type 3. They are more concerned with money, wealth, and success. 

Type Two brings an element of love, concern, and genuine empathy to this combination. 3w2 individuals are extroverted, they are very outgoing and sociable. Their charisma allows them to charm people with their humor, energy, and engaging people skills. When it comes to impressing a potential partner, 3w2 individuals will wield their charm and impeccable communication skills. They make for very entertaining individuals too. So there is unlikely to be a dull moment around them. When you’re having a bad day, having a 3w2 around you means being cheered up. They will use their humor, energy, and wit to make you smile. Innately, they carry a desire to be liked and impress others. Drawing forth from the characteristics of type 3, these individuals might put on a facade while trying to impress someone. The fear of being rejected, and disliked finds these individuals hesitating to be their real selves.

To the 3w2, a relationship is very important. They will make an effort to nurture their romantic relationships. Their competitive streak finds them attaching a sense of competition when it comes to their romantic pursuits too. They want their partner and relationship to be something that has everyone go “wow”!

They will want their romantic encounters to also be an impressive tale they can talk about. In healthy 3w2 individuals, however, there is a tendency to be narcissistic. Their description of their lives tends to be boastful. They will tell you about their achievements; career, money or that big car they bought last year. Oftentimes, they might brag about the romance in their lives; partners, past relationships, and other romantic pursuits.

They might try to adapt to the behavior and likes of another person, only to impress them. They might find themselves struggling to be true to who they are. Having a successful relationship is as important to them as a successful career.

Characteristics of Type 2, finds 3w2 individuals harboring genuine care and compassion for people around them. As much as they value success in their lives, they will inspire others to also reach the pinnacle of achievement in their lives. They want to inspire them.

3w2 Overview:

These individuals are enthusiastic and ambitious. Enneagram Type Three with a Two-Wing person fears failure. Further, they fear being unworthy of affection and love from others. Thus, they strive to achieve the goals set for themselves. It adds to their sense of worth and feeling of success. These folks want to be accepted by people around them. They will try to fish for this acceptance through their achievements. This further leads them to immerse themselves in their work. Their goals are often ambitious. Accomplishing them, brings the 3w2 person great satisfaction.  They are extremely encouraging and supportive of people around them. They are able to establish a rapport with others with great ease. They harbor a deep concern for their people and community.

3w2 individuals feel stressed if they think they are disappointing their loved ones. Further, if they find themselves in a situation that could tarnish their self-image, 3w2 individuals can feel extremely stressed. Their spirit tends to feel derailed when they are unable to strike a balance between their personal and professional lives

Type 3 

These individuals are ambitious and competitive. They place a lot of importance on achievement, constantly seeking to advance in their personal and professional endeavors. They are outgoing and sociable, with a knack to navigate through human conversations with ease. There is a certain charm the type 3 person brings to the table.  They may be very concerned with what others think of them. Hence, they might try to be impressive around people.

They desire to feel valued and appreciated; the kind of person that people look at with awe! They want to be individuals that are set apart from the crowd; admired by everyone. However, in the process of impressing  people, they are likely to lose their sense of individuality sometimes. They might ignore their own opinions and beliefs. They fear they will be rejected, disliked or unappreciated by people if they say something that does not  sit with the general norm.

When stressed, Type Three individuals can become apathetic. When moving in the direction of their growth, they tend are likely to be very cooperative

When they are in a healthy state, these individuals carry the potential to reach great heights of success. They are able to achieve endeavours they have set their mind to. They tend to be looked up to for their accomplishments. While they carry on with their quest for success, these individuals also empower others. They will motivate people to reach for their goals. Type 3 individuals will reaffirm your faith in the possibility of achieving anything you work towards determinedly. As healthy Type 3 individuals, they tend to pay attention to developing their skills and abilities. 

Their preference for success tends to seep into almost every other area in their lives. The definition of success will differ from person to person. For some, success tantamounts to  having an education from an Ivy League university, a six-figure salary and a car. To another person, success translates into the happiness they find when they love what they do. Success might also be defined by the kind of career one chooses. Our ideas can be influenced by factors like culture, family and individual ideas. However, whatever one regards as success is taken very seriously by the Type 3. They want to live true to this definition. It scares them to veer off this path.

While growing up, Type Three children will  pay close attention to the activities their parents, peers consider to be valuable. They will strive to excel in this. They will make an effort to develop themselves, nurturing their positive characteristics and qualities. The Type 3 will try to adapt to ways that will help them receive praise and appreciation.

To the Type Three, success is more than just a term. It tends to pervade their lives to a large extent. They do not want to disappear in the darkness of mediocrity. They want to stand out and feel worthy of themselves. They fear their lives will melt into nothingness if they don’t strive to be successful.To excel, brings in a wave of recognition, appreciation and awe. Type 3 individuals thrive on this. Like pigeons, they will continue to peck on grains of endeavours that will make them stand out. Type 3 individuals tend to rush into activities; anything they feel will make them successful, and bring them appreciation. In the process of doing this, they lose touch with what they truly want from their lives. In the end, they find themselves jumping from one endeavour to another, yet feeling an emptiness. They are not in touch with what they truly aspire for. 

Despite being the primary type in the feeling centre, these individuals are likely to have put their feelings away. In their quest for success, they perceive emotions as a sort of hindrance. They tend to bring in logic and practicality in their approach to life.

All their lives, type three individuals have tailored their life in accordance with the expectations of others. Oftentimes, when they realise this later on in life, they grapple with the difficulty of knowing what they truly want out of their lives. They may not have been able to unearth their authentic characteristics as a child. While growing up, living upto the expectations of others warranted praise and appreciation. Inevitably, they started basing their lives on this transaction; engaging in activities/endeavours, adapting to others’ likes that would garner appreciation and create an impression.

Relationships

Type Three individuals strive to maintain a good self-image. They are very conscious about how they might appear to other people. They are ambitious folks, harboring the need to be valued and recognized. In the quest of immersing themselves in their work, they may find their relationships suffering sometimes. Thus, it is essential for Threes to be cautious of this tendency. Establish healthy work-life boundaries, could prevent their relationship from sliding into a place of neglect. 

Also, Threes should try to stay more in touch with their feelings. Type Three individuals tend to put on a facade with a new partner. They might appear to be different from who they truly are. They do not value themselves, often believing they will  be more worthy if they are accomplished. They must realise their value as an individual, not rely on their accomplishments at work. Additionally, their partners should be appreciative of their work and accomplishments. However, at the same time, they must not attribute their worth to these achievements. Let them know you love them for who they really are, and not solely for their accomplishments.

Famous Type 3 Personalities:

Michael Jordan

Jon Bon Jovi

Condoleeza Rice

Will Smith

Type 2 

Type Two individuals are very receptive to the needs of other people.  They are empathic individuals who make for very caring partners. They will go out of their way to help and support other people. Sometimes, in the quest of doing so, they may neglect their own needs. Healthy individuals are able to pay attention to their own needs too. While offering their support to everyone else, they are able to be rooted in their own individuality.

Famous Type 2 Personalities:

Mother Teresa

Mr.Rogers

Doris Day

Nancy Reagan

Conclusion

In this blog post, we delved into understanding 3w2 relationships. We also delved into understanding Type 3 and Type 2.

Frequently Asked Questions: 3w2 Relationships

How do you get along with Type 3?

Support their efforts to maintain peace and harmony in the environment.
When giving feedback, make sure it is honest and not critical.
Do not burden them with unpleasant emotions.
Giving them their space when they are doing work. Try not to be too intrusive.
Let them know you enjoy their company.
(www.psychologytoday.com)

What is an unhealthy 3?

Unhealthy 3 individuals tend to lose touch with their true identity. In the quest to gain appreciation from others, they make up stories about themselves. They struggle to take responsibilities for their mistakes. They attempt to safeguard their image. Hence, they avoid revealing anything that may tarnish their image in any way (youenneagramcoach.com)

References:

https://www.crystalknows.com/enneagram/type-3-wing-2

https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-3

Divya is currently a Clinical Psychology Trainee in a Master of Philosophy program and holds a Master’s in clinical psychology. She has a special interest in Personality studies and disorders, having researched the subject before, and Neuropsychology; with an additional interest being Mood disorders. She likes to write about Psychiatric issues, having worked in multiple specialty setups during her time as a clinical psychology student, and in her free time she likes to cook and read.

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